Choosing location - head or heart?

[kerala]

We are moving out of London. After a week we got an offer from a cash buyer who is renting. We are moving west for family/DH job and we love the idea of being less crammed in and ideally nearer countryside and away from the "urban issues" we have encountered here. I cant decide between these 2 locations:

Head says live in the big city

• no commute for DH
• can afford decent sized house but will be terraced
• have friends there
• I lived there before so feel abit been here done that about it.
• schools not great

Heart says live on edge of beautiful small city

• always dreamed of living there
• could live on the edge so have beautiful countryside on doorstep but still have city stuff within 2 miles
• houses are more expensive and smaller
• dh would have a commute (at least 40 mins)
• state schools fab

Have to decide this week really! Just needed to get it down. Any thoughts?

I think the main question is, is there any chance you could be pregnant? Because if you are, anything you think OR feel will just be the mental bizarreness of an hormonal freak, and you should sit quietly in the corner for nine months until you're in any way useful again. hair cut, choosing a child's name, buying a house - fatal if up the duff.

Assuming not pg, then I would say follow your heart. I bought one house on the head basis and I could not sell it fast enough. Current house is a money pit in a wildly inconvenient location for work (commute is over 2 hours each way), but I love the life style and I hope never to have to leave it.

The biggest downside sounds like dh's commute so I think that he really has to love the idea of the move too, otherwise he will really resent it.

Last comment, do you know much about the area you want to move to - is your idea of what it will be like realistic?

Thanks for responses. No not preg! Don't even have that excuse! Though agree that hormones can lead to funny choices - dd was nearly called mirabel.

Yes not sure what the lifestyle will be like exactly but seems a busy village (I was brought up in a large village though not this one so have an idea of the lifestyle). And love the idea of having countryside within walking distance and dd walking through a Jane Austen stage set type village to the local school. With the city a 1.5 mile walk/bus away so the best of both worlds...sigh.

id go with your heart.

Go with the country I love being in the countryside, best move I ever made.

Reality of living in the country can have downsides though - lots of mud! car permanently covered in cowshit, long way to drive to any decent shops, less people to be friends with, less in the way of things to do with kids such as swimming pools and facilities, fewer playgroups, libraries and so on, no public transport, etc etc.

I live in the countryside and I love it, it's beautiful, I see the most gorgeous scenery everyday and my kids go to a fantastic rural school, but I have to say yes there are downsides including a LONG commute for DH and the things mentioned above.

In most decisions I say go with your heart. It sounds like you are ready for a change of scene and something different.

But I also have to say be pragmatic and be realistic. Could you maybe rent a house for year and see how it goes? You might find the reality not quite the same as you thought.

oh Kerala, we aren't moving..yet, but i often think about that dilemma - we love living in the middle of a city now because dh can walk to work, we hardly need the car etc but i was brought up in devon and loooong for the countryside and we often talk about moving out of the city. I would go with your heart but for us i think the commute would be the deciding factor - will your dh mind that?
Is the small city Exeter btw?! (of course you don't have to say..) - perfect location in lots of ways - nice city, countryside on doorstep, close to the sea.. that was the nearest city to where i grew up and a lovely place to bring up kids now i think. All the best with your decision making!

both sound pretty good

id start looking at houses in both - a quiet road in the city area might be ideal?

the 40 min commute thing can be a big deal - not able to help at breakfast, not back at bedtime that sort of thing - so it can be a real benefit to you for your dp not to commute too

Do you need to buy in either immediately? Why not rent in country and see how it goes? Doesn't look as if you will be missing much in terms of property inflation.

I say go with Heart. Agree with suggestion of renting first. 40mins....I don't consider that a long commute.

heart - 2 miles is nothing, 40 mins commute is not that bad, schools are v important.
plus your list is biased to heart , so you must have subconciously made up your mind.

Well offer in on old atmospheric house in the middle of the village. Fingers crossed....will be stretching ourselves to the limit financially but figure its somewhere we hope we could stay for years and extend the house in time when we have abit more money. Yes I am probably mad as could buy somewhere less characterful but more practical in a nice bit of the city but there you go. The lure of open countryside and village schools is too strong.

DH preference is to live in the middle of nowhere so he is happy to do the commute over living in another city.

Thanks for responses!

very exciting! good luck