Family wants me to give up my social house and I'm not - wwyd?

[spicy2001]

I currently rent a three bedroom social housing property and I live on my own. Most of the rent is paid for by universal credit and I have to pay 25% bedroom tax which is very affordable to me which is for two rooms and a shortfall of £30.55p.

I did speak to a housing officer and they said I am legally allowed to occupy it, and as long as I pay the rent on time, tax and shortfall, then everything is fine. I don't feel guilty for occupying this three bedroom house, it's been my home since I was born.

Recently, I noticed that my family were talking a lot about me downsizing. I asked why are they talking about me downsizing? They said because I don't need this property and have to downsize.

I explained I'm legally allowed to stay here, this is my property and not yours. I get that I don't need this property but I'm staying here because I'm allowed too. I found out that they actually joined a site called "home swapper" and a site called "glass bob" my sibling set up an account using her email address to advertise my property. If I'm correct, I've never joined these so I don't know 100% but they're platforms where you can do mutual exchange and advertise your property.

I phoned my housing association and explained the situation, they've started an investigation and they are speaking to various departments to see if they can do it from the end to see if they can do anything as they approved it but they don't know if they can disapprove it.

The other day a tenant from another part of my cul-de-sac came round and told me she knows I'm downsizing and she has a friend whose currently living in a one bedroom flat with his wife and they've got a one year old daughter and another baby on the way. I explained to this person my family have been trying to get me to downsize to a one bedroom flat and I'm not actually looking to downsize so I won't swap with them but told her I do sympathize with their situation.

She told all my neighbours about her friend and now all the neighbours are peed off at me because I'm not downsizing. My family are also peed of that I'm not downsizing. As far as I'm concerned I don't care as I have the legal right to stay here for as long as I like or want.

I just wanted to know though what would you do if you was in my situation?

The "right to family life" is a few words we wrote on a piece of paper, it's hardly a universal human right that supersedes all practical reality

Certainly as far as the law is concerned family life is a right in the sense that the state must not interfere with it (except for a few good reasons). If you want to reproduce go for it, the government will not stand in your way.

It's not a right in the sense that the state must positively facilitate and finance it!

'the state' is us as a society and yes we must as a society ensure everyone has decent homes with enough resources for a decent family life.
Anything else would be appalling.

The point is that we live in a very wealthy society with plenty of resources to go round, so no one should be unable to feed their child. You can't ask us not to have children (for many of us this is, after all, the purpose of life) because resources aren't distributed fairly.

And individuals should take responsibility for their actions. Not a very British philosophy, I admit. But there you go.

Why is it up to someone else to feed your child that you chose to have? (I don't mean you in particular just the collective you). Having kids is ultimately a choice. Nobody is aaking you not to have them.

I am not denying that we live in a wealthy society, I agree with you there. How should resources be distributed? How do you propose that this would work?

How many kids constitute a "decent family life" ?

1 ? 2? 5? 10? or 20?

Not having sold off affordable housing. Now that's done, it might mean building more, if that can be done in an environmentally sustainable way, and bringing in rent caps for private rentals, repossessing all the empty homes for council housing.

Yes, I do believe we should all support one another as human beings and of course we should all pay for our society's children to flourish. That should surely go without saying.

And for some having children is a 'choice,' but it is actually a drive, an instinct, and the basis of the existence of humanity, and for many, many of us life is unbearable without that choice. It's a bit disingenuous and quite offensive to talk as if it's an accessory or extra, rather than fundamental to humanity. And quite childish and tiresome.

Weird question. What do you think?!

Exactly. Those who caused the lack of affordable housing should take responsibility, not try to blame the people left in difficult circumstances as a result.

And this is what's wrong with social housing. Regardless of whether you can afford it, you're living in a house designed to accommodate a family. I get that it's your home but social housing is supposed to house the maximum number of people requiring it. You don't own the house and IMO, you should be made to exchange it for a smaller property.

I'm appalled that your family is doing this to you, op. You've spoken to the housing association who are fine with you staying put so what is the problem? Putting your home up for grabs on the internet is outrageous! Many people would prosecute them for that, I doubt you will, all credit to you.

You move when you're ready and not before. If you're studying you are not likely to want too much upheaval, especially not moving out of the home in which you grew up. In time you can buy your own place and stick two fingers up to the jealous lot of them. If you did 'downsize', it would hardly be of benefit to your relatives anyway.

Just get on with your life for the time being and good luck to you.

Social housing wasn't meant to house the maximum number requiring it, because sane people know that family sizes change over the years and that it's not acceptable to force people through the immense emotional stress and upheaval and cost of moving home every time there's a change. That would be absurd.

That's all very well in theory but the fact is the op is not currently being made to move somewhere smaller despite being honest with the HA. Therefore I don't think it's unreasonable for her to hang on as long as she can, particularly as she is studying. She pays what she has to pay which is more than a lot of tenants do, ask the council housing department and housing associations how many run up huge arrears. In time she will be able to buy a place of her own, at the moment she needs a bit of looking after. We should not be making judgments of her on this situation, she hasn't been devious.

You shouldn't be having children if you can't afford to feed them, unfair on the children being forced to grow up in poverty with little chance to flourish. Selfish beyond belief and on top it to expect others that work hard to have to pay for your poor choices

Hrm lots of people in poverty work.

Re having kids, if you're in social housing already you won't get rehoused to a larger property just because you tell the council/HA you're going to have a baby. The kid's got to be born and be a year old before they'll let you start bidding on two bedroom properties. And if you are in social housing with all the stability that comes from that you'd be crackers to leave it at the point you got pregnant. Hence why families end up overcrowded in one bedroom places.

@NoPrivateSpy well that was a rude post. No need to name call just because someone has a different opinion.

Easy if you have lots of money not so if your renting on benefits

In an ideal world people would all live in homes suited to their family size. They would all have landlords who maintain properties to a high standard, no mold, efficient to heat etc ..and you could stay there until you want to move. But having worked with several families with young children who privately rent you don't find good landlords easily, they end contracts so children are uprooted from homes and schools some every 6 months....that's not good for anyone.
The system needs sorting it won't be I'm sure many saying you should move are home owners who get the choice not renters.

@jannier But the op is the single occupant in a family home. It’s one reason why there is a shortage of social housing. Apart from not building it of course.

It might interest some posters to know that housing associations borrow money to build. They are not magic money trees. In villages that need a few homes they buy the land at non housing prices. That means a benevolent land owner. Or they build x number of units on a commercial site. None of this is money without cost to them. They take a very long term view over return on the money. Therefore they are not like private landlords who are paying mortgages. It is a complex business, building homes and sadly lots of communities simply don’t want more homes in their area!

I’ve read the phrase “morals won’t keep me fed and warm” recently and it makes a lot of sense in a society where all the systems are broken.

I do think you’re making it harder for yourself by telling everyone your business though.

"I do think you’re making it harder for yourself by telling everyone your business though."

The OPs family forced her into that