What to consider when searching for forever home

[yellowduckredduck]

I appreciate this is very personal but my husband and I are currently viewing houses, looking to upsize to our 'forever' home, and I'm interested to know what people find really important. What could you not live without? What do you wish your home had?

We've recently moved. Our "must have" criteria:

• 4 beds
• Detached
• 2 reception rooms
• Energy efficient
• Utility room
• Decent size garden with side access
• Garage/garden shed
• Off road parking for 2, preferably 3, cars
• Built-in wardrobes and cupboards for storage
• Rural
• Large kitchen/diner
• Good school catchment area

Things that were desirable but not dealbreakers:

• Woodburner
• Great walking on the doorstep, not a drive away
• Walking distance from a village shop/pub/church
• Paved outdoor entertaining space

We got it all. I feel immensely grateful and we absolutely love it here. At present, there's nothing I would change.

I think you need to work out what's important to you.

The first one being what type of location:
City
town
Village
Countryside

We opted for village but with great commuter links - Cross rail, Heathrow

Schools - both primary and secondary. We didn't want to move again. You need to do your research on this, particularly admissions criteria.

Space - is the house big enough to do what we want with it eventually. We bought probate, the layout was awful but we knew it had potential for everything we wanted
Big kitchen diner
Separate lounge
2 offices
4 beds
garden
Parking
Garage

Draw up your own list - location usurps most stuff TBH

I am looking for my forever home but I am on a small budget so mine are:

• safe and quiet area
• no pub, school, restaurant or other potentially noisy premises close by
• neighbouring houses are well kept with tidy gardens (a good sign that neighbours will be decent people)
• close enough to train station, shops & GP surgery
• a garden, even if it is just a small one
• no sign of structural issues (damp, dodgy roof)
• 2 bed at least
• bath and shower
• no busy main road, especially as I am planning to get a cat and a dog.

So I think for me it is more about the location. The house can need work and be small-ish but safety, a quiet environment and walking distance from train/shops are a must.

''@Roselilly36 · 22/12/2022 07:23
I don’t think any home is ever forever''

Well, yes of course a home can be your 'forever home': people simply mean that they have in mind the place they will live in into their old age until they either die or need to move to move into a care home.

Pointless to argue about the term.

I'm guessing OP wants to know everyone else's priorities in case there's things she hasn't considered. Obviously there are lots that won't be applicable to her, but plenty she hasn't thought about.

Potential was also top of my list. My house isn't exactly as I want it to be but it can be. I might never get it exactly as I want, but it's nice to know the space Is there/layout can be changed when/if I get round to it. I'd hate to be stuck somewhere I'm not 100% on with no room for improvement.

I’m in my forever home and won’t move again.

It is terraced and doesn’t have a drive or garage -that’s not important to me.

What I wish it had, but doesn’t -a downstairs loo. Ideally I’d like a downstairs bathroom with shower.

Important that the ground floor is completely stepless.

Walking distance, or public transport, to all amenities.

The most important thing for me is location. - I like to be walking distance to school, the shops and the train station. After that a big, modern kitchen would be my priority and a garden.

Don’t understand the concept of ‘forever home’ when you have kids that have not left home. We have a home that the kids have known as home since tweens/teens/adults but why would we keep such a home when the kids have moved out? It costs a fortune to heat/cool/maintain grounds. The kids uni/grad jobs also tie us to an extremely expensive capital city.

When all of our kids have left uni and have footholds in careers, and have organised foothold properties (they are working towards this, and is why we have them all living at home still), why on earth would we keep a large property? Madness!

Surely a ‘forever property’ is what you buy when kids have left home? At that point we will sell and buy somewhere appropriate size and maintenance. Will happily spring for an appropriate size Air B&B or a similar rental a few times a year for all to get together once kids have left/partnered/have kids etc. Stayed at an Air B&B recently with extended family, slept 16, had adults and kids areas, pool, great location walking distance to pub with family bistro etc. Surely that’s the go once kids have left home and you all get together? Means a more equal footing for all as well as opposed to mum/dad’s house and mum/dad’s rules!

I see forever home as the home I expect to live most of my life in and only move from if I absolutely have to. Plenty stay in the family home till they pass.

I wish my home had:

A utility room so I had somewhere to keep the ironing board and laundry basket.

A cloakroom at the front of the house with space for coats/shoes (we have one but it's off the kitchen at the back which isn't practical)

I'm glad my home has:

A downstairs toilet near the front door so visitors don't have to go traipsing through the house to use it.

A full size bath (I don't have a bath that often, but it's lovely after a muddy winter walk)

Two showers, in case one is broken like it has been this week.

100% this. A neighbourhood which locks in a car-bound existence would be miserable, particularly for teenagers (and their parents-turned-taxi-drivers) or if you ever lose your driving licence for health or other reasons.

