“I’ve just moved house and I’m struggling”…….Anyone else?

[SoosanCarter]

I thought I’d start a thread for those of us who have just moved and are overwhelmed by what needs to be done. I know I’m expecting too much but I can’t help it.

last week I moved house to a different part of the country.
The house isn’t a fixer-up, more of a doer-up.

The kitchen is a homage to the eighties, the en-suite is very tired (with carpet!) and connects to not the nicest bedroom. So I need to move the access.
Admittedly the house is very clean, but the previous owner obviously didn’t understand what vacant possession is. She left her toilet brushes! Crap in the garage and in the loft. It needs a skip. She was very elderly and probably thought she was helping.

I know I’m trying to run before I can walk, but I’m someone who wants things done yesterday. I’ve organised appointments with kitchen and bathroom fitters and a carpet place.

I wake up in the mornings and long for organisation and sanity. I don’t regret the move but I’m just feeling so overwhelmed. I can’t find places to put stuff.
I leave messages with handymen but they don’t reply.

I’m due my bus pass in a few months; last time I moved was 27 years ago into a new build and it was just fun.

Would anyone like to join me?

Hi OP, I'm with you. We moved nearly 2 years ago & had planned to get everything done in a year but probably only about 65% of the way there. Slightly different situation to you as we both work full time & have a 10 year old DD but I'm getting to the stage where I'm really fed up & might just bin a load of stuff!

Our house was supposed to need minimal work but so far we've done: new boiler & all new radiators (but second boiler in our annex being done next week), new kitchen (in the first month as the old one was awful) but still need to sort the floor, all new windows & doors, 1 bathroom nearly there, a couple of other rooms decorated but not 100% finished & total transformation of the garden

I think notebooks & lists are your friend here to record what needs doing by who in each room & definitely make sure the whole house things (like plumbing & electrical work) get done 1st or they'll mess up other work. Also have 1 room that's nice & you can relax in at the end of the day as an escape to forget about everything that needs doing so you have a beak/some respite from it all. I also like following some fabulous people on Instagram like Sophie Robinson, although it does mean I suffer more with procrastination!

Good luck & congratulations on your new home! 🍾🙂

You'll get there in the end. Try to remember what it was that made you like the house in the first place and all the plans you had.
I missed our old house for years and am only just getting to the point where we have a nice home as we've done this place up very small bit by very small bit. Almost everything we've done is what I "knew" needed doing when we viewed it.

I think it’s the kitchen that’s really getting me down. I’m trying to imagine a lovely new one. It’s also dark so I’m thinking of knocking through to the dining room. More expense! I’ll feel better once the kitchen planners have been.
I also brought some light fittings with me that will help make it feel more like home, when I can find an electrician.

Thats the gist of it really, it doesn’t feel like my home.

My bestie lives about 25 minutes away, but I can’t whinge anymore to her, she thinks I’m being negative, which I am!

I feel your pain, I'm in the middle of it now. We moved here in Feb knowing it needed a new boiler but other than the woodchip and anaglypta it was neutral and inoffensive.

Once we were in, the enormous task of bringing this 1960s house up to date is overwhelming. Then then things that didn't work properly or broke, we've had to replace the: no pressure shower/leaking stop tap/ leaking kitchen tap/ stinking washing machine/ fridge freezer. It also needed new radiators, internal doors and a rewire.

It'll be a full refurb once we're done but we now need to save for the kitchen, bathrooms and roof.

Good luck OP.

I think you should strip back your feelings and go back to the reasons why joy bought the house in the first place. Location, size, garden etc. Anything else can be replaced and renovated but you can’t change its location. I would enjoy thinking how much different you can make it and positively engage in that process rather than thinking negatively about it. Even if it had a brand new kitchen in it now it may not have been to your taste anyhow.

Why you (not why joy)

I hear you OP! We bought our first flat in 2019, an elderly lady had lived there before us and it was very much a 1970's vibe. It had been very well maintained but just outdated. We had to replace an old back boiler with a combi, get a full re-wire, rip polystyrene tiles off 2 bedroom ceilings, peel A LOT of textured wall paper and wood chip that had been painted over.

Currently we only have 2 rooms completed but those rooms make me so happy every time I walk in them.

I'd love to get everything done straight away but the truth is we just don't have the money so we are doing it bit by bit. Can't decide what to do next, probably the hallway but with all the wood chip to peal (on the walls and textured paper on the ceiling), I just can't face it!! 😭

So at the end of this long post, no real life but a lot of sympathy and 🍷

You’re absolutely right. One of the bathrooms was “done” about 8 years ago, but has a bidet, no shower attachment over the bath, which is has symmetrical ends so nothing to anchor onto when in it. IYSWIM. So replacing it would be a ridiculous waste of money.

Don't rush to do stuff. I've been in your position a couple of times - we relocated last year and are now renovating the house we bought in the summer.

Both times we used the survey to create a priority list of stuff to do - so anything dangerous or really disruptive came first. So anything structural, rewiring, heating system.
Then anything layout wise that made sense to do early before changing flooring etc (first house we knocked the separate loo into the bathroom).

Some stuff like the kitchen we couldn't afford to do initially and it actually worked better living with it for a couple of years as we got a better idea of how we used the space and made different decisions to those we'd have made if we'd done it immediately.

Oh and both times we bought from elderly widower and houses last had work done in 1970s or 80s.

We moved in in September. With rising costs we couldnt afford to get everything ready before we moved in.

