Family wants me to give up my social house and I'm not - wwyd?

[spicy2001]

I currently rent a three bedroom social housing property and I live on my own. Most of the rent is paid for by universal credit and I have to pay 25% bedroom tax which is very affordable to me which is for two rooms and a shortfall of £30.55p.

I did speak to a housing officer and they said I am legally allowed to occupy it, and as long as I pay the rent on time, tax and shortfall, then everything is fine. I don't feel guilty for occupying this three bedroom house, it's been my home since I was born.

Recently, I noticed that my family were talking a lot about me downsizing. I asked why are they talking about me downsizing? They said because I don't need this property and have to downsize.

I explained I'm legally allowed to stay here, this is my property and not yours. I get that I don't need this property but I'm staying here because I'm allowed too. I found out that they actually joined a site called "home swapper" and a site called "glass bob" my sibling set up an account using her email address to advertise my property. If I'm correct, I've never joined these so I don't know 100% but they're platforms where you can do mutual exchange and advertise your property.

I phoned my housing association and explained the situation, they've started an investigation and they are speaking to various departments to see if they can do it from the end to see if they can do anything as they approved it but they don't know if they can disapprove it.

The other day a tenant from another part of my cul-de-sac came round and told me she knows I'm downsizing and she has a friend whose currently living in a one bedroom flat with his wife and they've got a one year old daughter and another baby on the way. I explained to this person my family have been trying to get me to downsize to a one bedroom flat and I'm not actually looking to downsize so I won't swap with them but told her I do sympathize with their situation.

She told all my neighbours about her friend and now all the neighbours are peed off at me because I'm not downsizing. My family are also peed of that I'm not downsizing. As far as I'm concerned I don't care as I have the legal right to stay here for as long as I like or want.

I just wanted to know though what would you do if you was in my situation?

Pft. If the OP is telling the truth and everything is as she’s claimed, then no, she shouldn’t give up this house and move. As a PP has pointed out, she sounds young, has lost a parent and is thinking of applying to uni. It makes zero sense on any level to give up a 3 bed property now, when in the future she might well need that space if her plans change. I’d be kicking myself if I did the ‘morally correct’ thing and gave up the property only to need it a few years down the line if I had a family of my own.

Plus there are so many unknowns in swapping: new neighbours, new area etc. why risk it? People’s houses are their homes, none of you with your sneering about morals would jump at the chance to leave your homes in order for somebody you deem more deserving to live in it: you have no claim on her home, just because you think you somehow pay for it. Snobbery at its finest.

And the OP has never had to experience private renting or soaring mortgage interest rates. Swings and roundabouts isn't it.

OP from an earlier post you said you'll be 30 in 10 years time, is that correct? At first I thought you were older with the wording you used like saying you had lived there since birth etc. When my nan passed away, my lovely uncle who was born and lived in the house for over 50 years did not have any rights to keep renting the house and ended up in a 1 bed flat. The house, a 3 bedroom one where all my uncles and aunties were raised and we all have childhood memories going back to the last 30s when my grandparents moved into the house, went to a family and rightfully so. We were all gutted to see it go but would have been morally wrong for my uncle to carry on living there despite it being a family home for all those decades.

OP, I was kind of with you until this comment. You don’t want to be judged so don’t judge others. I don’t think you are in a position to do that.

You are entitled to stay in the house, I think the best thing you can do is keep your financial circumstances to yourself in future with neighbours. And don’t cast judgment on anyone else’s circumstances. You must admit you are lucky to be there. You are in a good position.

There are a few points of view to choose here, but to me, the main advantage of a social housing system is that people can feel secure in their homes when in a vulnerable financial position. OP is quite young, has no supportive parent, her family/siblings are actively disrupting her security, she is asking for advice and being torn to pieces for being 'immoral ' taking a home someone else deserves more. I just wonder how these aggressive posters would deal with this situation in her place. It is not OPs responsibility to fix the housing problem, it is working as it should in her case.

Absolutely you should downsize and if you were my family I would be telling you as much too! You have no need at all for a 3 bedroom property. Social housing is a benefit and should be means tested. I wouldn’t be allowed to claim child benefits for 3 children if I only had 1 child, why should you be allowed to claim 3 bedrooms when you only need 1? Not your fault granted, it’s the fault of this stupid government making the system so unfair. But you should not be in that house.

Oooo nearly ticked off my bingo book

SH is fuck all and has never been fuck all to do with benefits.

Christ, that's dafter than free house.

Got to get a full house soon. Proper good un this ones been..

