To Move or not to Move that is the Question???

[henmama]

Sorry this is going to be long winded...

Me and my husband got married 5yrs ago. We were living in his house in the city which he bought at the perfect time in the right place and it had doubled his money. I encouraged us to move, thinking we are going to have a family and that we could be mortgage free.

We moved to an idyllic village near the sea in 2020. The house is my ideal house (nothing fancy, a 3 bed semi with garden) We have made it into a lovely home. Problems:

1. For reasons I don't want to get into, a family is not on the cards anymore.
2. Village is very parochial, People are lovely but I have only made 1 friend in the village who I feel I can be myself with.
3. All my good friends are in the City.
4. I feel lonely.
5. Houses are really expensive in the City and we would need a mortgage to get a house we liked in a location we liked.
6. We viewed houses in our budget and we could only afford a small 2 up 2 down terrace with no garden.

There are positives such as I love the peace and quite, I love the garden, and the love the house. I'm not sure if I would be causing upheaval for no reason and Im at that stage in my life where im having to adult properly (34) so have to adapt or moving back to the City would solve that. HELP!

If it's going to be the two of you would a 2 bed house not be enough?

You either have to really make an effort to build a new life where you are, or accept it's not what you wanted and move back where your previous life is. What does your husband think especially as it sounds like he moved because you wanted to?

Can you make a list of what both places offer you and your husband in terms of your happiness and than make a decision.

I left the city for an 'idyllic' seaside town in 2019. Bloody hated it, realised I'm a city person and that it was never going to work for me. Only you know if that's the case for you and if it is the upheaval is more than worth it. Every day when I wake up my first thought is thank f* I am back here. A bad day here is better than a good day where I was.

There is of course a third option.......find somewhere new that suits you both better and have an adventure.

What does your husband want?

My husband is very laid back, which is great. But that means decisions are left to me. He likes being near nature and enjoys the quite. If he moves he asks there be a green space nearby.

I love this option, but my husband is risk averse. We are very fortunate, his parents have offered land beside there house where we could build. I've had a dream of running a small holding, and building en eco house.

I think you need to find a different idyllic village that's not full of arseholes.