What would you do? How are we ever supposed to move/upsize?

[Yemelade]

Morning all.

Long ranty thread incoming, but hoping for some guidance! For reference, I turn 30 this year and DH is 33. No kids yet (though would like some in future) just us and pets.

I would say 90% of my personality and who I am is a person is being able to plan my future, know that I will feel safe and secure in that future, and know I have options available to never leave me desolate I.e. never being in a position where we can't afford the mortgage. Up until last year, I'd always had a life plan, but due to cost of living and mortgage rates increasing etc, that simply just hasn't been possible and it's getting to me a fair bit at present...

DH and I had always planned to sell and move this year, though have now decided to think about doing this in April next year. We hate the area (lots of crime, bad neighbours, local kids swearing and urinating on public transport etc 🤢), and our home is too small to even think about having kids in this actual house.

Our home needs a general tidy up/repaint and some work done in the garden, but then we'll be good to go. Neither of us are in a hurry to do this however, because our current mortgage rate is 2%, houses prices in our area aren't great so selling won't be easy or provide us with a figure we would like, and moving to a larger property is now going to be a lot more expensive than we had originally planned (which also makes me question the feasibility of even having children - which is my biggest motivation to move - when money will be so tight??)

I just wondered if you were me, what would you do?

A) Take whatever hit we need to take early next year to sell the house, and hope to buy another house that is affordable at around the same.

B) Sell up, then move to rented whilst waiting (for a potentially indefinite period/delay TTC #1) for rates to stabilise and for an affordable home to come up

C) Stay where we are and try to overpay our current mortgage over the next few years to try and claw back more house buying power in a potentially difficult market

I was leaning towards A), but we both want to be in a 10 year fixed term before we think about kids because the thought of prices shooting up and being unable to afford the roof over my head is sending me into meltdown. On getting quotes for this on homes that are cheaper than the ones we had first started looking at means our mortgage will be 2/3 times what we're paying now. DH mentioned we could always get a 2 years deal and then pay whatever interest rates we need to, and then just live in hope for them to drop... But this seems irresponsible and risky.

I just feel very lost. I don't have anyone in my life that owns their home or has had to face this type of dilemma, and I'm finding that when I talk to friends they just say "have a baby you'll make it work" but that's absolutely not something I can consider unless we've moved, I cannot be stuck in our current home.

Any advice much appreciated!

Option C. The houses that you are struggling to be able to afford to buy now - will likley get cheaper. As will mortgage rates eventually. Save every penny you can for 12 to 24 months, sell everything you don't use, make full use of your isa allowances. Then look again at what's happening in the market. Don't get trapped into having children in a place you are unhappy with. Focus on improving your finances - make sure you stop or pay off any kind of personal borrowing first.

Option c. Unfortunately the way things are people are just going to have to re-evaluate plans and wait longer for things.

I’m exactly the same as you – I need to be able to have a clear plan in order for my mind to feel at peace! I’d go for option C. Remember that it will potentially take you six months to conceive, when you’re pregnant for 9/10 months, and the baby won’t even leave your room for another six months. So you’re talking 2 years until you even need a room for a baby.

You also haven’t mentioned the fact, but most lenders allow you to port your mortgage and move your 2% rate to the new house, which might make it more affordable.

I understand wanting to feel secure but there is a middle ground somewhere. Nothing in life is totally plannable and if you wait until the perfect time for life changes like children etc…it just never comes.

Get the house & garden sorted now so you are ready to go whenever. That gives you flexibility and you are also able to enjoy it while you’re in the house.

Meanwhile, prioritise saving. Personally we’re not overpaying the mortgage just now as we can make a lot more in interest on savings and then have a big chunk to put into the mortgage when our fix is up.

Your husband is sensible talking about a 2 year fix rather than 10 year while rates are so high. 10 years is a long time and rates could change an awful lot - you could end up massively overpaying for years in such a long fix where rates are hopefully coming down a bit over time. Also factor in career progression etc.

Getting pregnant can take time. Hopefully it will happen really quickly for you when you want it to but it is one of life’s great unplannable things.

In short, you’re sensible to think about long term security but don’t let being over cautious get in the way of actually living life. There’s no such thing as the perfect time or being able to plan for every eventuality.

