Moving regrets

[Zapzep]

Around 2 years ago I moved house it has been a complete disaster.

At the time of the move I was full of optimism an opportunity to re-train for a job that I really wanted, and moving away from an area that I didn’t like that much.
The reality has been I complete nightmare.

My last home sold just a couple of weeks before the first covid lockdown,
so after it sold I had to wait months before I could have any viewings in the new area, by the time I was able to travel and start looking around,all the properties that were on the market before the lockdown had gone and anything new was going on for a much higher price.
(I moved from wales to england so our lockdown went on for a month longer).
In the end the only option was a tiny retirement bungalow,
It was acutally less than I could afford but I thought well could have an extension, and make some other changes.

I got the extension built but because of the way prices have gone up I can’t do any of the other work that was needed. The worst part is the fact there are no windows upstairs only skylights that need to be renewed asap.

The window in the tiny lounge downstairs is 6ft high off the ground, you have to up steps to go in the front door and then down 3 steps inside, so there is not outlook at all, it is really oppresive like living in a prison.

I live with DM, she was really active before we moved but she had a major setback with her health after we moved and has now lost a lot of her mobility, I feel racked with guilt for bringing her here, although she did want to move and didn’t like the area where we lived before.

Trying to retrain has been really difficult. The work I am doing requires lots of thought and technical drawing, and I just keep making one mistake after another.
I just cannot consentrate on anything
All I can think of everyday is the nice home that I left behind (which took years of hard work) which has now all been wiped out.

I wake up every morning feeling shaken upset and don’t know what to do.
If we move again it’s probably going to mean somewhere about 40 miles from where we are now, as what we are living in won’t be worth enough to buy in this area.

Sorry to hear this @Zapzep. I know homes should be a heart over head thing but bungalows are very rare and very sought after. What may not suit you will very much suit a member of the previous generation and they are plentiful in number. If there is anything you can do to add light cheaply (mirrors, white walls etc) then go for it. Remember even if the market cools and you get less for your home than you’d want, the onward purchase may also be less so 10% or a ‘nice’ place may mean a bigger saving than in a buoyant market. Lots of people are trying to downsize in case there really is a crash and your property sounds perfect.

Sorry to read your post. Hindsight is a wonderful thing and if you didn’t move though you would be regretting it possibly?
Would you not consider moving again? With you having the extension built, this will have added value. Keep a look at rightmove for property in the area within your affordability bracket- keeping your options open.

We moved to another area, and then we moved back after around 5/6 years as it wasn't working, so I wouldn't totally discount moving on if you really can't settle.
What I would say though is if it's just the house making you miserable, can you change it? For instance, could you extend the windows in your lounge ( planning permission/ building regs permitting)? We had a very dark kitchen in a previous house, and a new window was cut into the brickwork in a day ( and then made good over the next few days). Could that help?

Thank you for the replies, I am very torn as to what to do

Since the cost of everything has risen especially building work, I don’t think I can afford to have window moved, the extension I had built already cost significantly more than I anticipated, I am also worried that I could spend a lot on the preparation (submitting planning permission, building control, and some other prerequisite work) and then not be able to get the job done.

I am also concerned about staying here, putting down roots and then not being able to move. As this property is worth so much less than anything else in this area, If I do move it would have to be about 40 miles away to a much cheaper area.

As an aside this place only has a shower, there is no bath or room to add one, and I also underestimated how much that would matter, although I wouldn’t move because of it, I will definitely be looking for somewhere that has bath if I do.

@Notcreative That’s really interesting!
4 years ago we moved back to where I grew up in London and have struggled to settle. Still pine for our old house/community. (Did it for elderly parents and career.) I dream of relocating once youngest has finished 6th form in a couple of years.
But I worry it won’t be the same.
How did you find moving back after 5/6 years?

@Zapzep Hello, I moved house about 3.5 years ago, and I bitterly regret it as well. Although my new house is more spacious, I greatly underestimated the amount of work that needed doing. So far, I have revamped the kitchen & bathroom, but I've now run out of money & enthusiasm for doing any more work. I'd love to move back to where I used to live, but it's got very expensive there now, and I would struggle to afford it. I have lost my beloved cat to kidney disease, and have left several good friends behind. I have struggled to make new ones in my new area. In short, it's been a disaster... Now I'm thinking of emigrating to Greece, to just run away from the whole fiasco, but I'd probably have to sell up & move into a temporary rented place to be able to afford to move abroad...

Hi, I know this is an old post but we’re in the same situation. We sold our beloved home as we thought we needed more space but it was a complete disaster and now faced with suffering depression and a huge renovation project which is costing far more than we anticipated. We hugely regret moving and so does our finances. We have nearly separated over the stress and anxiety it has caused, if only we could turn back time!

Hi @Chriss82
i really sympathise. We moved 6 years ago and now planning to move back!
i found speaking to a therapist helped and also reading about regret - there’s a book called The Power of Regret which is excellent. Also trying to appreciate what you have and finding some enjoyment in the present day.
And if you can stay in touch with those you left behind. Go and visit them and tell them how you feel if you can.
You never know, you may end up moving back.

Have you ever thought about ‘sun tunnels’ ? velux make them (among others).
We also moved out of our area, to a bungalow that required loads of work, during Covid. You do have my sympathy.
The extra light makes a real difference. We have two sun tunnels, one in the bathroom and one in the hall, it’s made such a difference to the light. Lack of light does increase depression. I do realise that this would not give you a view though.

Hi, I'm so sorry to hear you're in the same boat as me! I miss my old flat & area sooo much- even going for walks along the river, visiting the great garden centre nearby, the closeness of all the shops & my 7-days a week open gym. It's my plan to move back when I can. I miss my beloved cat & friends. I'm praying for some financial miracle to make this possible. Good luck!