I feel like I've been lied to and strung along - would you just pull out now?

[ThisMustBeMyDream]

Long story short. Found a house last May. They found onward purcahse in October. They wanted a dooer upper. They found one. Told probate granted at viewing and offer stage. Found out 2 weeks ago not only was it not granted, it hadn't even been applied for. This is 3 months in to the legal process with days before exchange.

Chain is my buyer, me and them buying this probate property. Me and my buyer ready for exchange and have been for 2 weeks. My buyer applied for a mortgage extension to buy extra time, which was granted, but only buying an extra 17 days 🙄. It was due to expire 6th Feb originally. My vendor has been telling me since this happened that no matter what she is moving out and breaking the chain. She has talked about going to her mums, or renting. Lots of conversations between us about it all. She just wanted a bit of extra time to organise things which is why my buyer extended his offer.
The last couple of days she has been going on about renting this probate property and exchanging on it. No mention of the earlier plan. I have pushed her tonight for more information as I said I was going to ask solicitor to push ahead with exchange if we were now all agreed on a completion date. It turns out she plans to have estate agent draw up a rental contract and the solicitor's draw up a contract to rent until probate granted, but with exchange now with a legal contract drawn up in case it doesn't happen in a certain time period.

I'm absolutely blindsided. She has been adamant she is moving out, breaking the chain. Now this. We have 4 weeks to complete. I can not see whatever this is she is planning being done. The property is being held by solicitor's who to my knowledge aren't responding to her solicitor. So how she thinks this is going to happen, I don't know. She is being very vague in her answers and after everything I just want to walk away even though it means losing my buyer and not being able to move for quite some time - years really until rates come down and my wages increase. Or house prices settle. I dont feel it is a financially sensible decision to increase my mortgage at current rates.
So what the fuck do I do? My house (as is hers) is 70% packed up in boxes as we were days from exchange. It will break me to unpack it all. I'm absolutely physically and mentally exhausted from it all. I can't think straight.

Ask your estate agent if they have any cash buyers looking for property in your area. They might be able to find you another buyer rather than this flaky person.

Her buyer iant the problem. It is the seller of the house she wants who is causing problems.

OP, why do you keep saying she is going to break the chain? That means she is pulling her house out of it and not selling to you. If she told you that she is breaking the chain then you've known she wasnt going to sell to you.

Or do you mean she just wasnt going to buy another property but would still sell to you? That isnt breaking the chain.

If she isnt going to sell and you're not willing to find a place to stay with family or rent a place then you'll have to tell your buyer that you're pulling out.

It's the vendor the OP is buying from who is being flaky. Apply pressure by telling the EA selling her house that they will lose the sale if the chain collapses due to the vendor not keeping her word. Ask you solicitor to speak to hers about the situation.

My vendor said she will break the chain by moving in to rented or parents initially. I did say that in my OP.
If she doesn't, then the chain collapses. We are waiting on her to take action. The problem is with her purchase.

I will ring her EA tomorrow. Solicitor's haven't been great if I'm honest. Oddly enough my solicitor (paralegal actually) for my sale has been really good and easy to contact. My solicitor for my purchase has been very difficult to get hold of unhelpful along the way. Same bloody firm!

I know its not your fault, but why can't you be the one to move into rented or family? That way you still get to sell to your buyer, and can find somewhere else to buy yourself. Or, if your original vendor ever gets gerself sorted you can still go ahead, just after a few weeks in temporary accommodation. I wouldn't want to lose your buyer.

As above. Can't move for a few years if this doesn't proceed because the rates are too high now. It is this house or no house. So I wouldn't move out when I know I'd then be renting with no security for my children for what could be years.

I didn't expect them my vendors to move out. I assumed it had all fallen through. It was them who immediately said they would move out so the chain didn't collapse. Now they are messing me and my buyer around.

I know this is tough and stressful but I don’t understand this:

It is this house or no house

I thought both house prices and interest rates were stabilising now. I think things will look a whole lot better over the coming year.

It is likely to take weeks to explore the possibility of her being able to rent a property prior to purchase which hasn't yet been granted probate. Many solicitors would be absolutely against it. A relative had a sort of similar situation recently but with regard to staying in a property after completion and renting for a few months and neither solicitor was happy about the legalities of it (found an alternative option thankfully). Tenants have rights so if she moves in and then there's a problem with the purchase they'll have to get her out. Vendor needs to decide if she's going to break the chain and get out of the house you are buying or not - what she does re renting or living with family etc is nothing to do with you. You just need to know if she is going to exchange and complete by x date on her sale with vacant possession of her property. She either gets out or she doesn't - don't get bogged down in the noise.

Give the seller a hard deadline and be prepared to stick to it. It would be horrible to lose the transaction and have to unpack and put your plans on hold but at least you'd have a definite deadline so you know either way.

I have always tried to persuade clients to leave it as long as possible (I.e. I'd suggest making the deadline the natural deadline of your buyers mortgage offer expiring anyway) but only you know if you can handle living with the uncertainty until then.

I worked in commercial property for quite some time and we took over any transactions from our residential team that had become complex so they were all ones that took longer than the parties involved originally anticipated. I will say that every single matter had a moment where the client hit a wall and wanted to give up on the whole transaction. It is very normal to feel how you feel now - obviously the outcome (if you don't pull out now) will almost definitely depend on your seller's decisions but if it gives you any hope I only had two residential transactions that did fall through. The vast majority did get to completion and clients were always glad they stuck it out. For that reason my advice is always to hang on as long as possible.

Put the stress on your solicitors and the agents - you are paying them to take that on. I know it's easier said than done but I have always said to clients when they hit a wall to try and step away from the process, I'd call them if something material changed or I needed to know something urgently but in the meantime to trust that I was doing everything I could on their behalf and they needed a break.

Keeping everything crossed for you.

I don't think you should be the one to move to a rented property since you arent the one causing the problem either she moves out and you buy the house or the sale fallls through.

I suspect op has a mortgage offer at a much lower rate that she can get now

I say this kindly but you need to calm down. This is a really stressful situation but it is out of your hands and you/ she have 4 weeks.

4 weeks is more than enough time to explore the rental option.

It also sounds like you have been communicating far too much. If your stressing think how she feels! Her heads probably a scatter brain of potential options right now.

I would step back and tell her this is it for you. She has 4 weeks. If exchange doesn’t happen you cant buy. And that you don’t want to know the details of her working through this as it’s too stressful for you.

Goodluck

What the OP is describing IS called breaking the chain - i.e. someone in the chain breaks it (making it shorter) by agreeing to sell without simultaneously making an onward purchase (or agreeing to buy without simultaneously selling).

Just deciding to pull out and not selling or buying at all means the chain collapses. Which is very different from breaking the chain.

I would get your solicitor to tell her straight. She either moved into rented or whatever and you exchange the day you exchange with your buyer or you walk.

If I were you I would rent. House prices are coming down and you will find somewhere.