I agree with @Yourebeingtooloud. It's good to plan and save but also don't over think as well. While there are often 'wrong' times to do things, there is also never a 'perfect' time to have a child or move house - you just get on with things the best can.

I vote for option C and agree with @Yourebeingtooloud

I wouldn't want to fix for 10 years at the current interest rate. It will be lower by 2024, not much lower maybe but still lower, and likely to be around 4% by the end of 2024/early 2025. You are in no immediate need to move house so I would stay put at least until Spring 2024 and get the jobs done. Enjoy only having to pay 2% for as long as possible and being able to overpay or save money for the future. But also, you don't necessarily have to wait ages before starting to try for a baby, particularly if your current property has 2 bedrooms or 1 bedroom with enough space for a cot.

Definitely not B. Probably C.

I don't think there is ever a 'right' time to have kids. We had our first in a tiny two bedroom house and then had our second in the same house bursting at the seams. We moved eventually but I remember that as a happy time even though there was no space and not enough bedrooms.

Option C

B. Take the hit, get sold, port your mortgage, invest your equity, rent and buy your bigger home (that will have taken an even bigger hit) from the strong position of being chain-free.

Everything @Yourebeingtooloud said.

If you wait until "you can afford it" to have dc, then you would probably never have them. Or, if you do try, your fertility may well be limited.

There's no reason not to smarten up your house now - then you are ready, when you are ready.
You can also (whilst not having dc) set yourself a goal of saving £X over the next year / 18months / 2 years). Get 2nd jobs and / or rent a room out to a lodger / look at other ways you can cut spending, or increase income. Do something proactive whilst you are able.

Don't do B

Lots of people were doing B and found they were stuck not being able to find places to rent as landlords started selling up/doing Air B'n'B

Do C and as PPs said get your house sorted out now while you don't have a child. Also historically normal mortgage rates are about 4-5%. As they are currently over that you don't want a 10 year fix.

I loved my first house. It was small, in a very undesirable area, but was in generally not bad condition and it’s location was great for both of our jobs - we didn’t need a car.

we worked hard, played hard and saved hard.

I always loved the house we are in now, and it came up for sale and I wanted it - wanted it badly!

my husband didn’t get it, it was a massive old draughty house, it still is a massive old but not as draughty house.

We spoke to a financial adviser who advised his advise, but I am a big believer in if it’s right it will happen, we sold our house to a local housing association who were buying in our area and we moved into our new house.

We took lodgers in at the beginning, lived on beans on toast, we both had full time jobs, we both took on part time jobs too including delivering the weekly advertisers and phone books and yellow pages.

Good luck, I have no idea who said it but dream hard enough and dreams do come true

I think fixing for 10 years right now would be a terrible idea. In two years time, it's very likely rates will have gone down, at least a little bit.

That said, now probably isn't a great time to move either? But could you not do a mixture of A and C- i.e. start overpaying your mortgage etc, whilst also keeping an eye out? If something comes on that's affordable and you really like it, then go and see, but if nothing comes on you're getting ready to seriously look in a year or two.

Feel free not to answer, but how would you feel if you never had kids because it "wasn't the right time"?

C -

But our first house we got caught out by 10 year fix - rated dropped like a stone and there were huge early repayment charges - we tend to do 5 year now looking longer than that in future is hard.

Hi all,

Thanks for your replies. I know you can't plan for every eventuality, (and that's something I struggle with at the best of times) but I don't want to feel like I don't have a plan and it feels like our hopes and dreams are vanishing with each passing day. I'm probably punishing myself more by using Rightmove everyday when we aren't yet in a position to sell, but reading your comments has made me realise I can still be proactive during this period by preparing our home and garden which has made me feel a bit more hopeful!

Totally appreciate the people who have advised that a baby doesn't need their own room immediately and conceiving takes time etc, but the biggest issue I have is that I don't want to be trapped in this house if or when that time comes. There are benefits in being here, e.g. super tiny mortgage of 57k/£370 a month, 3 miles away from city centre, next to a small community very popular with students and young professionals (not really me and DHs scene, but many twenty something's are keen to move just up the road from us!) But I think I would have consistent low mood if I raised a baby here. it's loud, high crime rates, not much for families to do, vandalism on every corner, rubbish everywhere etc. I'm also concerned that if I had a child our affordability will change and I know from friends they've ended up stuck because of affordability testing/maternity leave etc.

