Cannot solve the problem of where to live. What would you do?

[Helpmefixmylife]

One preschool child, one reception age child. Deposit of about £250k, reckon we can buy to the value of £800-£850k. Both self employed and work online.

Currently live in an unaffordable part of London (Victoria Park Village). We love London. But we can’t afford what we want in our area.

I am sick of daydreaming about winning the lotto so we can stay in our area. I think it’s stopping me from facing reality!

Where would you move to?

We love a friendly community. I enjoy living somewhere vibrant (been in east London for me for years and years but we’re not committed to it). I also like multicultural places as we have a diverse family background and I want my kids to see that in their community as well as at home.

I also want somewhere where there’s great stuff for kids - good schools, scout groups when they’re older, lots of activities, etc.

Help!!! I really am completely stuck. Everyone I know who has moved to Leyton etc has then moved on a few years later. I want to live somewhere that people are happy to stick around while their kids grow up.

If we stay in London, then where? If we leave, then where? And do we decide it’s all about location and stay in a flat? Or find a family home somewhere cheaper?

We also qualify as digital nomads and could potentially move to a country that offers the visa (I’m strongly tempted by this!). So we’re not bound to the uk!

What would you do if you were me?!?!?

Giving this a hopeful bump!

You have to search really hard in yourselves and decide if location or property matters more. You could presumably stay in a flat in your area?

My personal view is that the idea that kids have to grow up in a house is a nonsense, across the planet some people have wonderful family lives in flats and other people have very difficult family lives in houses. Do not get distracted by 'lifestyle' but think really hard about your life.

No one can tell you what to do - you have so many good options! What does your partner think?

Perhaps decide what type of house you want long term, decide your budget and then look at areas that fit your budget.

Make a list of must have/desirable/ not bothered about.

Do you drive or will you need public transport?
Do you want to be in a town or city or more rural?

We live in a 3 bed flat in a city centre. Now mine are older (teens) it is great as no lifts everywhere - also was great for school catchments both primary and secondary. Just for thought. When they were small the park was nearby and they spent time playing after primary school at the little park after school.

I think there’s a lot to be said for staying in London in a flat. I don’t think many places in the UK offer what you love about London. I live in a city that is a popular post-London move and there is nowhere you can live that has a diverse community plus great secondary schools. It’s one or the other - depressingly. If you care about education, think
long and hard about secondary schools - my DC goes to an ok state secondary and the standards are low, esp compared to their fantastic state primary. I would love to live somewhere with access to brilliant state secondaries.

I'd buy a big flat. You will have to go a long way out to buy a family house.

You could probably buy an ex LA or small house a bit closer but I'd go to a decently proportioned flat in a better location rather than a poky house

It's quite hard to find places in London where people stick around forever these days due to affordability, schooling etc.

I would focus first on the primary school aspect & what property you want. Will you move again for secondary or are there options nearby. Happy in a flat?

I had a large flat with a garden but moved to z4 ly for more space which I have found invaluable. I wanted a decent high street 10 mins walk away. I also wanted more activities on my doorstep for older dc eg sports & scouts. Where I was has lots for the primary & baby years but then peters out or involves travel. I didn't consider leaving London simply because I am a Londoner & parents are getting to that age so need to be fairly close. It was also prompted because my eldest starts secondary soon so I'm getting ready for that & I got sick of everyone leaving where we were living!

Location, location, location. Nothing wrong with living in a flat.

I would suggest Bristol, as its vibrant and diverse. However some areas of the city and surrounding areas are often as expensive as parts of London.

Location is important as someone who grew up in London but so is space. I had friends who lived in parts of z3 where they were quite far walk from a train & friends who couldn't have sleepovers due to space constraints. It's hard to get the balance & need changes with time. I loved the flat when the dc were small but we outgrew it. We wanted a garden office to separate work from the home & we needed a bigger garden for that.

What do you think of Walthamstow? Having lived there and near where you are now I think they're a similar vibe but Walthamstow is cheaper.

From what you say I think you'd miss London if you left.

Kentish Town & Tufnell Park are diverse & family friendly (& a bit cheaper than Victoria Park village) if you are open to looking in North London? Some lovely Victorian houses & Hampstead Heath nearby

Lots of good points on here! Thank you to everyone who commented!

I honestly don’t know about the space / location compromise. Some days I think it doesn’t matter about the size of our place, I want to live somewhere I love. Other days I want the space!

I also don’t like feeling like we’re the friends who aren’t successful enough (maybe my own stuff?!) that comes with living in wealthier parts of London.

I like Tufnell Park / Kentish Town. It didn’t occur to me our money might go further here. I will look at Rightmove!

While I also like Walthamstow, it seems a little young: full of people pre-kids or people with babies. Or maybe that’s all I see whenever I go there!

South Leytonstone, specifically the streets near the excellent Jenny Hammond primary. Far nicer than Walthamstow imho - and certainly nicer than Leyton. A lot going on, great community, nice bars, pubs and cafes. An easy bike ride to Vic Park if you get 'homesick'. It was our neighbourhood for 20 years until late 2021 and we absolutely loved living there. 700k would get you a nice 3-bed with garden.

Those age kids - I would seriously explore moving abroad for a few years before school gets serious and while the uk goes through its current downturn.

Sheffield? You could buy a good sized house in an area with brilliant schools. Walking distance to the city centre and the peak district. It is about 3 hours to kings cross on the train and less than an hour to Leeds or Manchester if you fancy a big city fix. Pretty multicultural depending on which bit you live in.

I've lived in London for years and I think you sound like you'd be happiest staying in London, and probably as central as you can afford, so that would mean compromising for a flat. I'd look for a share of freehold conversion with some garden space, and avoid ex-LA due to the risk of major works bills.

Just have a browse of Rightmove for the right bedroom/budget criteria and see what comes up. Lots of interesting and vibrant areas are within budget - Kentish Town as mentioned, Camden, N7, Clapham, Camberwell, Wapping, Bethnal Green, Queen's Park, even small flats in places like Belsize Park and Maida Vale.

With young dc and that budget I would focus on schools, and try to be close to good secondaries as well as primaries - to avoid uprooting again in five years and having to rebuild social networks, and cost of moving. Although if your dcs are bright and/or religious, distance may not matter as much.

Echo what @waterbury has suggested.

Sounds like you're Londoner.

Look at schools /catchments /admission policies

Most other countries don't have houses in/near city centres, it's all apartment blocks, so most families live in flats - just look at Paris, Berlin, New York, Rome, Stockholm and pretty much every other city. London is very much the exception. If you like where you live, I would stay put and just live in a flat like the vast majority of happy city dwellers worldwide.

A budget of £850k and thinking of leaving London, where you love? WHY! You are so rich compared to the vast vast majority of people in the city.

I would stay in London. If you must, move to zone 5 or 6 but why leave? London and everything it has to offer you and your children is worth more than a spare bedroom.