Suffolk coast - unfriendly or just me?

[Swiftie23]

Hi everyone, basically what the title says. We relocated here (DH’s family is local and from here, all based between 10-30 mins from Southwold). The village we moved to is gorgeous and very special, but the reception from the villagers has been a bit strange. One neighbour is actually hostile and the others treat us with bemusement, we’ve even found shopkeepers and tradesmen to be downright rude on occasion. The atmosphere is just off, and we’re not sure what we can do, we have gotten involved and helped out in the village, but not helping much. From what my DH says, Suffolk is renowned for being unfriendly to holiday letters but we live here permanently. We are also struggling to meet people our age (average age seems to be about 60/70), which isn’t a huge issue since we have family and see our friends often, but would be nice to have some local friends we could have dinner parties with etc.

Has anyone else experienced something similar when moving to Suffolk? Any tips?

We had it a bit when we moved to the country. Keep being polite and happy, go with the political flow and eventually they will grudgingly accept you.

I've gone from being "a f'in Londoner" to "you are alright, not like the others" in just a couple of years.

I'm not even a Londoner.

Hi,
I don't live on the Suffolk coast, but it is one place in the UK where I have felt very unwelcome. We visited Aldeburgh and a few other towns along that coast in February. We asked one of the shop workers at the till which pub would be good to go to, and she proceeded to rant to us about all the Londoners et cetera. I get it, I'm Cornish, and my home town has so many visitors. But I would never openly bitch to someone about them.

We then got chatting in a pub to someone who was perfectly nice. Sat in the other room of the bar, and could overhear his conversation. A group of locals were bitching about visitors, holiday home owners, people not from there.

There were a few nice people for sure, but overall I found people to be very cold and distant. And to be frank, I don't think I'll ever return. Yeah there were some nice old buildings, but there are far nicer beaches elsewhere, and we found the whole place a tad boring (it was Februrary!). Quite frankly we couldn't see why people were so uppity about the local area...

We had similar on Skye- but not the actual locals, who were very friendly and gracious, it was [some not all] of the permanent-dweller incomers who were not so nice. And the worst were [some not all of] the tourists who were Scots, it seemed because we sounded English, though not at all posh- it was a sensitive time, just after the indyref. Ironically, my ancestry in Scotland probably goes back at least as far if not further than theirs, and if I'd been living in Scotland I'd probably have voted for independence and I completely support the right of Scotland to do as it chooses, so even their silly grudge was based on nonsense, but there you go. Some people are just a bit shitty, don;t have enough to do, and are always on the lookout for something to be shitty about.
I have worked all over the UK, and I find most people are friendly if you make the effort to make the first move. The easiest places to fit in are those where it's the tradition to make people welcome and be friendly, of course- my bit of NE Lancs is like that, especially if you like the place and say so. But even here you will find some sourpusses. And some new people might find the friendly approach here a bit intrusive- people are genuinely interested in and curious about you, they might seem nosey or over-familiar if you weren't used to it.

Yes I tend to agree with you OP. We went to Woodbridge on holiday, and found the locals very unfriendly. We are originally from SE England, so whether they thought we were Londoners or 2nd home owners who knows, but definitely very unfriendly towards us. We also visited various other places including Southwold. We were thinking of moving to Suffolk, but it really put us off. We moved to Norfolk, the difference is night and day, found people to be on the whole very friendly, open and accepting. No regrets, love living in Norfolk.

Love how people talk about fucking Londoners invading the holiday spots at certain times of the year. They want to try living and commuting in London, it’s full of tourists every single bloody day!!!

ain't that the truth!

Yes and their poxy little towns would be in ruins without the tourist dollar 💰

I live just outside Southwold. Give it some time- there are lovely people here but they need to realise you’re not just a weekender and not a tourist, and it takes longer than you think. (I found church friends took a while for example- was going every week and no one said hello, which seemed odd, but it’s because they’re so used to new faces with all the tourists).

What do you like to do? There’s loads going on so maybe join a few clubs- arts, sport etc etc.

Actually that’s not true , I live pretty close to where the OP is. Most of the tourists either bring their shopping , or Ocado or use Waitrose. They take houses often that locals have been outbid on because they are downsizing and they don’t use local services like buses , milk deliveries, schools etc and so these either get shut down or stop the service to the village. Suffolk is not Cornwall we do have an economy outside tourism.

OP hang in there , people can be a bit blunt here but generally we are a friendly bunch. They may think you are about to ‘build in your garden ‘ , did you outbid a local for the house , that can cause upset ( my mum had a bit of this when she moved up but once people realised she was happy to bake cakes for local events and join in it was fine) .

You need to run on Suffolk time. Things are just slower. Once you've been living there a while, you'll be fine. Suffolk people are generally very accepting and laid back.

There are problems along the coastline though with incomers and second homes pricing out locals. Wages lag way behind the cost of housing, much like the South West I suppose, and then in winter, some of the towns are half empty.

