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Original poster

Choosing where to live- heart vs brain

38 replies

Potaytoe5 · 28/04/2023 10:16

Hi all, I'd appreciate some advice.
We'll be putting our house on the market soon and we started looking at areas we'd like to live in, and driving past some houses there to get more of an idea.
I feel stumped.
I know it will all come down to the house itself, but I feel like we need to plan ahead as we'd rather move sooner rather than later due to DC's school- if we decide to move areas, that is. I feel like I like where we live, but realistically we'd prefer a detached house as our 'forever home'.
Is there anything else I should take into account? Crime rates are similar, I checked the flooding levels as well.

AREA A
Currently live here
A bit mixed, not a lot of detached houses, will probably end up in another semi
Some very spacious semis, near a road but with big gardens back and front, a lot of them extended, overall spacious
Near current school, which gets mixed opinion but DC loves
In catchment of the best secondary in town (currently, but DC is still v young)
Walkable to town
Easy drive to work, but we mostly WFH
Houses are cheaper, we'd have a lot of money leftover for holidays etc
All current friends live near here

AREA B
Suburbs of the same town, but very bad traffic to town, it often takes 30 min to just get to town centre (only need to go to the office 1x a week though)
Overall much cleaner, greener, and I guess 'middle class'
Could get a detached house there, which we'd like, probably with a smaller garden
We'd have less money left over but still enough
Some of friends don't drive so we'd likely see them less
In catchment of the best regarded secondary school, seems to be going through a rough patch- but we still have years before DC finishes primary
Local primary should have some spaces and seems much nicer than the current one, with more events and trips taking place- current school doesn't organise much, as most parents can't afford it

OP posts:
Original poster
Potaytoe5 · 28/04/2023 10:17

My heart is saying to stay in Area A, but brain to move to Area B!

OP posts:
Mooserp · 28/04/2023 10:23

I would go for Area B. I would definitely get a detached house over a semi.

And 30 minutes drive once a week to work is nothing.

Original poster
Potaytoe5 · 28/04/2023 10:26

Thank you. That's what I THINK, but I guess I am used to where we live, my neighbours are lovely and I am worried about upsetting DC and changing schools.
We've never had problems in our current semi, but I appreciate it is a matter of luck!

OP posts:
Mooserp · 28/04/2023 10:27

How old is DC?

Original poster
Potaytoe5 · 28/04/2023 10:32

Only 5 and in reception, so I'm probably being ridiculous! There would be a lot of tears if we change schools I am sure. I don't know why I worry about it so much, I went to 3 different primary schools.

OP posts:
MinPinSins · 28/04/2023 12:10

Potaytoe5 · 28/04/2023 10:17

My heart is saying to stay in Area A, but brain to move to Area B!

It's funny, to me the advantages to area A are clear so I thought that B was going to be your heart! I value walking to town a lot, and I imagine your son would too when he's older. Having more going on at the primary school isn't that big a deal - you can of course use the money you save for more clubs, days out etc for him. And of course, he could hate the school - I wouldn't undersell the value of a school you know he likes! Being close to friends also has such a big impact on wellbeing and quality of life.

If detached is super important, B makes sense, but otherwise, B seems 'naicer' without any actual improvement to your quality of life

MrsBlondie · 28/04/2023 12:12

AREA A. Think ahead to teenagers (yes I know!) they cycle to meet friends, will you always be driving.

More money for holidays and the CoL.
Id go area a

Original poster
Potaytoe5 · 28/04/2023 12:34

I suppose we were hoping for our next house to be our 'forever' (or at least a 10-15 years or so) house, both DH and I are hoping for a detached house.
There ARE some detached houses nearer the area A, but far away from the current school / near a school I don't like that we could consider moving there when DC is in secondary. But that would mean possibly another house move soonish.
I like closeness to town centre we have now.
Some of the semis in Area A are really quite nice as well, old, huge, about 3x the garden we would get in area B etc...
If we stay where we are we might even be mortgage free in 10 years or less, but not in a detached house. I guess I am wondering if we don't do it now, will we stuck in a semi by a road forever, instead of paying off our 'forever' detached house? What if the prices go even higher and we can never afford it again...!

OP posts:
Peanutbutteryday · 28/04/2023 14:17

It depends what you value! I’d pick A as I really value having amenities on top of me and a short commute. (That being said 30 mins to work under option b is nothing). Both sound great options to me to be honest.

Original poster
Potaytoe5 · 28/04/2023 14:19

Area B seems to have lots of amenities there as well, local big supermarket, post office, restaurants and pubs, community centre etc., so we might not NEED to go to town as much. Maybe we could view houses in both areas and hope we will fall in love with one, then we will just go for it. I think we might have to compromise on the house if we stay in the Area A.

OP posts:
JuneShitfield · 28/04/2023 14:35

For me, A would be heart and head. Especially with a good secondary; if your child is five that’s only six years away.

