To buy a flat and stay in current (lovely) area or a small house and move?

[Marghe87]

We live in a lovely area in London zone 5. Have been here for a few years, DD is 2 and goes to a lovely nursery and there are good schools nearby with good pre school and afternoon clubs. Train connections are also great and DH manage all drop off and pick ups with no issues (no family support so it’s important for us).
We are getting close to buying a house and we cannot afford one here, just a flat or a maisonette. I’d love to get a proper house but moving to a new area worries me a bit, mostly because of DD and the need to do pick ups etc. i am concerned I will have to use a CM when she is in school as afternoon clubs close at 6 latest and if we relocate further out or with not so good trains we might not be able to be there on time.
Nothing wrong with using a CM, it just makes us feel a bit uneasy to leave DD in a stranger’s house whereas a nursery or school setting feels safer.
We are really torn and honestly don’t know what to do. I am scared I might regret getting a flat and that we could have been more adventurous moving somewhere else but equally logistics are currently very easy and for 2 ft working parents with no extra support it is a very important aspect.
Keen to hear your experience and advice!

We made a move from East to South East London and it was a great move for us. When we first moved new area was still up and coming so managed to upgrade from flat to 3 bedroom house. This was a while ago but E/N London still much more expensive than SE London.

New area massively changed and we love it (after shedding real tears at moving Sarf of the river 😉) and great primaries, nurseries and a smattering of secondaries).

@Meetingsmeetingseverywhere we live in SW London suburbs zone 5 so for me in terms of area, this is as good as it gets. The change would imply moving further out within Surrey, which is of course lovely in most parts, but I am just very happy here and DH too.
I lived in East London too many years ago and personally never really liked it (although of course "east London" can mean many different areas!) so I can see how a change to SE was good for you

@UnicornRidge "He bowed to his parents and peer pressure" here you go, this is what I fear is pushing me to think we need to get a house somewhere else. Nothing to do with my parents, who live abroad in Europe (where in fact most families live in flats), but more a pressure from what society expects you to do once you have DC. There seems to be an obsession with property ladder in this country and people think it's weird to make a flat or a maisonette your forever home, even if you have DC. I don't want DD to feel "different" from other children, although I appreciate this is probably my own issue rather than hers.

I think it’s pretty clear you should (and want to) stay where you are, and buy the flat or maisonette. You really don’t ‘need’ a house, and some maisonettes or flats are better laid out and easier to live in as a family than tiny terraced houses.

If it’s really down to a feeling from society of what property you ‘should’ buy, that’s not a real reason. If it’s leasehold vs freehold you just need to look carefully at the exact terms of the flats/maisonettes you’re interested in, as this can vary hugely. If it’s that you couldn’t later “add value” through extending or doing a lift conversion etc - will you need more space for your family? Do you want the upheaval of building work? Would you be able to afford it?

If I were you I’d choose the area over the property. In a similar situation we knew we couldn’t afford to buy anything in our part of London and so we had to move. If we could have bought a maisonette or decent size flat I’d have been thrilled.

@NoSquirrels thank you. Well, the freehold/leasehold and repairing fees etc are also another big downside of owning a flat or maisonette whereas with a house you have the freedom to manage the expenses at your own time.

I honestly don't know what do to! One thing I'd love for sure is a garden, that I would really miss if we got a flat as I am dreaming of the day we will be able to have our own little space but I am happy with a small one (I read here on MN how people expect private driveways, sheds, space for children's bikes etc - it just seems all very our of reach to me, at least here in London/Surrey border)

Id probably buy a flat where you are, but keep in your mind to move before DD starts secondary school.

I think there's flats and flats.

When it's a converted house and comes with a garden then it seems little different to a terrace and is very different from a large block.

I'd be less bothered about flat versus house and more about which boxes it needs to tick.

Things like hallway storage become more of an issue with a growing family and some flats can be poor in this area (but so can houses).

I'd book viewings across the full range of options and see what feels right as well as meets the practical demands.

@Calmdown14 we are not planning on having more DC so whilst space is important to us, we don't need a massive house. Even if we are going to get a house in a different area, chances are I'd still be a 2 bed terraced about 70 sq mt big (based on what I can see).
I'd definitely choose a maisonette type of flat with a garden, not one in a big block, this is definitely something we don't want to negotiate on. My main worry would be whether it's be considered "weird" in DD school that she lives in a flat as I have seen threads about this on MN that have really surprised me (again, I am from Europe and I don't get the British obsession with houses) and also the potential repair costs etc

I really don't think your child will be weird for living in a flat.

@Dodgeitornot I appreciate I sound mad by saying what I said. The reason why I worry about perhaps is that I am not from the UK and I’d like DD to feel as if she “fits in” with society here. Based on many conversations and MN I seem to gather that for the vast majority of Brits, living in a flat with DC is deemed as a bit strange. I don’t want snobby parents and kids to look down at her because of where we’d live (which btw I appreciate is a first world problem as it’s a lovely maisonette worth nearly half a million just outside London we are talking about, not exactly like raising her under a bridge).

I think you're overthinking and probably projecting too. I grew up in London and a lot of my friends lived in flats. You'll find that as your DD grows up, where she lives doesn't matter anywhere near as much as how much disposable income and time you have for her. There will be plenty of kids living in flats in her classes.

I live in a flat in a different UK city, rather than moving to a different area where I could afford a house.
My kids are not at all bothered! And there are loads of families living in flats too.
I think you'd regret it, you clearly love where you live.

I live in London and I’d say about 75% of children in our outstanding, fairly middle class primary school live in flats. It’s 100% normal in London and won’t be something to be ashamed about.

There may be places in the U.K. where it could be an issue, but not in London.

@creekingmillenial thank you for sharing. We wouldn’t be in central London but more in zone 5/6 based on areas we are considerinng though but I guess it‘s close enough!

I live in London and I’d say about 75% of children in our outstanding, fairly middle class primary school live in flats. It’s 100% normal in London and won’t be something to be ashamed about.

What yr are your dc in? I'm a londoner & it was certainly true for me but then people start swapping them for houses. Nothing wrong with staying in one though.

where are you now @Marghe87 I can't think of many parts of z5/6 where you can't find a house in your budget.

@bibbybox not around some SW London areas, no. £500K gets you a nice flat or at best a horrible tiny house in need of a lot of refurbishment

I agree- the bullshit we have to navigate to fit in/seem successful or worthy hey… I’ve not yet had many play dates to gauge “the vibe” but honestly cannot see myself giving a D.