How long did it take you to settle?

[Tnc]

I moved into a new house five weeks ago, about an hour away from our old house. I'm still homesick. I miss the neighbours - even the annoying ones - and the fact that we could walk to restaurants/shops/hairdresser/dog groomer/vet/gp surgery/garage (we're much more rural now and everything is a drive away). I miss being on the motorway in five minutes and having a train station nearby - even though we didn't actually use it very much.

My husband loves the new place and I feel like such a downer because I can't stop fixating on all the things that make it so much less convenient and familiar, but it feels like the admin stuff falls to me so it doesnt inconvenience him anyway. In so many ways, it's lovely and people seem friendly but I just miss my old home.

Add to that the dark and the weather, and the fact that one of my parents is terminally ill, and I'm struggling.

How long did it take for your new house to properly feel like home and for you to stop comparing it to your old one?

Invite people over for Christmas, a nice Christmas in your new place may well help.

old house, about 3 years. Didn’t hate it, it just didn’t feel like home…..until I’d got the garden the way I wanted it, put up pictures….

New house, Honestly, about 5 minutes. But it was so much nicer than old one. I think going away then coming back helps. Especially if you set it up so it looks the way you want when you get back,

having people over really helps.

also we got a dog as soon as we moved in which distracted us from everything….

So sorry to read one of your parents have a terminal illness .

Very early days OP, my advice would be to focus on making the house yours, get some decorating done, think about the reasons why you moved, and why you chose the house. You are only an hour away from where you used to live, that’s not far geographically but it sounds like the lack of facilities & convenience is what you are struggling with.

We relocated 3hrs from where we used to live 20mths ago, it took me about 3mths for the new city to feel like home. It has been a very positive move for us, and our adult DS’.

The stress of your parents illness and the stress of the move can’t be easy to cope with. Take one day at a time.

Wishing you all the best for the future OP..

@Tnc I am sorry your parent is terminally ill, that in itself is enormously upsetting and stressful so it will affect your overall well being, including how you feel about your new house and most other aspects of your life.

I moved 18 months ago and now feel settled, but that's down to getting the house how I want it and not feeling like "new girl" on the street now more new people have moved in. Your new house sounds wonderful and I'd love to be more rural, you are lucky, it just takes adjustment to change, which will come and you'll love it there.

Unfortunately, I never settled in the picturesque country cottage my husband owned. I made it look magazine perfect (it was featured in several of the main monthly magazines), but it being so isolated, in an enchanted wooded valley a shortish hike from some of the most amazing Cornish cliffs and beaches, made it impossible for me to relax there. There was always the 'no milk' moment, followed by a half hour round trip to the nearest village shop. Proper supermarkets 1 hour round trip. In the countryside, walking is a huge effort, boots, survayence map - not a leisurely stroll once around the block, as you will get killed on narrow, winding country lanes. A drive into any city had to be part of a holiday. A single car coming down your tiny lane always sounds louder than constant traffic in town and feels like an earthquake. I was always scared a crazy axe murderer would come at night- crazy as crime statistics are so much higher in towns and cities, but remote living remains spooky and eerie to me. We are now settled in a town, where I settled in 1 hour, literally, even though the house we bought was a toral wreck and after 2 years hard work is still a 50%building site. I can walk to kids school, to the daily market, butcher, greengrocer, post office, doctor, hospital. I have a local train station that gets me to London in 2 hours and to the a7irport in 1 hour, so I know I can get to my parents when they fall ill.