Moving 250+ due to financial/family reasons

[Minimalme]

I haven't really slept so apols if the deliriousness shows.

We have just decided to move 260 miles up north to live near PiL.

We have 3 dc, each with ASD but our middle child is severely disabled and currently not a great fit for the two tier SN school system in our County.

I became a ft carer four years ago and we had to sell up this summer and move into rented. Our small pot of equity is being eaten up by expensive rent.

DH is having a mental health crisis and for the first time in our 20 years together, can't face going into work today.

We have enough to buy a terraced house outright and will have support from PiL. We don't have family where we are.

I am so scared. And excited. And terrified. And happy we might finally find security again after so long.

Crucially, PiL are lovely and I really think our kids will benefit from living in a small coastal town.

We either move now or the small pot of equity won't be big enough to achieve this.

Any advice about the next steps?

What are the schools like in the new area? Are EHCPs involved?

How old are PILs? Will they be willing to help out?

Will DH be able to find a job, reasonable salary?

Sounds like a great plan OP, I’d say go for it!!
I can’t see any downsides to your decision.
will it be relatively easy for your DH to find work? Whereabouts are you looking to buy? I’m from the NE and could maybe give some pointers…

I would say 'do it' too. You have no ties to where you are and you will have help / support from PIL.

Family help makes such a difference, and being mortgage-free will lessen the strain on your DH.

Do not move to south Yorkshire with a disabled child. Services are totally fucked. Where are you relocating to?

Go for it! Start the buying process now, can you stay with pil whilst it progresses? If so give notice on your rental at the earliest opportunity.

Gather all your sen related documents and speak to the education department where you are moving - it may take time to settle all 3 kids into school but in the long term life will be better.

I've relocated twice with my children (one has asd) and it is stressful but it's worth it

We relocated last year from abroad with a child with (now) an EHCP and in practical terms it’s been a lot less painful than expected. But I would definitely put school finding first. Have you been able to research your options? I know it’s not a decision you’ll have made casually.

We moved 200 miles last year up north for better quality of life and to be near friends (have no family support).

It's been stressful but also well worth it. I'd check out school places and availability of support. We got a place without problems at a lovely school but that's just for one child without any special needs.

I would absolutely go for it. Different circumstances, but we moved quite a long way away to be nearer our family (we're also mortgage free) and it worked for us. You absolutely need family support - I would get things going as quickly as you can - it sounds as though it will be better all round, including for your husband. Fortune favours the bold - good luck op.

Be aware if you move LA the new LA will review the EHCP and potentially reassess, amend or even cease to maintain it. There’s no guarantee DC will receive the same support via their EHCP in the new LA, and if they do you may well have to appeal for it - with the long waits for Tribunal at the moment it is a risk.

Absolutely worth it. Have you looked at the schools near where you want to? Will your DH be able to find work or will you both be carers.

im also parent to a child with additional needs and had to give up work to be a carer. My DH had to stop work due to mental health but has fortunately been able to start taking his pension early.

How long do you have left on your current rental agreement? If it’s not long I’d be tempted to find a short term rental near you PIL so that you can more easily house hunt and get the process started for getting the kids into schools. As you’ll be mortgage free you’ll be in a good position to buy so can hopefully secure a good deal. Good luck with the move, it sounds like it’ll be the best move for your family.

Yes go for it OP. Best of luck for you and your family. Sounds like PiL are a really great support. Exciting times ahead. xx