Its easy to see why there is resentment. Income used to be fishing and agriculture. It must be hard to have to rely on income from the very thing that is destroying your community.

Actually that’s not true , I live pretty close to where the OP is. Most of the tourists either bring their shopping , or Ocado or use Waitrose. They take houses often that locals have been outbid on because they are downsizing and they don’t use local services like buses , milk deliveries, schools etc and so these either get shut down or stop the service to the village. Suffolk is not Cornwall we do have an economy outside tourism.

I live in another major tourist area, and there is definitely truth in that but..tourists do sustain the hospitality industry and a lot of small niche businesses - it ain't the locals buying over-priced knick-knacks from souvenir shops.

Also, there are very few people who never go anywhere for leisure purposes - we are all tourists and we are all locals. The same locals who are self-righteous about incomers in Cornwall, Suffolk and my area are themselves tourists when they travel elsewhere. They are doing exactly the same in other areas as the tourists whose behaviour they whinge about - hiring AirBnBs etc.

What are you doing to get involved in the community? We lived in a small village in Suffolk for several years ... absolutely loved it but we threw ourselves into the local community, helped out, organised events, fund raised, went to Church, joined the Parish Council etc etc. Like with anywhere, you have to make the effort and not just assume you will bump into like minded people of the same age who enjoy dinner parties ... embrace friendships with people of all ages and different interests.

The Cornish economy is roughly 1/3 tourism related. According to their Tourist Board. I would suggest Suffolk is far less but has hot spots.

I think people assume local status by proxy. We have friends who are not from Cornwall but retired very early to live the “good life” and are more Cornish than the Cornish in attitude. They are incomers though. Well off incomers are the new locals. They have bought houses some years ago (or been left them by relatives) and they don’t see they have denied anyone local getting a house. It’s always someone else. Im not sure you can rely on “locals” being Suffolk born and bred. In my tiny village in the home counties, no one, except DH and me come from round here. The incomers are very vocal though!

Friends who moved to Suffolk went to church and actively helped out. Made friends with other parents at school. Do you have school age DC? Joined the pta and local groups and activities, eg sailing club . Look at sports clubs. Always shopped locally. Used local services etc.

Every coastal area in the uk plus places like the Lake District snd the Cotswolds has incomers, holiday homes and expensive property. Is any new social housing property built? No of course not. Localized Incomers do not want such spoiling of their chosen piece of paradise. So there is a housing shortage. The locals sold up to those wanting holiday homes. Hope you do make friends. You need to actively seek them out. But it takes time.

A friend lived in Woodridge for years and years and always said it was unfriendly but I admit I never quite believed her. She's now moved and is a lot happier. Maybe she was right, then. Oooos!

We moved to a very affluent village on the Norfolk coast. The actual locals are lovely. The second home owners who spend a lot of time up there are cliquey, up themselves and can be downright rude.

So the locals are wary of newcomers as they don’t know which group they fit into.

It’s actually gone in my favour as I made the effort in the village and just treated everyone with respect. They know I’m her to stay and a good part of the community and have been granted the holy grail of locals discount in the pub.

I live not far from you OP. It's definitely very unfriendly. I'm used to it now though.

It is a bit unfriendly in my experience. And as Pp said I don't really get why, because without the tourism the towns would collapse.
Plus I don't even think the coastline is all that. And Southwold is probably one of the most overrated places I've ever been!

You just have to give it Time I guess Op and keep doing what you're doing. It's not you, it's them!

Should have moved to framlingham - lovely here!

Absolutely! I love that people want to visit where I live and happy to help anybody who needs it.

Nowt so queer as folk.

That's cuz it's full of Detectorists 😉

I don’t think that people are unfriendly it’s more that they aren’t gushy or overtly chatty. We have always found people to be kind and courteous, someone left a home baked loaf on our step when we moved in, but they are not going to be gushing away about their lives with you. If they come to mend the taps that is what they will do, they won’t tell you about their holiday, dogs , children or ask you about yours. In a crisis though we have found people emerge from the shadows !

It’s not a theme park it’s people’s home. You just have to accept people for who they are and not who you want them to be. are you sure that you don’t give off ‘we are super friendly and bountiful people from London and you need to be more friendly and change your ways vibes’ however unintentionally ?

It's a local town for local people

There are friendlier places than Suffolk that's for sure

I moved to a village in Suffolk and lived there for many years, I made some fantastic friends and people were very welcoming. There was, however, a layer of 'local' that I was aware of but never quite managed to get in with. The ones who would say hello to you when out walking but never stopped for a chat like 99% of the others did. It never bothered me because everyone else was so friendly but I can see how unpleasant it would be if the majority were like that.

In many areas of the country the locals know who they are. They don’t need anyone else. Family are probably still close and friends from primary school whose parents also went to that school. They have been living and working in the area for generations. No incomer can be them because they don’t have the connections to the locality. They don’t have the gravestones in the churchyard or on the war memorial. Other incomers not being friendly is very different but they pretend to be “local” but without the history and connections. So pretty sad really!