It strikes me that B risks you being isolated, car-dependent and (a bit) more in debt. I’ll be honest; I’m struggling to see the main benefit of B beyond a detached house.

A good-sized semi could easily be a forever home, if you pick one that’s sufficiently big/grand and ‘period’ enough.

Sh4rkAttack · 28/04/2023 14:43

JuneShitfield · 28/04/2023 14:35

For me, A would be heart and head. Especially with a good secondary; if your child is five that’s only six years away.

It strikes me that B risks you being isolated, car-dependent and (a bit) more in debt. I’ll be honest; I’m struggling to see the main benefit of B beyond a detached house.

A good-sized semi could easily be a forever home, if you pick one that’s sufficiently big/grand and ‘period’ enough.

I agree.

Original poster
Potaytoe5 · 28/04/2023 14:44

It might come down to what is available when we are buying as well! Big enough houses don't always come up in Area A, so we might not be able to get one :(
Some of the period semis are way more expensive than the newer build detached from area B.

Isn't 6 years a long time for the school to change? Both schools in A and B area are currently the best in town, with the B school being the 'best rated' but with results slightly worse than school A.
Slightly worried that previously bad school A could easily turn back to not being great in 6 years....
Sorry just thinking out loud now. Need to finish tidying up and put our house on the market soon.

When would it be a good time to check which schools have available places, before we view the houses or after? I wouldn't want to delay putting an offer through in case we need to move schools.

OP posts:
JuneShitfield · 28/04/2023 14:49

Isn't 6 years a long time for the school to change?

Yes, but you could argue that this works both ways — the good school in B could equally go down the toilet in that time.

It’s not an easy decision, I don’t envy you.

JuneShitfield · 28/04/2023 14:51

I just come from the approach of — you’re kind of woven into the community where you are now, and it sounds like a good one. Friends, work, social stuff. So much of your life is established and rooted there. Ripping yourselves out from that would be a not inconsiderable thing.

MissDollyMix · 28/04/2023 14:52

Sounds like there are plenty of sensible reasons to stick in area A. The only reason I’d for B is if you think investing in property in area A won’t be a good investment and will leave you behind in the property market. Personally though I see nothing wrong with a good solid period semi (if that’s the kind of house you’re looking at)

Giggorata · 28/04/2023 14:52

Unless I really fell in love with a house in A, I’d probably go for a huge semi with big garden in B.
I would prefer to live nearer the centre of things or a village, rather than a suburb, and then you have things like friends and easier commutes to take into account. And being a teenage taxi service, as opposed to them being able to walk or bus somewhere under their own steam.

Whatever you decide, I would suggest that you don't move children from their secondary education, if at all possible. That was the most important factor our DC highlighted when we contemplated a move.

mondaytosunday · 28/04/2023 14:54

Go with your heart. Area A.

wrinkleintime · 28/04/2023 14:58

You seem obsessed by this idea of a 'forever house'.

Just move to the place that is most convenient and you most like at the moment.

Anything could happen in a few years' time. All you can really go off is who you are now and what you want in the near future.

Original poster
Potaytoe5 · 28/04/2023 15:04

@Giggorata do you mean a big semi in Area A? It's the one nearer town.

OP posts:
Original poster
Potaytoe5 · 28/04/2023 15:05

@wrinkleintime That's true, things can change, but moving house is expensive and a lot of work, so I'd prefer if we could avoid doing it again too soon!

OP posts:
wrinkleintime · 28/04/2023 15:09

What other choice do you have without a lens into the future?

You know who you are now, what you like, what you enjoy in your life. And you seem very uncertain that Area B is going to be what you want. Based on that, Area A seems like the obvious choice.

Almostwelsh · 28/04/2023 15:23

Area A without a doubt. B sounds like it could be a lonely experience. And being close to town is a big plus point with older children.

Peanutbutteryday · 28/04/2023 15:46

If it helps we are in a semi with a large garden near many A roads in London. We love it. We very rarely hear our neighbours and our garden is nicely spaced from next door’s so we aren’t on top of them at all. As above for us the ability to be so near amenities was our key driver for staying here - and we don’t regret it. Will be good when our DC’s are older too and don’t need the taxi of mum and dad for everything.

Only you will know though what is most important to you.

The other thing I’d say with a semi is some period properties you can hear more through the walls than others (so maybe do some research on the style of property and noise through walls that you are going for before offering on anything)

Pipsquiggle · 28/04/2023 15:55

Best piece of advice I got was 'move for the secondary school not the primary school'

We relocated to our 'forever' home 5 years ago, eldest child was 6. We specifically moved to where we are due to access to an excellent secondary and grammar schools - a mile down the road neither would be an option. Fortunately, the primary schools are also great.

I love being in a detached home but would have considered a well built semi

Ultimately I think it will depend on what's available on the market when you want to move.

You keep saying you've got a while before secondary but it's only 6 years and I am assuming you only want to move once.

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