Move across country with toddler - how did you do it?

[Soniarc]

Hello!

My DH and I are considering moving from North Manchester (Prestwich) to East Sussex (Crowborough, for example) next year. But just thinking of all the logistics involved is doing my head in, as we have a 16 month old. If you’ve done something like this, how did you do it?

Should we sell and move to rent in East Sussex for a bit to make sure we are close to view properties quickly?

How do you know what we can afford if I don’t know what my current house will sell at? I got an estimate for £250k, but that would have dipped because it was from last November.

Do mid-term rentals exist? It just seems like such a faff to move twice and put everything in storage until we find the right home.

Can we have a clause in our contract that says that we won’t move out of our old home until we’ve found a new one?

How did you do it with nurseries? Where we are, there’s waiting lists that are months, if not a year, long. Did you wait until they were old enough for pre-school? I believe that’s the term they turn 3? I’m not from the Uk so education is still confusing to me here.

How did you manage the actual logistics of a long-distance move with a toddler, and a cat?

Do you sell your property first and then look for one to buy? Or put in an offer first and then sell your house?

How did you manage viewings? Taking the train every time I see a house I like is going to be very expensive and time-consuming. We also both have full-time, high-demand jobs so would only be able to go on weekends. Or we would take a week off and get down there and do as many viewings as we could.

For those in East Sussex - looking for somewhere that’s max 30-minute drive to Heathfield (where in-laws are), on a train line. Must be safe, good schools obviously a plus. The more rural the better, but with a good commute into London. Tunbridge wells is a bit out of our budget, as we are looking for a 4-bed detached for £550-600k. Uckfield or Crowborough are on the list so far.

Help!!!!!

We are not in exactly the same boat, but are currently doing viewings at a location just over an hour away with a 2 year old.
we have stacked up the viewings every 2 weeks so we see 7-10 properties on a Saturday.
Sometimes we drop the toddler to grandparents as it’s quite tricky dragging them along!

Houses do seem to hang about for a few weeks in the current market, so you can probably book them in advance…

If the in-laws know the area, and you like them well enough to move near to them, would you trust them to help with your house hunt and maybe screen properties for you? When there are three or four possibilities, then is the time for you to drive down and look at them (or for one of you to do so, if the toddler doesn't do long journeys).

Nurseries are an issue but no more than schools are when moving with older children.... you just have to accept you might not get first choice. At least you only have one child and it won't be in nursery forever.

Everything else you've mentioned is like any normal move. It always sucks, even if you're only moving to the next street. You just have to get on with it. No problem is insurmountable.

Re: knowing what you can afford, you need to get several valuations on your property to have an idea.
We then had a mortgage advisor check our salary documents and offer up some mortgage options - this gave us our mortgage Agreement In Principle.

Of course, if you end up selling for less, you would have to offer less (to borrow within the same amount), but that is also an indication of the current market.

Over two months we have viewed a whole range of properties from the cheaper end to the more aspirational end, this has given us a good knowledge of the area and what you can get where!

We did this when now adult child was 18 months old (and I was pregnant). Moved from Scotland to South Coast of England. Put house on market spent 2 weekends in England looking at houses, offered on the one we liked. Sold house in Scotland, put furniture into storage (used same company to pack, move, store then move) then moved in with family for 4 weeks until we could move into our house. Had to break the 10 hour car journey many times for food, play and a run around!

We rented first.

Good thing about renting is it can be a stop gap, so doesn’t need to be perfect.

We had a couple of nights away over a weekend in new location, looked round lots of areas and chose village we wanted to be in.
When we were ready to move, DH went to village, stayed overnight, looked at 4 or 5 suitable rentals, picked one and applied for it. (I only saw photos).

Got rental, signed and picked up keys a couple of weeks before moving.

Webooked removal company, paid for them to pack everything.
On day of the move, I went with toddler to friend’s house for the night.
DH oversaw packing, then headed off with sleeping bag to new rental (6 hrs away), arrived in the middle of the night and slept on the floor in an empty room ready to open door to removal men when they arrived.
Toddler and I arrived mid afternoon, toddler’s room already unpacked.

