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I’m so anxious about moving house - is this normal?

15 replies

user143677435 · 09/03/2023 07:56

I’m so anxious about moving house that I can’t sleep. Is this normal? I’m worried that we are making a huge mistake, even though we all really want to move.

I think partly it is just because we have never done it before. We’ve lived here for 20 plus years and this was our first house.

Partly it’s about money. We’ll be increasing the mortgage by nearly £250k and if it just feels like so much, even though it is all costed out. I keep thinking through disaster scenarios.

OP posts:
sunlovingcriminal · 09/03/2023 07:58

Moving house is a major life event. It is unsettling and stressful. So yes, perfectly normal to feel the way you do. Should it stop you from moving, no. Do you need to find a way to feel excited as well as nervous... yes!

Tell us what you like about the house you're buying.

AchillesLastStand · 09/03/2023 08:29

Yes, perfectly normal. I have an anxiety disorder and got very stressed about our house move but within a couple of days of moving in I knew it was the best decision we ever made. I was so much happier in the new house. Keep telling yourself it will be a positive move. Also go shopping for some things for your new home. It doesn’t have to be anything big and expensive but something you can look forward to using when you’ve moved. Good luck.

SparkyBlue · 09/03/2023 08:34

Like a PP said it's a major life event so it's meant to be stressful. We moved 6 years ago and to be honest we need a bit more space and we can afford it but never again am I going through it. Honestly it will be a bit "wtf are we doing" but once you are in you will be fine. It's really not like tv where you see people moved in and everything is laid out and perfect. Expect a bit of chaos and upheaval for a few weeks but honestly it will be so worth it. Best of luck with it all.

PandasAreUseless · 09/03/2023 08:40

When we last moved house, I had an upset stomach and severe anxiety through the whole process. Then on moving day, I cried for the whole journey to our new home because I thought we were going to crash on the motorway.

As for increasing your mortgage by £250k, it's a lot and I wouldnt do it, but only you know what shape your finances are in and if that's a sensible amount for you.

Greenfairydust · 09/03/2023 09:36

I had an offer accepted yesterday and I am absolutely terrified at the prospect of having to start the buying process, not to mention taking on a new mortgage!

I think it is normal I assume but I agree that the whole thing is just incredibly stressful. I am buying on my own as well so there is no one to support me and it really is a daunting process.

My previous purchase was a new built flat so everything was really quick and easy and I have sold two properties in the past very easily.

But this one is my first proper house purchase with a small chain and it is a scary prospect...

user143677435 · 09/03/2023 22:20

Thank you all so much! That really helps.

And sorry. I didn’t mean to post and run. The day got taken up with solicitors and movers for quotes and everything else.

It helps to know it’s stressful and not just me. I need to keep my eye in the prize. The new house is lovely. It has the space we need and a garage and a garden. It’s also going to save us hours every day in commuting, and about £400 per month in travel costs, and about £200 in other bills, so partly self funding from the saving!

I guess I just need to survive through the chaos.

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CoffeeWithCheese · 10/03/2023 18:25

It is horrendously stressful. I remember moving into my last home and DH found me sobbing under the dining table at one point as it all just felt so wrong and in the wrong place and everything and I wanted my tiny shoebox flat back... I've since found out I'm autistic which explains a lot of the issues with change!

We've just moved again - like yourself, raised the mortgage a lot (but our earnings have increased a LOT since we bought the last place over 10 years ago so the sums DO add up) and I felt so unsettled and ill in the run up to it, even though I was only moving a couple of miles (big upsize), and completely overloaded and crashed back down after the actual move itself. Difference is that this time I know this is how I react and I understand that and I've pre-empted it as much as I could, and work are very aware and if I need to work flexibly for a few weeks to get over the adrenaline rollercoaster - they're fine with me doing that (and I don't take the piss in terms of not putting in the hours).

It's been well worth it though (despite the council putting fucking roadworks outside so we can't use the driveway starting the day after we bloody moved!) - the space is phenomenal and my new office room (I work hybridly) is just glorious in the early afternoon sunshine with rainbows coming through stained glass - so totally joyous.

carriedout · 10/03/2023 18:27

Yes completely normal! Just take it easy, practise meditation and deep breathing and hopefully you will feel calmer about a month after you move in!

user143677435 · 10/03/2023 20:52

Thanks. Feeling a bit calmer today. Managed to sleep (even though I woke in a panic at 5am after my sleeping brain decided to create to-do lists in my head).

Inspired by some of the responses I am going to try to get proactively ahead of it and start up with HeadSpace or Calm to try to chill.

It will be worth it. Staying here would be MUCH more stressful in the long run.

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webuiltthiscityonrockandwheat · 11/03/2023 07:36

We are only moving next door but have taken on a much bigger mortgage and with the interest rates being higher than when we first bought 6 years ago I do keep having what have we done moments! It'll be so worth it though, going from a tiny 2 bed to a large 4 bed with a lovely big garden. I just keep reminding myself it will be worth it

sunlover1123 · 10/10/2023 10:13

How did the house move go? I’m moving next week with a 5 month old and feeling VERY anxious as I just don’t feel prepared. We live in a 2 bed house so I doubt it will take long to pack but I keep thinking we won’t be able to do it in time. The worry has now got me with a cold and my partner is also feeling like he is coming down with something so I wonder if we will both be unwell when moving.

i need a way to cope with the anxious thoughts so any suggestions welcome!

FayCarew · 10/10/2023 10:16

@sunlover1123 , your home is your safe place, and you are going to lose that sense of having an anchor. The good news is that the new house soon becomes home.

user143677435 · 10/10/2023 10:29

Hi @sunlover1123 It’s been AMAZING! Without a doubt it’s one of the best things we ever did.

The actual move was very very hard work. Way more so than I expected. Even with a packing service it was exhausting.

But the new house is so worth it. I can’t imagine living anywhere else. It works so much better for us as a family. We are all so much happier and relaxed on a day to day basis. And because of the complete restructure of cash flow with the new mortgage, even though the mortgage is bigger our finances are healthier.

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sunlover1123 · 10/10/2023 11:02

Thank you! That’s super helpful to hear! We opted to pack ourselves thinking it would be easier with a small baby. I keep telling my partner we need to pack and I’ve asked my parents to help on the day of the move as I’ll need someone to look after the baby when doing the last minute items.

I’ve got a rash that’s appeared on my hands and the doctor thinks it’s most likely brought on by stress. If only somehow I could relax about it!

I am not bothered about the unpacking it’s just packing :)

FayCarew · 10/10/2023 11:06

@sunlover1123 , pack the important bits in boxes you can handle and mark them clearly. These are things like kettle, mugs and teabags. Make sure the changing bag is well stocked and that you know where the baby things are, so if it gets too much, you can change/feed/put down your baby and have a cup of tea.

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