Which of these three options?

[HouseWhatToDo]

Our DCs have left home.
We don't have parents to look after.

This post is not a stealth boast, or any kind of boast, we have never had financial help. Our first house was a 2 up, 2 down repossession with no central heating. Interest rates were 9%, we've had hard times too.

There is nothing wrong with where we live, we bought the house, a standard 15 year old 5 bed detached.
It was a good place to bring up the DCs. We moved here when they were teens. It's a nice area.

For me and DH? There is nothing here for us. We have no friends here, when we moved here we were never going to stay.

We had the house valued recently, we have 75% - 80% equity.
We have additional debt of £30k because I had breast cancer in 2018. I always thought that if I recovered I would go back to work. Nope.
Since I was well enough I've had to do contract work.
Before I got sick we were both earning £50k. Now DH earns £100k + bonus and I earn £28k approx.

I'm late 40s, DH is 50.

Do we:

1. Move to a house we love, possibly larger, in a different area, where we want to be? We would still have at least 60% equity or more. Pros: House we love, area we like. We would try to consolidate our debt (this is included in the 60% calculation), our mortgage would be about the same as our current outgoings. Cons: interest rates?

2. Stay here, build an extension and conservatory, new double glazing, possibly build into the roof, landscape the garden, consolidate debts? We would have approx 70% equity.
   Pros: we stay put, no moving faff. We know the area, the house is better, we'd lose the debt.
   Cons: still don't love the area, still no social life, interest rates?

3. Stay for now, consolidate debt, do nothing to the house? Would still have around 75% equity.
   Pros: things are marginally better financially.
   Cons: don't want to live here, never loved the house, despondency. The local hospital isn't great. Interest rates.

We do have other options - stay here and buy an investment property(ies).
Rent this house out and rent elsewhere.

For now which would you do? 1, 2 or 3?

If it was me and I had no love for the area I would move, however I’m unsure why you’d need to move to a larger property? Why not downsize, buy outright and then mortgage rates don’t matter.

If your DC have left home why are you thinking of moving to a bigger property? I would move to an area you like and downsize to reduce your mortgage.

I too don’t understand why you’d move to a bigger house? I’d definitely move but to a smaller house and cut down the mortgage.

Bigger than a 5 bed for two of you? Have you plans to open a B&B? If so good luck!

I’d move but not sure why you need a larger house? Find somewhere you love in a location you love!

The area you’re talking about in 1 but downsize not upsize so you’re not taking on debt.

I agree. Downsize but get the area you really want, a house that works for you as a couple but can accommodate adult children to stay if needed.
Get rid of all your debt.

I'd move but downsize, even a 4 bed meaning you have guest rooms/room for the kids visiting.

Why the bigger house? Presumably for visiting DC (?plus family?) but is it really worth shelling out thousands of pounds for bedrooms which will only be occupied for a few weekends a year. It would be cheaper to put them up in a hotel.

All three of your options have cons. Why? Are 5 (or more) bedrooms really worth all that debt hanging over you?

You are in a really good financial position to be able to clear all your debts and buy a house outright in a location you like.

Definitely move area, no brainer based on what you said. As you don't need to consider schools this must help with picking an area that suits you bit doesn't have a premium? I also don't get why bigger. I suppose if you've always dreamed of say a period house and are happy to still have mortgage debt, go for it. Otherwise if no good reason to upsize, downsize and eliminate the cons!

1. definitely.

Move to something smaller.

Move to another, smaller, house, somewhere you love.

Why have you no social life after so many years?
Would it be any different in a different area?

I'd be moving to an area I loved but downsizing to reduce the mortgage or get rid of it altogether.

I'll get to the downsizing question second.

Firstly, @Sago1 why no social life?
This is a very long answer.

I don't remember the figures, the last census showed a very high proportion of older people.
This is a place people retire to.

We moved here 8 years ago.
We moved for the good schools, low crime, quality of life, fresh air etc.
It is one of those naice 'executive' estates (according to locals) of only about 30 houses, all detached. Built like a village between three less desirable, but still nice IMO, small market towns.
All three towns would be considered rural, which makes us very rural.
We have a small shop, think Tesco Express. And that's it for 3 + miles in either direction.

