I want to move house but for no real reason

[WhyAmITired]

I know I'm being completely ridiculous and ungrateful. We have an objectively lovely house. Good location, decent size, some nice Victorian styling. Expensive mortgage but not currently unaffordable.

I just... want to move. It's like an itch that needs to be scratched. I am obsessed by house websites. I don't feel settled in the house. It needs a few things done but I don't make any progress with them 'because we might move'

DH doesn't want to move. He's pretty stubborn so it's 99.99% certainty we won't be moving. I know this, but I dream anyway. There's nothing wrong with where we live just now so why am I dreaming? Am I just a bit bored?

Has anyone felt like this? Feel free to give me a virtual smack around the chops and tell me to be grateful with what we have (I am! I think)

You don’t have to be grateful but my god as someone in the middle of doing it - moving house is an absolute nightmare! We’re TWO YEARS into trying to move house. From the cleaning for the open days through to the wasted thousands of pounds on stamp duty through to nothing on the market through to chasing administrative issues - you’re in such a dream scenario.

So I would say - find a way to romanticise your current house. Stay on property websites but use them as a way to get inspiration for your current house. It sounds like you’re bored and restless - overhaul your current house! Redecorate! Extend! Book some holidays! Swap Rightmove for Pinterest and stop seeing things that “need to be done” in your house and start seeing mini projects where you get to make an impact on the way you live. Definitely, definitely don’t move for the sake of it.

Yep, I occasionally get that itch. Then I do a stamp duty calculation and remind myself why I love where I live and the itch goes away. Doesn’t stop me looking a nice properties online though…

Yes - stamp duty! Good reminder.

I think I know deep down I'd feel like this after a while living anywhere.

Ok - Pinterest it is.

I’m the absolute same. If I’m not moving house I’m moving jobs or starting new things. I feel like if I’m not in motion I’m stuck. But scratch that itch through renovation because moving is HELL

You don't stay in a relationship because there's nothing wrong with your partner, you stay because you love them and most of their features. Should be the same for a house ideally! Maybe, as a compromise, a move is possible in 5 years rather than now?

Before I was married I'd move every couple of years. Since I had kids I've lived in two houses for 8 years each, and a couple for only 18 months each. The one I'm in now coming up to 20 months and I plan on staying for the foreseeable. I have a small flat closer to central London that I'll probably move to once the kids are on stable ground financially (I rely on the rent currently).
But I still have a rightmove habit and my favourite magazine is London which is all about property.

No, but if you need a reason I find that moving really helps with kondoing your stuff.

Have a good rearrange or do some decorating?! I get that itch (moved a lot when young) and I just have to go wild and refresh the house and paint a few things, it helps scratch it!

I feel the same, my lovely house ticks every box on most peoples wanted list, I can’t fault it, it is large, detached in a lovely area, and we have completely remodelled and extended it to exactly to my taste and to top it all we are mortgage free, but I have lived here for 22 years and I need a change, I don’t want to redecorate the same walls for the umpteenth time, I’m so bored! I think I want a new area to explore as well so moving area is high up on my list, however despite looking for the past couple of years I can count on one hand houses that I would move to. My husband wants us to wait until we retire so we can pick an area of our choice and buy a completely different style of house. I know he’s right financially but that means I will have been in the same house for nearly 35 years! 😱😱

Occasionally feel it with my house but never made the leap in 20 years.
The moving is such a hassle! Pps are so right on that one. How about doing bits to it as well as Kondo-ing, and maybe 'staging' it for viewings?
You'll either fall back in love with it, or it will seem less hassle to sell (which might be why DH doesn't want to move?)

You could just stuff massive amounts of cash into an envelope and mail it to me instead.

moving is expensive. There is no way around it. I would look for a life project to give you focus. It could even be a house project, but since that will cement you to your current local even further, maybe start with something else just in case.

We're on our 5th family house in 18 years. I would move every year if I could. I hate the whole process of moving but love the excitement of being somewhere new. I'm addicted to Rightmove. We're in our dream house now but I could still move tomorrow. My dh never wants to move again... we'll see!

Moving costs a fortune in agency fees, stamp duty, removal, new carpets, curtains, decorating etc. It's super stressful. It's of course great and worth doing if you can afford to move to a significantly better location/better/bigger house or to a better job/lifestyle, but just moving from 1 house to a basically similar one in a similar area just for the sake of it sounds like sado masochism.

I’ve been in my house 28 years. It needs rewiring, replastering in some areas, central heating updating, some windows need replacing. I can’t afford to do these jobs…. But I don’t want to move. It’s an ordinary enough house but easy to live in and well located. Cannot imagine how to motivate myself to move, or where to move to.

Plan a holiday. I think I probably have this https://www.verdict.co.uk/drd4-7r-wanderlust-gene/ and you might too.

We just crave change and adventure.

Thank you all, I like hearing everyone's different thoughts.

I have loads of ideas of things I'd do the house but we've just decided to start a bit of an economy drive so money is tighter. Plans for the loft conversion, sun room, landscaping etc all have to go on hold. I could maybe do some furniture re-jigging and the odd spot of painting. Also kondo-ing although that's a lifetime project.

Possibly part of it is the feeling of groundhog day, 3 young children means a lot of time spent in the same 4 walls picking up the same toys, scrubbing the same suspect stain from the same sofa, sweeping under the same table 3 times a day... You get the gist 😁

Sound advice! Familiarity often leads to indifference & we mismeasure the value of what we have or don't have but when we acquire the next 'thing' the certain longed for state of mind never quite arrives.
'Things are often better when hoped for than when obtained ' It's a stoical point of view but still v applicable today I think!

I know this feeling. I also have 3 young kids and spend quite a lot of time at home. We probably will move at some vague point in the future as we can’t give the kids a bedroom each (only planned 1/2 kids but 2 & 3 are twins) but they’re still tiny so it’s not pressing right now. I love our house and we have good neighbours, convenient for school and activities etc but there’s “nicer” areas I dream about living in.

I think part of it is like you say, you end up looking at the same mess at home and all the houses on Rightmove are clutter free and presented at their best. Part of it is also boredom. I have a shortlist of “future” properties I would go look at! I’ve even checked out EPCs, garden sizes, you name it.

What has helped me is finding holiday cottages! And I spent a while researching static caravans with no intention of buying one- I just liked watching the virtual yours. And decluttering/selling/donating has become a bit of a project now for me.

We move a lot-sometimes for good reason and sometimes just because. If you can afford it then it’s fine.
But you do need to both agree. Fortunately for me DH likes a move as much as me. We are in house 5 in 10 years (2 were rentals though as we relocated twice).

Finally in the right home though now. Itch scratched!

Did you move a lot as a child? Maybe it's just a sort of learned behaviour.

We really ought to move but I can't be bothered with the hassle and cost and I've put it down to living in only 2 homes as a child and this is my second as an adult. Moving isn't ingrained in me so I fight doing it

The kids will still make a mess in the new house, except you were planning on leaving them behind. And money for doing up the new house (and once the owners furniture are out, every house will need some doing up) will even be tighter once you paid all the associated costs. The kids will be grown up soon, I'd wait to move somewhere exciting when you don't have to worry about catchment area and children's rooms and can decorate and furnish your house just like you fancy.

I used to really enjoy ( well, sort of) moving when I was younger. I consciously looked for houses or flats which I could improve ( I was home based worker at a time when that was quite unusual) so I would fit in decorating etc around paid jobs. We made a reasonable turn on most of them.

Once we had moved out of London, it seemed to come down to seven years and we’d be looking for somewhere new, not just boredom but because our needs and wants changed. I’ve always enjoyed the ‘chase’!