Engaged, new WFH job and now pregnant.... crazy to move or not move in current climate?

[Redpolkadotpot]

TLDR version - what to prioritise out of 1) moving to bigger house 2) adding space to existing house 3) wedding...

Very long version - 2023 has been a wild one so far, engaged, a new job and now very recently found out we're pregnant too but that is very early days so anything could happen.

Currently live in a smallish 3 bed and we've always said to move to larger house one day for various reasons. New job also means we'll both be WFH full time too so suddenly in need of the extra space.

1. Moving will add mortgage of £80-100k, with payments increasing around £800pm from £1000 based on recent interest rates

2. A fully insulated garden pod with electrics etc. will easily be £15-20k from research...will this add value to house?!

3. A wedding we estimate to be around £14-18k depending on what we do

To note, with option 1, we'd be going from 50% LTV to 65% LTV, and on a monthly basis, the mortgage will be roughly 30% of our take home leaving us a decent amount to save still.

I've pretty much ordered my preference but wondering if we're being silly, moving in the current climate and should do option 2 and save more to eventually move...and maybe just do smaller/cheaper wedding but will we regret not doing something special for that...

To add that I'm 38 so if this baby doesn't come, it's also possible in the future I might need IVF and then if any baby happens, I'd likely drop hours reducing my income etc. fortunately my partner is the breadwinner and likely to increase income still.

Partner is very easy going and similar to me in preferences.

Smallish three bed is fine for two adults and a child, for some time yet, even if you have one bedroom as an office. Save hard (see below) to be able to move somewhere bigger when the market, your situation, and interest rates are more secure, and you genuinely need the space.

No need to change anything which takes on more debt when you are pregnant and will have maternity leave within the year. You never know if you’ll want to or be able to go back full time afterwards, so cut your cloth accordingly. Enjoy being able to WFH while pregnant, which is a huge help in case of morning sickness, SPD, and knackeredness.

Go and spend £200 getting married at a register office. Use some of the money you save by not spending 14-18k (really??) on a wedding where you might feel sick, look like a blimp, be unable to wear heels, and not be able to drink to your own toast, on a big party for your family and friends when you feel you would like to.

Yes it's true, I hadn't thought about the possibility of not going back to work, but I guess that's possible as I just don't know how I'll feel until it happens, and if we moved, we would not have that opportunity. Food for thought.

It would be a squish though, as we'd like to keep the spare bed at least for any grandparents to stay and help!

Get married before the baby arrives. It doesn’t cost £14k+. Go to local registrar and get the paperwork done and worry about a party later.

Do you know how vulnerable you are when having a baby while unmarried?

Will grandparents be staying whilst you work ? If not the office doubled as the spare room - you can even get a desk that converts to a double bed

Will they really be staying a lot?
You can probably put child in with you when young and child on the sofa / camp bed when they are older
Also hotel could be worth thinking about - 80 grand is 800 nights in a hotel which is 40 nights - more than a month each year till the child is 20

Yeah seriously skip the wedding OP. No offence but you’re preggers - you don’t need a fancy do and a big white dress. A registry office and a nice meal now, maybe save some cash for a honeymoon, and then you can have a party when the baby is here. Bet when you get to that point you will realise the expense is ridiculous and not bother!

What you do re house depends a bit on what you think might happen to earnings post baby. Difficult to say now but if you are confident you will return to work etc then I’d say move now, asap. Easier to get a mortgage with no dependents, and easier logistically to move house without a baby (and all their stuff). But if you’d plan to go part time or something then maybe best to just stay where you are and save the cash.

I would seriously consider moving but be savy about it. For instance, you could get a house with a separate garage that would cost less to insulate and convert than a garage pod. I'd say more like 10k, which is a third of your wedding costs saved.

Having the right living space and working space when working from home stopped a lot of stress for us. Stuff like space to put the toys and have a family meal really helped.

The baby won't need its own room until it is 6months old. So you prioritise other rooms first.

Also consider what's important for your wedding, some venues do packages which mean it is mostly sorted for you. Or as others say, you could wait and do a big celebration later. You could even do the big ceremony as a symbolic event later. Our friends did this after a simple registry during lockdown, it was just a moving as any other wedding ceremony if not more so than some

I'm hoping my mum might stay over 1-2 nights a week yes, whilst I'm at work at home but yeah, it's definitely a squish but still doable with some changes to furniture to optimise the space. The paternal grandparents live an hour ish away and would mainly be weekends, yes they would stay in a hotel but probably visit less as not as convenient or comfortable compared to moving to larger property.

So option 3 was always going to be get married with the wedding AFTER baby in 2024, but even the idea of planning one whilst pregnant doesn't appeal to me...

We've already said if we move, then to do a registry before baby comes too and party later just because it feels right (for us) to do so.

Unless there was health related reasons to not work, I am planning on keeping my job yes, I enjoy it, great benefits and team, but I'd perhaps reduce by a day...I already do condensed hours so 4 day work week so could drop to working 4 days over 3 instead.

That was part of my thinking...easier to move now because of no dependents and less things.

Perhaps to also add, although my partner is the breadwinner by income, I have much more equity/savings/assets etc. I am also due a sizeable inheritance in the next couple of years so not sure if that changes things to how vulnerable I am.

You are already pregnant- there is low likelihood you can sell and buy in less than 9 months - once sold it's easily a 4 or 5 months process - selling is slow at the moment and long chains can take longer

We have managed with 2 of us WFH a couple of days a week with DD (20months) in a small 3 bed. We had main bedroom + DD in a cot in our room for the first year, and GPs slept in 2nd bedroom with double when visiting (they live 300miles away). We turned boxroom into office. DH and i try to avoid both WFH on the same day and on the odd times it happens one of us works at the table downstairs.

Then when DD got into her own room, GPs have our room when they come to stay and we sleep on a sofabed in DDs room.

We have just finished a loft conversion which will give GPs their own room and shower room for their visits and allow us to stay in this house if we have a 2nd child. The only reason we didnt move is because we are trying to build the equity in our house so we can move out of the south east before DD gets secondary school and obviously moving anywhere bigger in London was going to be an extra £200-250k given how the market has moved since we bought our house.

So TLDR, i think there are ways you could make it work, if you wanted to stay where you are for now.

Get married at local registry office with a nice meal afterwards - less than £500. £18k to have other people eat and watch you sign a contract to betroth half your worldly assets to another person in the event you decide to separate is madness hopeless romantic here obviously

House size sounds fine for two adults and a child so I would build the garden office. It may not add value, in today's market, but it'll be cheaper than moving (solicitors fees, removals and stop dirty alone let alone additional mortgage costs) and it's a usable space that you need so the investment is not necessarily financial.