How to cope better with neighbour noise - help!

[torgirl]

Just want to start this chat by saying I'm very aware that I am very noise sensitive which ties into my anxiety and PTSD.

For the last 10 or so years I've made sure I've rented rural detached properties (very small and cheap) that haven't had nearby neighbours as I know how much I hate it. However due to the recent rise in rents and energy bills and a fairly stagnant wage I've had to move in with my sister (still paying rent tho).

Her property is a 1970s terraced house in a small town. The walls seem pretty thin. Can hear noise very often from both sides, voices, doors slamming, DIY, etc. Plus both have young kids making lots of noise in the garden too.

Because of this I'm feeling utterly overwhelmed and very stressed and anxious with the noise. I'm very aware that none of the noise is the kind that can be complained about, it's just people living their lives but it absolutely drives me to distraction. It's a me problem, I know.

I already have a white noise machine and a fan in my bedroom but neither are helping. I cannot use earplugs or headphones as I have tinnitus and they both make it worse (also my audiologist has warned me against their use).

Basically I need to know how to care less about the noise. There are so many things I'd rather focus on, want to get on with and enjoy my life but this is just ruining my peace and making me very unhappy. Sadly moving is just not an option at the moment for financial reasons.

Any ideas with how to mentally cope with noise better?

Our neighbours are very loud. Their house is quite a bit smaller than ours and their garden is tiny. It really annoys me how loud they are. I have an air purifier going at night as well as a white noise app on my phone. I can't wear headphones either.

We are going to be having sound insulation put in the living room which should help as that's the worst room for them. In the meantime if I'm trying to relax then I put something relaxing on the telly like cricket or golf to drown out their noise. I couldn't sit in silence as they're constantly screaming and shouting (kids but the parents are loud too). As it's not your house, think about book shelves filled with books. The fitted wardrobes in the bedroom upstairs have worked a treat as sound insulation.

I'm a bit stuck on the garden to be honest. I have a water feature and I'm actually thinking of getting a few more to dot round the garden. Our garden is ten times the size of theirs but we just paid a fortune for a beautiful pergola seating area next to the shared hedge before they moved in and I don't see why we shouldn't use it. I have wind chimes up as well.

Best of luck. We didn't know how lucky we were with our lovely elderly neighbours before. He used to play the piano on an afternoon and I loved it 😪

I play white noise in my Google hub thind and it is great for drowning out traffic noise. It's a better sound tha my phone and covers it better.

We bought a loud water feature for the garden(I can see that has been suggested already). The loudest we could find is a blagdon affinity half moon.

I don't know how your anxiety works OP, but when you hear the noise and feel it brimming are you able to use any distraction techniques? The things I can see / touch / smell sort of ones? Sometimes I find doing that sort of mental exercise distracts me so I am sort of detached from whatever is causing the anxiety.

Is there anyway you'd be able to perhaps visit someone who can teach you some coping techniques at all?

I know you said no headphones, do you mean for playing music or just in general? Just wondering if a pair of good noise cancelling ones being worn but not playing any music might help deaden the noise you can hear?

This absolutely may not be a route you’re interested in, and apologies if so, but perhaps anxiety medication would help? I’ve used a low level dose of Citalopram before for a year or so and it helped me a lot with my anxiety symptoms (though noise sensitivity in particular wasn’t an issue).

Maybe it might be worth seeing another audiologist. Apparently there are headphones that can help with tinnitus rather than make it worse.

@Hopedun im sure your neighbours hate your wind chimes! they are a nusiance…

I have found the noise of a fan helpful to

@gelatogina don't worry they're so loud they won't notice! 6 people in a small 3 bed semi make a lot of noise.

Have a look at Flare Audio Calmer. They aren’t ear plugs, they sort of line the canal to reduce the jarring nature of sounds. They are also working with a tinnitus group as some people have reported that they actually help improve their tinnitus and Flare are trying to reseearch how/why.

I have noise hypersensitivity and I find they just help push unwanted noise away so I can ignore it.

I really sympathise OP. We live in a house with thin walls and a rental property next door and my peace of mind is utterly at the mercy of the changing tenants.

My suggestion might not suit your circumstances but one of the things that I've found helpful is getting to know the neighbours. Introduce yourself and get chatting. That way you're better placed to tackle any particular noise that upsets you in a casual way and possibly they can adjust without much inconvenience (they might not be aware.) But also, I've found that just knowing the people makes the noise less of an irritant. Being able to think, 'oh that's x, letting off steam in the garden because he doesn't like school much' or whatever, makes it easier. (It doesn't always work - we've had lovely neighbours who worked in hospitality, and them being super-nice wasn't that much consolation when they came in and played music at 2am!)

You have my sympathy OP, I developed a lot of anxiety related to noise in a previous house and the effects linger to this day.

Have you experimented with different types of noise (pink or brown might help) or sounds? I find rain noise tracks very soothing and good for drowning things out. I also sometimes listen to sleep stories on the calm app (there are some on the free version).

Beyond that, meditation. It is difficult but I'm persevering to try and learn some techniques to manage that anxious state and just be calmer about the whole thing.

I cannot stand neighbour noise it makes me crazy. I cant afford a detached house. Next doors dogs bark incessantly.i spend most of my day at home in noise blocking headphones. I can listen to music or the radio or just have silence they have saved my life. You can get noise blocking ear buds also if you don't like headhones.

We have a new (apparently) tenant next door who’s been in and out of property since February, yet there’s no furniture, bed, carpets or belongings. He’s here in the daytime with youths drinking and smoking then they all leave. He’s not spent one night here in three months. Could this be an illegal occupancy? It’s not quite right.

I'm sensitive to sound too so I sympathise. I haven't found a way of mentally coping with noise but I found a solution that helped me. I know it's not your house but would your sister allow you to sound proof the walls between your bedroom and neighbours? It doesn't cost must and is about as disruptive as decorating. I haven't been able to block neighbour noise throughout the house but at least now my bedroom is a haven of silence.