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Homewick for Yorkshire Roots - North South Divide After Losses

1 reply

rubyankleshoes · 17/07/2023 18:49

Re-posting in case I put it in the wrong section. Fairly new user.

I would appreciate anyone's insights on this please, particularly as my family and friends aren't capable of giving input that isn't in one way or another biased towards what THEY want.

Firstly, I have felt homesick all my adult life. Grew up in Yorkshire with a large, extended family who all lived nearby and shared so much - in and out of each other's homes, at school with siblings and cousins, grandparents who picked us up when parents couldn't etc.. Left to go to Uni and never returned.

A few caveats that folk from other regions will surely be able to relate to: Yorkshire’s had its heart stripped out in terms of loss of vast chunks of its native industry. This blasted my family to all ends of the Earth. Add into the mix the fact that London has been allowed to become like a separate Nation State of its own that gives little pretence to actually levelling up other than hot airing about it.

Have now lived in several places including abroad and the SE- have never settled. Have not married yet or had kiddos (really want to before it's too late) .

Since Covid have lost x 3 grandparents in close succession. Heartbroken on levels I was expecting but worse than could even have dreamt. Always thought I would end up living near them and my darling grandparents would meet my offspring etc.

Am now compulsively collecting stuff that reminds me of them or invokes what our family used to be like/ utterly preoccupied with working out where on earth I can rebuild some semblance of what was smashed apart all those years ago in the name of (I would say simply 'survival' as it’s obviously part of it but also - a lot of Boomer over-ambition and Greed Is Good stuff from the 80s which drove some of our parents / aunts / uncles’ generations).

Just cannot figure out if there could even conceivably be enough opportunities left in Yorkshire to even survive happily there (just a simple job search on Indeed.com revealed 9 posts in entire 3 counties agains - and I am not joking 600+ commutable to London in my sector).

Yet I can't help wonder if I could possibly reconnect on the level I am dreaming of / whilst also knowing full well it wouldn’t be the same. Would involve almost entirely new cast of characters so would involve starting again.

Mostly just the culture and stone houses etc and the 'look' of what my grandparents aspired to for us would be there - that's what would feel familiar. Plus, dialect and cultural comfort, laughing in pubs, (some though not all) people being somewhat less materialistic that the SE and more commonsensical / practical (apologies in advance to Southerners but Yorkshire had vaccinated its entire population before most other counties had bumbled through their clinically vulnerable and elders ;-) there’s a legacy there of mass-organisation that goes to levels of practically I have yet to witness down South).

And yet - I also love the South - the sun, the gentility, the opportunities, the progress for women and other groups. But it’s extortionate and can’t afford much better than Assisted Buy or a Shoe Box down there.

Is anyone else feeling this way AND how did any of you resolve it? I see such a mix of experiences here including those who regret never leaving depressed areas and those who left the SE for better quality of life and now regret it. How to resolve this (and soon as don’t want to leave it too late for DC / marriage etc). Thanks in advance.

OP posts:
Led921900 · 17/07/2023 23:10

Yes I come from north west now down South and I’m not home sick for home per se but I am home sick for my family who are back there. The issues are similar for me though, jobs all down South. Now I have children though I look at the house prices and wonder if I am doing a disservice to them staying here as don’t see how they will afford anywhere. We’re not expecting any big inheritances or anything which tbh is what most people down here seem to have now to buy.

Can you look at jobs that give you the flexibility to commute down South but base yourself in Yorkshire?
Do you have friends and hobbies keeping you busy here?

my warning is unless stuff like that helps the feeling doesn’t go away.
Now I have a house and children the prospect of moving has become much more tricky for me but if you’re free to move and can’t shake the feeling I’d start looking into jobs that will make it possible.

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