Completion day pragmatics/parenting tips -- bed time in new house etc

[mumarooni]

Hello all

Looks like we are finally exchanging!!

I'm now planning completion day.

V small chain, but long distance move for us (about 4.5 hr drive). Our stuff isn't likely to be at the new house until fairly late in the day - with a small possibility of being delayed until the following day. We have a gap between selling current accom, and buying new house, so will be in air b and b locally, and we will keep that on for the extra night, so we have options for where we all sleep on completion day itself.

The kids and us all need new beds, so should we arrange to have these delivered the following day, or risk delivery the latter part of completion day? The risk would be what if they couldn't be delivered if sellers aren't out?

Part of me wonders whether a camp-out style night would be fun for them in the new house so we can get on with unpacking in the evening, have take away tea, tv and sleeping bags all together on the living room floor? Or is this a terrible idea. They are 3 and 6. Probably is because it will be first day of new school the next day for 6 year old (timing has worked out awfully). But the more moving in we can do that day the better, as I have to go to new job the day after completion (again, timing sucks, we planned to complete 3 weeks before...).

It has got me wondering, what do people usually do re completion day pragmatics of what/how you eat dinner and where/how you sleep that night?! I guess if you have a local move and/or packers they can put everything up so you just get on with normal life. But if you have a long move or furniture to assemble/unpack/buy and little kids, how does it all work? TV for kids while you crack on and a potentially late night? Or they stay with family while you get it settled for them? (this isn't an option for us this time unfortunately, but just interested to see how others approached it).

I'd love to hear tips but also stories and experiences of how completion day actually panned out for the kids, I'm interested in the pragmatics but also how the kids coped with the whole thing emotionally, especially if they are similar ages, and you had long distance moves or late arrivals of your stuff, or a move that was right on top of new school start etc. I just want to plan to keep things as calm and secure for them as possible.

Thanks!

I complete next week with a toddler.

Bit different as I'm divorcing so toddler will spend the night before and night of the move at daddy's so I can keep him away from the worst of the chaos.

I want him to have his bed and toys ready before he sees new house.

(Also a slew of reasons why it's bad timing for us, so I feel your pain!)

In your circumstances I wouldn't think of leaving the air bnb for a couple of days.

Assuming you are in a couple, I'd leave the kids with one parent in the air bnb while the other deals with the move. I honestly think leave small children out of the moving stuff part as far as possible.

I'd also wait until next day to get beds delivered, as the likelihood of them arriving at a shit moment is too high. I've got a fridge freezer coming next day for this reason: better no milk overnight than it appearing while vendor is up to his neck in boxes.

I’ve got a 4 year old so have thought a bit about what we’re going to do on the day. My 4 year old starts school in September and she’s always lived in our current house. I’m aiming to put our beds up and fully expecting her to come into our bed if she’s scared being somewhere new.

For you it would probably be easier to stay in your air bnb and organise new beds for the day after. There’s so much that can happen on the day and you’ll probably be knackered.
Takeaway and camping style sounds fun! Make it into an adventure, we will definitely try and do the same.

And good luck with your move and new home!

@mumarooni I would add on extra time at the Air BnB if you can. When we previously rented we overlapped the tenancies by 2 weeks, that means you can get the new house ready, move at leisure, then clean down the old property. When we bought our first house we did the same thing.

Staying longer in the AirBnB means one of you can at least get back and do bed time whilst the other can be unpacking, getting sorted etc later into the evening. If you extend by a week perhaps it can give you an easier transition.

I have stayed in a holiday let on moving day and we decorated the children's bedrooms etc so they had their own already done space when we moved them in. Mine were 6 and 3 when we did that. You could arrange for decoration, new carpet and the new beds and then move in. Obviously it cost us financially but totally worth it. They wanted their rooms exactly how they had been at the last house which is what I gave them.

I'm a bit of a madam whiplash and we don't go to bed until every box is unpacked. We had fish and chips when we moved here on the dining table in the dining room ( the only time we have used that room) we got the keys at 10am and everything was done by midnight except for ohs workshop. We had new appliances delivered by AO in the 2pm slot which where plubmed in. Leave the kids with friends so they don't get in the way and pay for unpacking service if you can.

I would take the kids current beds for a bit of familiarity and get rid of them once there. I'd also take existing mattress at least for your bed, just in case.
Takes the pressure of everything.

Ours was local-ish move but during covid (the part where you could move but people were still wfh) so everything was delayed as it took ages to get the money to move up the chain due to solicitors and mortgage lenders all on wfh! We didn’t complete until 2.30pm so we didn’t get the keys until after 3pm. We just prioritised getting stuff moved into the house and vaguely in the correct room. the following day his bedroom was the priority so he had a vaguely usable space.