Your family have behaved really weirdly in advertising your home but they have a point. You might legally be allowed to stay there but you don't need a three bed house for one person, I'm actually shocked you're even allowed to take up so much space in social housing when there's families in one bed flats, if you had any sense of morality whatsoever you would give it up to someone more in need

At the moment Op has security of tenure which these days is not to be sniffed at and she has already said she intends to downsize in the future. I grew up in a 1950s build three bed semi. Brilliant large garden but the bedrooms were not that big and the third one, the box room was not really a bedroom at all. Why should she feel morally obliged to move? My parents did that when I moved out and ended up in a terrible area and a much less nice house with barely a garden. Personally unless Op was buying I would stay precisely where I was and tell your family to do one.

Omg
Op
Definitely do not give up your house
How would it help if you gave up your house and then you struggled to pay for a private rental
And now are homeless or struggling?
Ridiculous
The government needs to fix the cost of living crises
I was under occupying by 1 room
And guess what, I had a child
Imagine i gave it up and now having to look everywhere for a bigger property
Forget that!
I spent years paying bedroom tax and now I don't

@TiredandHungry19 so fraud is a really bad thing unless its against a social housing tenant

Wow!! I'm just gobsmacked that your family would behave this way!! This is totaly unacceptable and I'm sure people have disowned family members for less than this.

If OP actually had to pay for her own house out of her own income (either via mortgage or rent at a market rate), she would find that she couldn't live in the house she wants to live in. In the same way that I'd like to live in a nice big three-bedroomed house, but I can't afford to.

Give that there does have to be a safety net for people who genuinely can't afford their housing costs, it bloody well ought to compel single people in three-bedroom properties to move to something smaller if a family needs housing. You shouldn't have a choice if the taxpayer is paying for it.

If I were you… I’d buy it!
And fuck the family off too!
Maybe get a lodger or friend to move in and help you save up for it?

Why because she's not feckless?

It is though £300-£700 a month for a 3 bed in Bristol compared to the £1400 rental market

I have a friend, currently in a three bed HA house, who has been on the waiting list to downsize for 6 and a half years. Her particular HA sold off most of its one and two bed properties years ago, as they were not what the majority of tenants required.

Short answer: if I was in your situation I would stay put.

Sometimes we get lucky in life and you have to grab your luck and hold onto it not give it away.

But that isn’t OPs problem she’s required to solve. Her primary responsibility is to herself, and she would be foolish to disadvantage herself in the name of ‘mumsnet poster thinks I’m immoral’.

Legally she’s in the clear and has done nothing wrong. As far as morality goes, that’s her judgement call to make. What mumsnetters consider to be immoral is not something she needs to pay the slightest bit of attention to.

I just wanted to know though what would you do if you was in my situation?
Tell everyone to mind their own god damm business!
Whether anyone thinks you should downsize or not is irrelevant. You are allowed to be in that home so carry on.

Your family sound extremely twatty - I would certainly go NC with them.

As for the moral issue - look after number 1, because if you can't do that, you certainly can't look after anyone else and that includes earning a living and paying taxes that help run the country.

I doubt very much that many of the 'you're immoral, move immediately' people would actually do so if they were in your situation.

It would mean finding the costs involved in moving. Finding a property in the right place, 1 beds are in short supply. It would mean living in closer proximity to people, without a garden, few people would choose that, choosing to reduce their living standards and quality of life for moral reasons.

Also if you're paying the bedroom tax, your UC is paying what it would pay if you were in a 1 bed property. So you're not being 'funded by the taxpayer' any more than you would be in a smaller property.

Social housing rents are lower than market rate because the market rate is massively inflated. Not because they're only for subsidised poor people!

I bought mine (2 bed), then I sold it, probably to a property developer. I don't care, the local authority had the opportunity to buy it back and didn't. I had an opportunity, one I badly needed, so I took it. It has meant I own property outright, which given my ability to service a mortgage (or indeed to be allowed one at all) is basically nil, was really important to me.

Stay put until you have choices and can make a move that benefits you.

I knew this thread would ruffle feathers!

This is a really unpleasant thread. The OP is young, has lost a parent, and has an assured tenancy on the house in which she grew up, and is clearly not yet ready to leave - and an assured tenancy is something you need to think twice about giving up, given that there is a long waiting list for smaller properties, and little choice when it comes to area and neighbours, what would you all like her to do ? Move out into the rental market and have UC paying even more in rent contribution ? The OP isn’t ‘feckless’, she works full time on minimum wage, and is going to uni, so planning a better life for herself. In the meantime she’s doing nothing wrong, paying her way as much a she can and UC pays her rent.

Oh, and she didn’t ask for moral judgement from people who are comfortable in their own homes and have no idea of what social housing involves. She asked for advice on dealing with her family, who sound like a bunch of jealous arseholes. Personally I’d be involving the police because it sounds like identity theft is at play if they’ve opened accounts in her name.

It is designed to ruffle feathers. New poster, benefits scrounger bingo.

What does she expect people to say, assuming she is genuine. This is such a manufactured dilemma. No dilemma at all. Just lap it up, OP. Life of Riley it is.

Yeah funny how breaking the law with identity theft is ok if its against a social housing tenant