Need to vent (house-move related)

[ThePlantKiller]

I know this isnt AIBU but I know I probably am BU, seeing as there are people struggling and there is a COL crisis, however I just feel the need today to have a bit of a rant as I'm so fed up.

DH and I live with our 12yo DS and 8yo DD in a 2 bed terrace, kids share a room. We put our house on the market last July, lost our first buyer as their mortgage got refused just after the mini-budget and interest rates began to rise. Over the next few months we found two other separate buyers but they both pulled out respectively due to illness and not being happy at having to fork out for potential repairs despite offering 10% under HR and us accepting this (we live in an area of Scotland where houses are sought after and the vast majority of the time will achieve at least 10% over HR). In May we accepted an offer again at 10% under HR, the month after our move fell through 7 days before the move date as vendor was being made redundant. Our buyer demanded that we still move out but we had nowhere to go and can't afford rents (plus would lose our fixed rate of 1.95 that we were porting). They walked, fair enough.

There are hardly any houses out there to buy within our area, where we are planning to stay due to the kids schooling, and competition is huge when the houses do come on the market. My kids hate sharing a room and there's no place to extend, our only option is to either move or for us to sleep in the livingroom and give one of the kids our bedroom. I cried earlier on today because I saw our last buyer walking out of the cul-de-sac round the corner from us with her dog - the only house in this little street that has been on the market recently was owned by a young family who, lucky them, have managed to get a buyer (our old buyer!) and move on to most likely bigger and better things. Meanwhile we are stuck here in this tiny house and I feel guilty that despite having a huge deposit to move (around 65% of our total budget) we just can't get out of here and give our family more space. I cried because of this, and because other people are getting to move on and we aren't and because our last bloody buyer will always be walking past our fucking house because they bought round the corner from us.

I think it's just getting on top of me and I'm hormonal with peri, plus being stuck at home as I have covid isn't helping. I know I should be grateful I have a roof over my head and the chances are that we will get moved at some point, even if it is another couple of years down the line. Someone give me a virtual slap please!

You don't need a virtual slap, your sadness is perfectly valid. If you need to cry, get it out. A little bout of self indulgence will only help you kick yourself out of it anyway.

When you have recovered (people are STILL getting COVID, really? Feel better soon), can I suggest you and the family try to get out of the house and do day trips or visits to local attractions, cinema, museums, out for lunch on a Saturday. Anything to break up the monotony of being in a house you don't want to live in. We have found it helps. Sometimes one of us screams 'fuck this house!', we get in the car and just drive to get away from the bricks and mortar.

As your area is in such high demand have you tried a) getting on EA books for new listings/first port of call if a sale falls through and b) leafleting houses on streets of particular interest to you?

I know it's a horrible feeling, I really feel for you.

Yes sounds like a really unfortunate stream of events OP! Absolutely reasonable to feel really gutted/frustrated. You’ve saved and saved for the deposit so it will all work out eventually.

The only positive I can see for you is that you’ve still got a great rate on the mortgage currently! It’s not been a year of high rates yet so there should be more properties coming on the market soon as and when people have to renew. Hopefully something bigger will come along again soon.

I don’t think you should move out of your room but fully appreciate that’s a tough age for the kids to be still sharing. Is there any way you could sort of split the room into two to give the kids a bit more privacy with a room divider/drapes and a clear division?

Hope it all works out eventually

Thanks for your replies, I really appreciate them. @KievLoverTwo I get email notifications when a new house in the area comes on the market so I'm not slow in getting out to view but the competition is huge. I know in many areas house prices are falling however, they aren't doing the same here as there are hardly any houses coming to market but the demand is still there and they sell for thousands and thousands over HR value. Unless it's my house, where nobody wants to pay over HR value and instead I have to accept 10% under (bitter!). I've not leafleted as I know of people who have done this - because of the buyers lining up on desirable properties, they have their pick of the offers and it's never really worked for them to do this.

@Bonniethewestie yes our interest rate still has three years to run which is great. We are in a position due to inheritance where we could pay our mortgage off but we aren't going to as we want to move and take the interest rate with us. The kids room would be tricky to divide tbh, they have the 'master' bedroom but it's still not the biggest room in the world.

This is the solution I saw on a programme (can’t remember which but probably had Phil & Kirsty in it!)

https://www.mattressnut.com/bunk-bed-room-dividers/

I don’t exactly know how you go about installing that, but I would have a real look into it before moving yourself out into the living room!

Otherwise I know you say you can’t afford it but might be worth selling up and renting for short term. At least you could move quickly when the right house comes along. You could use - bit of the insurance money to top up to the rent. I think some mortgages you can transfer with a 6 month gap in between (it just pauses I understand) so worth checking your situation.

@Bonniethewestie one of my work colleagues was talking about this recently, was it a family wirh two teenage girls? I think it was Love It Or List It. I'm not sure about constructing something like this in the master bedroom just in case we get an offer accepted on a property soon after - ideally I'd not want to have this kind of set up, I've heard of buyers being put off viewing due to modifications in rooms. I'll watch the programme to see what I think though.

I don't understand why you didn't pay the mortgage off and pay rent instead of mortgage, also if you have no mortgage why would interest rates matter (unless you're buying a house that needs a much bigger mortgage than what your house is worth).

If houses like yours sell 10% over and yours 10% under then maybe investigate why that could be. Maybe get a new EA too.

I am amazed it's taken you a year to sell given the loony market we had last year

@SuddenlyOld we didn't pay mortgage off as we would lose our fixed rate of 1.95%, this has another 3 years to run and we were all set to port it before our house move fell through earlier in the year. We can't afford to rent - our current monthly mortgage is £380, rent in a comparable house is £900, rising to about £1100 to give us sn extra bedroom. Tbh there's nothing in our area to rent currently, other than one bed flats.

Yes it was probably love it or list it! It did look quite genius on the show.

I know completely agree may put off buyers a bit but you could always keep the pics of before and show them it can all be dismantled. Just something to think about if you are at breaking point!

It was on BBC’s Your Home Made Perfect x

Thanks, that's probably why I couldn't find it yesterday!