The main factor for me in choosing my "forever home" was having a reasonable array of shops, cafes, restaurants, pubs, a library, and other facilities within a pleasant 15 minute walk -- as well as good cycling and public transport links for when I (or, when older, my children) want to go further afield.

Thank you all so much for your replies!
My apologies for causing outrage with the term 'forever', I meant, as many appreciated, somewhere which will be a comfortable family home until our young children fly the nest. But actually a good point was made about heat pumps etc, as we have primarily been looking at period homes, some listed, which are beautiful but obviosuly not very energy efficient. Interesting how few people mentioned character in a home. Maybe it's a nice to have but ultimately the space is more important?
We just viewed somewhere which didn't have parking, which I thought I'd be ok with, but so interesting to see how that was on almost everyone's must-have list.
I've also not been that fussed about S/SW facing garden, but perhaps this is because I've never had a garden which faces South so haven't seen the benefits of this.

It's really hard to imagine why things are valuable during periods in your life that you yourself don't value them.
It wasn't until I had a dog that I noticed which shops and pubs put out bowls of water, and which ones had a place to clip your dog's harness to when you pop inside. Now I notice it all the time - even though I no longer have a dog.
Likewise with kids - I never truly appreciated the venues that had decent, clean bathrooms with baby change facilities and shelves within arms reach for wipes, until I started needing to use them. Now my kids are grown, I still notice and have a soft spot for venues that make the extra effort.
For homes - whilst you are fit and independent, walking is great. When you no longer are, cars are essential (and therefore, so is parking). I still prefer a walk-in shower, but I wouldn't trade my memories of when my kids were toddlers and played in the bath for anything. I've never used it, and probably never will ... but I'm glad we ended up with one. A nice view - either of a garden, or from an elevated position, is worth a fair bit, even though I leave home in darkness each morning for work and get back at night, so haven't actually seen the view for 3 months!
But the single biggest factor to consider - even though most people hate to think about it (and for many this eventuality may never happen) - is the prospect of becoming mobility impaired and needing somewhere that can facilitate single-story living. That means a downstairs toilet/wet room and a layout that allows for a private room on the same floor. It's not just old age that could bring this about - people fall off motorcycles, horses, and skis. Caring for someone and negotiating stairs every time they need to poo is so horrible I genuinely think building regulations should be amended to require all homes to be designed with accessibility in mind.

Must haves for our forever home:

Three bedrooms and one office/guest room (big enough for a desk and sofa bed).
Off road parking.
Medium garden.
A fireplace/log burner.

My must-haves were:

• a sunny garden that isn’t overlooked by more than 2 neighbours.
• Walking distance to somewhere that sells bread/milk
• walking distance to some kind of public transport
• mains gas central heating! Not that Calor tank thing.
• low crime
• not a noisy through road
• Quiet
• Hospital within 30 min easy drive (forever home = grow old there = frequent hospital trips).

Ps for the forever home do think about what will happen when you can no longer drive. Could you ride a mobility scooter to a local shop, or is the road fast and dangerous? Etc.

Is this realistic? A mobility scooter? What proportion of the population will rely on a mobility scooter in old age? 5%? Less?

yes of course if you want a house that will last though old age then a remote six story house is likely not going to for the bill. And yes public transport links, the ability to add a downstairs WC and a close doctor and chemist are sensible things to look for. But checking it’s possible to use a mobility scooter seems extreme. Did you go out and do a dry run? Check the pavements?

I'm on my second forever home. I'm currently scouting for my third.

You could just buy whatever you like right now, I suppose. But those who anticipate future circumstances better might be able to remain in situ for longer. They may have one fewer move over their lifetime. They would probably save £50k in stamp duty, estate agent fees, etc. They would have a bigger estate to leave to their heirs. Thinking for the long term is why some families are wealthier than others - over the generations it compounds. The “I want what I want right now” mentality traps people in debt and leads to eventual poverty. My advice - find a really happy rich old person who has lived in their house for 50 years and try to replicate what they did.

I think 'character' can mean many different things to different people but ultimately you have to pay for period features so will depend on your budget. For some people, just adding a new front door or a log burner will do the trick.

During my house hunting I discovered I hated 90s/00s architecture - just soulless, small, badly built houses with tiny rooms.

It's great if you know there is a certain style that you love

Living in one house for 50 years is my personal nightmare. So boring.

Location. You can change pretty much everything else, but if the location is wrong it won't be somewhere you want to stay.

Utility room with space for laundry management and kitchen utensils

Built in wardrobes

Off-road parking for at least two cars side by side

Ideally no neighbours looking into the garden/property

Proper insulation and underfloor heating

Interesting how few people mentioned character in a home. Maybe it's a nice to have but ultimately the space is more important

Character is great, but for most people it's the first thing to be compromised, because it makes very little (or no) difference to your day to day quality of life. Location, space, facilities, good neighbours etc. are 100x more important.

We live in a village with lots of period houses that give the area charm and character. I like living here and admiring the houses and then returning to my well insulated, warm, low-maintenance house.