We bought a house after renting for two years. We actually rented our house out too, we thought we’d be going back after two years, but decided to make the move permanent. Renting first allowed us to work out the best area to buy, it worked for us, but probably wouldn’t have done it like that if we’d actually known at the time it was a permanent move!

Thank you to everyone! Got some good nuggets of information. I really want to try to avoid renting 😩😩😩

@Soniarc local knowledge is the best knowledge and so renting would be a good idea to get to know the area you are choosing. Having relocated and bought a house we regretted it because there were things we didn't know that wouldn't come up on a search. Better to rent than get stuck with a house that you have bought and hate something about it. It also removes any issues with exchange and completion and the benefit is you can overlap the rental with the new house purchase meaning you can decorate, change carpets etc on an empty house before you move all your furniture in.

You can pay removals companies to unpack you, I am not sure why you would need to put your stuff in storage. If you are going down that route, removals show up with containers inside the van and load your things into that. It is expensive though and might be worth instead just having everything in the rental. See the rental as an investment into buying your future property with ease, on the doorstep to see houses, not tied to a buyer wanting a set date etc.

Due to the distance of one move the removal company stashed the van overnight so they could move us in at 8am the next morning rather than 8pm. We just slept on a blow up mattress.

As lovely as family is what they consider a good area might not be what you would consider a good area. I would take a week off work and go and stay in the area you want to live in or near it. Have a walk around, chat to people with young children especially if you are looking at schools. Dh approached a husband and wife dropping their child off to a school mid morning, asked them about it, they directed us to a better school a couple of miles away. Talk to dog walkers, they know loads and are usually friendly people and talk to pensioners.

If you can palm your toddler off onto the inlaws all the better. Talk to local estate agents also letting agents. We found letting agents were happy to tell us good and bad areas if we said we were buying so they had nothing to lose. I even had one mark out on a map where not to live. She was completely right. Smells from factories, cut through from football ground to where everyone parks their cars, not that street where the football crowd park their cars, that sort of thing. We have relocated 3 times. We are finally done.

I want to do this too. But only 2 hours away and we're struggling to navigate house viewings and potential new schools. We want to avoid renting too!

The admissions process is enough to halt the entire plan! It's awful and if we picked a house in the city we want to be, apparently the schools nearby are so over subscribed that we'd end up taking DC to schools at least 5 miles away! 😱

We're all keen to go though. Just have to battle through the stress of it all. We don't have family there so we can't stay with anyone for the short-term

Gahd. That sounds so stressful already. I’m aware that all problems can be overcome, but sim struggling with anxiety after a terrible winter healthwise, and it’s seemingly impacting big decisions. I just want to minimise the stress and hear from others that have done it, especially with childcare having 1-year long waiting lists like ours did here in Prestwich.

I did this during lockdown.

My daughter was just about to turn 3, we sold up and moved in with my parents and bought a new build.

She got registered to pre school from my parents address and she got a late entry place

Could moving in with in laws be an option?

Look at nurseries in your chosen area first and ask regarding writing lists. If they have long waiting lists, go onto the waiting list. Then get valuation and mortgage in principle in place and start marketing your house. You can't stay there after completion of contracts, but you have some control over when to complete, but if you let your buyer wait around they are likely to buy something else. It's easiest to rent first or stay with family in your chosen area, so you can easily view properties and choose something/area you truly like. You'll need to accept at least 6months letting vontract, often landlords want 12. Alternatives are Airb&b if you have domething lined up. Make sure you have a permanent address before school applications when your dc is 3!!! There is usually more choice about nurseries than schools, so try and move into a good catchment area before school applications for reception. For the actual move, leave keys with the movers and get a cleaning company and leave ahead of the removal van , planning in stops along route and taking with you drinks, toilet paper, potty, snacks, change of cloths, beddington, important documents and valuables etc.

Sadly not an option for us! They have a really cluttered house. Glad it worked for you though

We did this... grandparents were near by and could look after dc for a day but not overnight. I did a few house hunting trips on my own to get a feel for areas but then dp and I did one long day where we basically decided we would choose one of the 6 houses we would view that day whilst my mum looked after dc 😂 all planned in locations near enough to get into ok schools.

Research schools properly look at council/borough site for real distances. Also be aware of the January primary applications...if you apply late they can send you to any school as a late application. Tbh i would plan move if going to be a main one around getting in by school deadline.