Re. How would I feel if I never had kids because it wasn't the right time - I guess I won't know unless it happens. My mother went through menopause in her 40s, my sibling and cousins on my mother's side all have pcos and troubles conceiving or carrying babies to term, so I guess I've always anticipated that not having kids might be a real medical possibility for me. I think perhaps I might always feel a sense of "what if" or longing and a sense of loss at lives we never got around to creating and sharing in that joy, but I can't say how I would feel unless it happened really.

I am the same as you, own a 2 bed flat, wanted to move to a 3 bed flat before having a baby. Have pets in the second bedroom but like a previous poster said, 6 months of baby in my room, 6 months TTC, 9 months of pregnancy, plus we have overseas holidays planned in the next 9 months. So like over 2 years at least before baby needs their own room and to put it nicely, my pets are gerbils which don't tend to live for more than 3-4 years (and they are a year old).

So while we are still looking out for properties and have our flat listed, a part of me feels that it isn't super prudent to move as I don't theoretically need all that space until baby is at least a year old or two.

C but I wouldn't overpay a 2% mortgage, I'd save as much money as possible into a high interest account to pay down the mortgage at the end of the fixed rate.

If it was me I would get the house ready now so if you see a suitable house online you are ready to sell up. You can probably port your mortgage to a new property.

It might be easier to help if you can give figures on salary and expected salary rises. Your mortgage does seem very low but hard to tell if you have scope to stretch without actual numbers.

Stay where you are and downgrade your mansion fantasies. If you have a garden, I assume you have a house, which is likely to have at least 2 bedrooms. That's plenty big enough for a small child if you're ruthless about throwing out belongings. If you want 2 children, that gives you 5 years to move to a 3 bed in an area with better schools, in which time you can save and work on getting better paid jobs. Little children won't notice that the house is small, so it's only your own hang ups that you've got to get over.

Thanks for your comment, though I'm afraid you've missed my point. It's a 3 bed house. The barrier isn't that it isn't big enough (sure, it's not as big as I would like) but the biggest difficulty is that it's in an absolutely horrible area and I don't want to get stuck here. Horrible means vehicular crime frequently, neighbours smoking weed on their doorsteps, etc. I've given other examples above as to why I hate the area and don't see myself raising a child here and we would need to move before we TTC. It's never been an option to TTC in our current home.

Option C. No point in planning anything when it comes to TTC / having children generally. Loads of people move once they have a baby/children. Save money in the highest interest saving account you can get, and overpay once you remortgage. You will definitely get a better savings rate than 2% interest on your mortgage. But don't assume rates will come down to what they have been, that seems incredibly unlikely. The other option is get the longest term mortgage you can, to lower monthly payments, we've just done this.

If you hate the area, what about moving to a better area, but compromising on the number of bedrooms or going for a flat if you live in a city? MN hates flats, but if you choose well (and with some luck) it can work pretty well in urban areas.

I think the market will evolve fast over the next year or so.

A lot of people are holding out for high prices and are not facing reality, but this will change.

You are in a perfect position for housebuying because you don't need to rush, so you can wait for the best deal as the market evolves, and I think over the next 12 months we should start to see some real falls, so this April doesn't sound unrealistic.

I would focus on improving your current house for sale where you can - doing up the bits that will improve it cosmetically but cost relatively small amounts of money.

Also, work hard to maintain your salary. With inflation at the current high level if you are not getting substantial pay rises you are getting pay cuts. Look to see where you might be able to change jobs to make money, or push for pay rises.

Finally, I would keep an eye out constantly on what is on sale for opportunities. Remember that the golden rule is not to fall in love with a place, and be prepared to walk away if you can't get a good price. If you stick to this strategy it may well be that it takes a year or so to find a suitable place anyway, by which time the effects of higher interest rates should be taking hold.

this is what i am doing, monitoring the market and being prepared to stay in my 2 bed flat with a baby. The previous occupant lived there with a toddler and a dog!