We got McDonalds take out for dinner and we all slept on mattresses in DS new bedroom that night. He was 4 and I was 5 months pregnant with DD so it was a challenging move! He coped fine with the move although the actual day of the move was hard for him as he couldn’t be at nursery that day which is what we had originally planned. He had a box of Lego, a few cars and his tablet to keep him entertained for 12 hours!

Kids are pretty resilient to these kind of changes, it’s stresses the adults out more, I think!

1st time I broke down on way and didn't arrive til midnight, my darling MIL waited there with the keys and a Flask. Camped in front of the open fire and cooked sausages on it.
2nd time was stressful and delayed so my boy had already started at his new school. I'd been planning on teaching him the new bus route but ended up sending him to school, he went to friends after and after moving I collected him myself. We all went to pub that night.

Take current beds. This whole bed thing is madness. Get news bed after a couple of weeks or whatever.

I wouldn’t do camping on the kitchen floor the night before new school.

Unless one parent has an illness or some other reason that makes this impossible, I would do:

Parent A moves into AirBnB with DC 48h before house move, to allow time to settle before school. If AirBnB not yet available, TravelLodge or similar locally.

Parent B deals with the move.

I've moved without DH a number of times,, as he is suspiciously good at being abroad with work whenever we do it 🤔. It's totally doable. Far less painful than what you are proposing.

We moved about 20 minutes down the road and we didn’t complete until 5pm 😂 We had a 3 year old and I was 7 months pregnant. The first night we got a takeaway and we all camped out. My little boy still talks about it now

Take away, camp beds, don’t overthink it. It will all be fine.

When I moved a few years ago ( only a small journey away..). We let my daughter just sleep on a matress for a couple of days, encourage her to use small boxes to help pack her own stuff so she could help with carrying them and unpacking. On the last night in our old house we all sat on beanbags eating fish and chips out of the paper, she loved it and also created a memory that lasts a life time, she still talks about it now!Also if possible allow them to decorate boxes so they can identify which ones are theirs.

Keep your Airbnb an extra night. Tell school your 6yo may need to start a day late due to the long distance move. Better that than send them in tired and overwhelmed to a brand new school.

Usually I would suggest you sort the kids bedrooms first when you move in ( put tinfoil on windows with water if necessary). However you seem to have a lot of deadlines to meet so I would opt to either sleep at the air bnb for an extra couple of nights or send the DC to a relative until you have had a chance to make the new house a welcoming place to be. It obviously doesn’t have to be completely sorted but children need to feel they have a safe place to sleep and their toys and food and possibly school things are there ready for them to do what they usually do.

We were a 200 mile move with a 5yo. We kept her out of the way as much as possible. So holiday club on packing day, then holiday club on loading day - we picked her up from that and drove straight off so she never saw our old house empty.

We drove as far north as we could, spent night in a hotel. DH then went ahead very early on the fast train north to meet the removal vans. DD and I proceeded at a leisurely pace in the car, stopping another night at grandparents en route. So stuff delivered day before all of us got there. By the time DD and I arrived all furniture in place and beds made.

Getting into her routine asap helped too. She went to local friends for the day the following day whilst we unpacked. Then new term and new school started. Getting stuck straight in seemed to help.

When we moved with a 3 year old, we just prioritised his room so he had a fully set up bedroom to settle in while we unpacked. We got our bed done on the first day as well so we all had somewhere to sleep that night. DS was top priority so he didn’t get too overwhelmed. I helped him unpack his things himself so he understood this was now home. He had lots of time to play while we did the rest of the house then we ate pizza on the floor. In your shoes though with first day of school the next day, I would stay in the Airbnb. Get your unpacking done whilst the kids are at school but save them a couple of boxes of their own things to do themselves.

I’d definitely keep the Airbnb for 2-3 extra nights if you can afford it. You might not get keys until later afternoon. I’d personally want to spend a whole day cleaning before unpacking anything or having anything delivered

Stay in the Airbnb for longer and get the children’s rooms ready for when they move in. It’s much easier.

Don't want to put you off but it's also a lot easier not moving in immediately especially with children as you don't know what stage the house will be in when you complete. If the vendor is nice and has got their act together it'll be clean, and in the condition you expected.

Our vendor was very disorganised and overwhelmed. He gave up packing and walked out leaving many of his possessions behind and the house absolutely filthy. I am very glad we weren't moving in immediately!

We took a packed dinner, reheated it plus freshly cooked rice, and managed on inflatable mattresses until our beds were sorted. We had considered renting an Airbnb but it wasn't necessary. Best of luck! Xx

Im moving on Thursday - first time I've had to do the sell this house and move to another on the same day. Usually as husband was in the forces we rented the house on camp for a week and I stayed with the kids whilst husband did the move and the unpacking. This time we have 3 young adult children with autism. We are renting an Airbnb for 4 nights (just been offered a cracking deal for staying 4th night) so will leave our adult kids in the Airbnb whilst we crack on with the move

the range are selling airbeds really cheap