Hi, I’m looking for advice on ways to help my daughter. Any help or pointers would be great. Apologies for length but background may help. She has a physical health diagnosis and past mental health diagnoses. She receives maximum PIP and other benefits as it is considered she cannot work. She is private renting with a friend 200 miles away from me but as her health has deteriorated, she needs more care and her friend (who has been great over the years) wants to move in with her boyfriend. My daughter wants to come back to where I live.
Her benefits and housing benefit mean she can afford a flat privately but where we are the demand far outstrips supply and we have been told by a letting agent that no private landlord will rent to anyone on benefits/disabled as they always have so many prospective to choose from so just rent to good salary/permanent contract people. I can see why. Citing discrimination won’t help as it’s not a refusal to rent a property that would otherwise remain vacant, it’s just picking one of many applicants.
Daughter has applied to join council house list here – she has a local connection case and a ‘lets rent’ scheme as she is arguably likely to be homeless because living with me is a problem, both on house layout not having a toilet/bathroom on the same floor as the bedroom and my wife (her step mum) saying it can’t happen. If it was up to me, she could live in the lounge/diner, the only downstairs room except bathroom and kitchen. Living with her biological mum also complex as she has very early onset dementia and needs more and more care in the home and soon will have to move to a supported living arrangement. The house would work logistically but the psychological impact on my daughter and her mum would be huge. No other family to take my daughter in. I assume any council backed home will be years away.
I have considered renting a property for my daughter and I to live in. I could afford it but only if our house is sold as it has £130K outstanding mortgage on a £280K value house so I can’t pay mortgage and rent. My daughter can’t get housing benefit if not on a tenancy and so can’t help pay the rent. If we joint applied, I’m told it would look ‘weird’ to a lettings agency or landlord so we’d never get a look in.
A nuclear option is my wife and I sell our house and we both rent or buy, and I live with my daughter. Renting is doable, more for me than my wife and whilst my wife and I recognise our marriage is toxic at times (see previous by me) and we’d be happier living separately, my wife does not want a drop in living standards. I can see that. For me, I don't care so much about that. I've done a lot of damage to people in my life. MN opened my eyes to my past narc/'nice guy' shit. If I can do right by my daughter for once without harming anyone else I don't mind what happens to me but I'm also seeing that my wife, if her choice is to stay with me for the odd good day and creature comforts as she described our marriage to our counsellor, shouldn't be forced out of that.
I appreciate my daughter’s best option might be to ask the council where she is for help and short term that might work. I can go up and see her, but I worry about her mental health as her friendships have dwindled and her level of disability is such that she is effectively housebound and at times cannot leave her bed. Alone all day and night save for carers could be catastrophic.
So my questions are:
Is it true that private rentals now in effect exclude the disabled/benefits/zero hours contracts etc?
If I rented a place could my daughter live with me but not on the tenancy or would I be subletting?
My wife and I are mid 50s. If we sold our house are there any schemes such as part ownership that mean my wife could buy part of a place that would leave enough each month to live as she does now, just without me? I think older people’s shared ownership has ended? We’d have maybe £60k capital each (we have no savings) after house sale. I take home £2800, my wife £2200, both in public sector jobs with good pensions. I could elect to give her more of the capital from the sale or give her money each month to help. As said, I don't care much and although I'd be giving away my childens' inheritance from me, they will (if care costs don't swallow it) get about £250K each from my ex wife. The one good thing I did when I left her was leave with nothing.
Thanks in advance.