The nearest big conurbation is 25 miles away, going to a group there after work would have been impractical.
The commute made it a non-starter.for post-work hobbies.

There's no night life and not much wrt evening classes, groups, or similar in the small towns. I often Google yoga classes, the nearest one is 12 miles away.
Again, impractical.

All of our neighbours are 20+ years older than us, or 20 years younger with small children.
There is no-one near our age here, or with much in common with us.
We do get together in the neighbourhood,. They are great neighbours, but friends? Not so much.

At the time our DCs were old enough not to need wraparound care. They were at, or approaching, GCSEs and A Levels.
We spent a lot of time driving them around.
So no playground parent-friends.
And not much choice to socialise.

DH and I were both working long hours, we were pushing our careers while we still could.
Both of us managed people, difficult to make work friends in that situation.

Over the years we've been here I have had some friendly friends IUSWIM,, but they weren't deep friendships.

Some people you just 'click' with. That hasn't happened here.

Then I was ill. The chemo was punishing, at one point I didn't get out of bed for months, other than hospital visits.
If your friendships aren't that deep, those people fall away when they don't know you very well.
It was cancer, it was serious, my family wanted to be with me.

Around the time I got better we had lockdowns, social distancing and I was still considered to be vulnerable. Unlikely to find a friendship at that time.

I do have a handful of old, old friends. They are scattered all over, I don't see them very often, maybe once or twice a year.

Why we aren't downsizing...

Hands up, I never wanted to live here. DH was right, the house was good for the DCs, we have been lucky with our neighbours, and it was a good investment.

• I moved here on condition that we could move as soon as circumstances allowed. Then I was ill and we had Covid lockdowns, which pushed it back
• We are looking at 4+ bedrooms, really we would like more rooms downstairs, particularly for DH's hobby. He's got 2 sheds and needs another. It's beginning to look like a shanty town out there. He wants a proper workshop.
• As discussed upthread, we have friends who come to stay, as well as our DCs. I think that we would have guests every 3rd weekend.
• DH would like a double garage or triple car port.
• I want a walk-in wardrobe. Because why not?
• We would like a big garden.
• Ideally, we would like a study outside. DH wfh most days, he feels like he never leaves work.
• We would like to be part of a community, hopefully we will make friends,
• We would like to be nearer to somewhere more built up, preferably the outskirts of a medium sized town. As we get older we will need to be closer to facilities.
• I've left this one for last. We both want to live in a house and area that we love. We've had some rough times lately, now we would like to live somewhere that makes us excited to get home.
After all, life is for living.

Option 1 for sure. Life is too short to live somewhere that you don’t love if you can afford to live somewhere that you do love. Go for it and enjoy!

One final thing:

If we had enough land, views and the topography was right, I would like to get a few huts in the garden and run Airbnbs.

Imagine that feeling when you walk into the home you love, it will be amazing! Option 1 definitely! Enjoy life you've been through tough times.

@Freetodowhatiwant is your name after the song? I love that song.

And thank you

Well then option 1. It feels like a no brainier. There isn't much in it financially and you'd be somewhere you love instead of somewhere you seem to endure - 60% equity instead of 70% or 75% equity if you stay, an income if you buy somewhere with enough land and an opportunity to make friendships.

@HouseWhatToDo yes it kind of is! But I was known as ‘Free’ on here due to a previous user name and so based it on that too.

Option 1 but don't rule out 4 bedrooms on your search as often people extend living space unevenly or turn the smallest bedroom.into and ensuite + bathroom for the master. You may find a gem and the hut thing offers an interesting angle... do your research before assuming it will work... can require planning permission (not for the hut, but change in use of the land it's on if you intend to airbnb)... would you want the hassle of the groundwork for a septic tank/put it on the mains/composting toilet etc. Cost of a nice quality hut may not be easily recouped BUT if you got a gorgeous one eg a Plankbridge then you can use it as a hobby space OR as that "fifth bedroom" when your adult kids come to stay.

Have just been looking at Plankbridge huts and now want to move to the country and do the same as you.

What area of the country are you in? I'm so up for a change.