We have no flooring in our hallway and are living in the downstairs rooms. We have no access to upstairs and dont know when we'll be able to get in there.

We're trying to finish the main rooms - kitchen is almost done, bathroom is nearly there, the kids playroom is done and we have 2 very basic bedrooms - no skirting, no door handles, no curtains/blinds. I painted the kids bedroom this week and hope I can paint ours soon.

So much to do and so little time and money.

We've been there and I feel your pain OP.
We moved into our current house in 2018 and I'd say it stopped feeling like a stressful burden after 3 years. And that included getting our biggest jobs done before all of the chaos with tradesman and materials started. It's harder now.
It's a marathon, not a sprint, although I'm an impatient person like you.
If I were you, I'd get a skip as my first job and get rid of everything of the last owner that you can.

Oh I can sympathise! We also thought we would just need to redecorate really. We’re 8 months in, there’s soooo much to do it’s overwhelming. When I get really down I try to think of things we have done - new bathroom, old one was sooo gross and didn’t have a shower just an adapter thing on it. First time having a proper shower was amazing and has made me happier. Take lots of pictures, I did this and look at what it looked like before when I start to feel really negative about it.

Also solidarity to the previous poster that has woodchip- we do as well. Started stripping it this week and it’s awful!!

Oh and we also had a toilet brush left (amongst other various tat), that had a pool of poo and wee in the bottom. It was vile

Yes I'm so glad there are others in the same boat as me! We moved about 5 weeks ago and have had to fix a flood in the kitchen from some dodgy plumbing and spend thousands fixing a serious damp issue that the surveyors somehow didn't pick up on and the previous owners didn't care to tell us about. The whole house is painted a horrible mushroomy colour that I can't do anything about until 10 weeks after the damp has been fixed. Our living and dining room are out of service so we are all squashed into the conservatory. And I feel bad moaning about it because it's such a lovely house, it's just getting me down not being able to fix it up as quickly as I want!

This was me 18 months ago. Avocado green downstairs loo and upstairs red bathroom suite. Pandemic meant prices were (I think they continue to be) crazy.
I couldn't get one consistent decent builder and I've paid over the odds to get the house to where it is now. As pp said, think through why you bought it and write a good checklist. I used MyBuilder and CheckaTrade a lot. Often paid more as I went with people who were responsive and seemed reliable.

Sometimes I'd cry in the early days. It was painful. But the almost finished product looks good. Home is warm and cosy and my boys love it. Had lots of compliments from trick or treating parents from just the refreshed kerb appeal. Hoping my 'end state' post gives you some comfort.

Both times we used the survey to create a priority list of stuff to do - so anything dangerous or really disruptive came first. So anything structural, rewiring, heating system.

It might have been helpful if our (full) survey had mentioned some of the things wrong with our house before we bought it .
Extensive damp due to inappropriate and damaged cement render. Leaking roofs. Plumbing and electric issues.
So far we have spent £25K with at least another £20k to spend, and that’s without any actual internal refurbishment.
The location and garden is lovely though .

Thanks everyone. I can talk on here like I can’t with friends IRL.
I’ve got a reliable roofing company coming as there were a few minor issues in the survey.
An aerial chap came yesterday as the aerial wasn’t working. He got into the loft (loft hatch is broken) and I could hear him chortling about the aerial situation up there.

I am SO with you. We moved last Friday into a fixer upper. It's mostly cosmetic but what I stupidly didn't consider was that, as we bought from a landlord, literally everything is broken (including the appliances we paid for, obvs). We are prioritising painting throughout and new carpets/floors and curtains/blinds, then hoping to do the master bathroom next spring. Kitchen is going to I have to wait longer than I wanted it to.
I know it will be nice eventually but I feel really unsettled. The morning routine of getting the kids to school is taking a while to adjust to as we live further than we did before. It's hard to get all the boxes unpacked and when we know we'll have decorators in soon. And we don't have the right furniture to fit the space at the moment.
Any tips on making yourself feel at home would be welcomed!!

@megosaurusrex can you tell me what damp issues you found? I think we've got some problems that need to be explored too. I've got a guttering specialist to come and look at it next Friday as I can see the issues brought up at the survey coincide with the guttering problems (which for some reason they didn't suggest as the cause)

Yuko, that’s how I feel. I’m getting new carpets in two bedrooms and the study, before I unpack, just to make it easier. The other two bedrooms and hall stairs and landing will have to wait until after the bathroom project.

Completed end of august we bought a fixer upper. Luckily we're able to continue to rent our current place whilst work can be done on our house. Didn't start until mid October.
We're having the WC knocked through to make a family bathroom upstairs. The chimney breast taken out. Converting some of the porch area into a downstairs shower/toilet utility area. Boiler moved from bedroom to downstairs utility room. All windows replaced and French doors. Having repairs to radiators plugs sunk into the walls. Floor boards tightening up. Guttering and fascia's. We're looking at about 20k spend. That's not even with painting and decorating and furniture. We're hoping to be done by the end of the month.

It'll take time but don't lose hope in why you bought your property. Keep your vision and put your feelings to the side for now. Easier said than done.

@YukoandHiro I found putting house plants everywhere helped a little. Made the house look less rank. And trying to concentrate on having one room that was finished as soon as possible, so we have at least one space that is ‘done’

Having been in this position in the past, my advice is maybe counter intuitive but if I was in the same position again, I'd do the living room first. It got left to last because it was just cosmetic changes like carpet and paint, but actually having one good room where it is nice to come and sit and feel at home is a godsend.