anyone so UNHAPPY in there home that they hate being there?????

[lostandlonely]

because i am... take this weekend for example get up get kids ready(lone parent) bikes on car.. go anywhere just to be out of house... dont return till 6 ish..

neighbours hate us after various disputes over the years..
i dont even feel we can be in garden if they are in theres. as my dd calls over to there ds... and i worry about dd saying something out of turn- which may make them have a go.... there ds never does anything wrong in there opinion and they are always right....
I hate pulling into the street in case they are out in street playing etc..

if my dd plays with there ds i worry all the time if they argue or anything and i cant go on like this, which is why we go out for whole day so playing isnt an option, and i am dreading the summer when kids play out all the time..

They dont make noise or anything..

i guess i feel life is to short to live somewhere which makes me so unhappy..

house is housing assoc, looked and swapping but no joy.. private rent would be an option,

another thing holding me back is dad did lots and lots of work in house for me 1 year ago.. and i would hate him to think i was taking mickie by moving...

just wondering if anyone else feels like this and what they have done about it...thankyou

If your children are friends, can you not build bridges with that? It's hard to judge without knowing what disputes are but could it be you are more sensitive to situation than they are? Have they threatened you or complained? If not, why do you feel afraid to use your garden?

I know how it feels to be truly unhappy somewhere, and have that horrible, sinking feeling when you have to go home.

Sometimes just too much water has gone under the bridge.

Look into moving - it will gradually grind you down to stay there, and it will negatively affect you and your children.

I'm sure your father would rather know you are happy, and the issue of the work in the house is not as important as the emotional welfare of his DD.

Good luck.

We lived in a flat that felt like a prison due to our upstairs neighbour. It was a noise issue, but I would get sensitive about us making noise in case it started him off. The two had absolutely nothing to do with each other, but after reading the neighbours from hell forum I found it was normal to feel that you are somehow the bad party and if you just do things right then it will get better or go away.

Anyway, we rented the house we're in now and even though it's actually much tinier than the flat I loved moving here because we became free!

You need to move, your dad should be understanding. Life definitely is too short.

I really feel for you.

thankyou for all your replies.....

the garden issue is our gardens are tiny, right next to each other and i feel we cant enjoy ourselves out there... it is hard to explain,
probably to much water under bridge to build it again... i could never forgive them for things they have done in past..

i would have to private rent if i move, which worries me with short tennancies etc... i have assured tennancy atm... but i really think it has got to be the best option for us....more expensive but i should get help with rent, as i work only part time

i am fed up of looking out to make sure there are not outside before we go out..

i really need a fresh start somewhere... i really think life is to short....
i need to be brave and talk to my dad about how sad i feel about it all and how it takes over my whole life...

We had this in our last flat, but we shared a garden with the neighbour in question.

My husband used to call me on the way home from work to ask if the woman had done anything malicious as otherwise he would worry about it all the way home.

You have to move, it feels like a total weight lifted from us.

I'm sure your Dad would understand.

thank you i think you are right....

i really cant stand anothe summer like it..

i want to enjoy my kids while they are young...

going to try and talk to my dad...

any tips gratfully received!!!

We lived in a house where the street went downhill really quick and the area suddenly seemed to be awful. We had drug dealers for neighbours, there were no trees within view at all, just concrete and I hated where I lived with a passion. It made all of us miserable. Luckily we were able to sell it after over a year.

We now live in a lovely house in a nice area with quiet neighbours and lots of trees lol. We moved almost a year ago and even now I just feel ridiculously happy at where I live.

Life is too short to feel like this. Please move - you won't regret it

"I just feel ridiculously happy at where I live."

god i want that feeling.

i rent and i dont feel unhappy becuase of neighbours or the area

i just hate the fucking house

custardo , are you still in smae place? did you not manage to buy somewhere?

no!
mum died left me money was in probate forever - her house still not sold - the whole thing is shit.k and i am stuck in shitsville worthing

lmao yes looking back on it, it is rather depressing place.
BUT atleast there is light at the end of the tunnel, when the house is sold you can go for it and prices are starting to stabilise or even come down a bit now so it might all work out in the end.

yeah xxxx
hw are you?

Message withdrawn

okay thanks, getting by, alot better than we were down there, I was getting depressed down there, always broek, didn't have many friends, couldnt afford to do things with those I did have and missed my family.
I am alot happier, just trying to sort my useless Dh out now

i've gone into debt to move out of shitholes in the past and i don't regret it a bit.

i'd happily move countries if i were stuck in another miserable shithole.

it gets you down that much!

Me

I moved here 3 and a half years ago and it was meant to be our dream home, fantastic size, area we wanted etc etc, but then me and xp split up and I was left with a house that needed alot of work and no money or skills to do it with, plus the constant reminder of things that had gone wrong.

I am now trying to exchange as I'm also in a HA house. Fingers crossed I might have found somewhere too. It is still in same area but smaller more manageble house and garden.

I have to say though that I wouldn't move to privatly rented again, there isn't enough security for me.

A lot of people I've known move to privately rented and then get the landlord to chuck them out so they're priority on the housing list again as homeless.

yes, I moved from south east to midlands, cheaper, friendlier and closer to family and really pleased I did, Last weekend I went down there and one of my friends has just lost her house and she is 5 months pregnant, I just wish people could see sometimes that being a 'cool'place is not 'cool' if you can't afford it or if it makes you miserable

Right - was in a rush last time becase had to dash to get the bus to pick up Ds. Now have more time to respond.

Lostandlonely - you dad sounds lovely for helping you do stuff in your house. I am sure he would be horrified if he realised you were only considering staying put because of the work he has done. You need to tell him how it is and explain the reason you want to move. Make him aware just how grateful you are for what he did for you last time. I am sure he will understand.

Its great how you take the kids out all the time but sometimes you do just want to let them out in the garden without having to worry, or relax out there yourself. I used to be the same and would take Ds out constantly just to get away from where I was. We had a garden but it was overlooked by at least 12 other houses (victorian terrace) including the drug dealers and the halfway house for people just out of prison behind us. I so wanted to just sit in the garden but it wasn't an option. Now I can do exactly that (well not in Jan but in the summer lol) and its bliss. Where in the country are you? Are there many private rents available? If you get the Friday Ad / Ad Mag etc where you are there should be some private landlords there which means you could avoid agency fees and maybe negotiate a longer tenancy.

Custardo. Sorry you hate your house? What is it about it that you hate? Our house is rented after years of being on the property ladder and it is actually a relief not to own a house at the moment. When things go wrong its not up to us to pay for it and we can move again if the mood takes us at relatively short notice. Afer owning that godamnawful house I feel like a huge weight has been lifted - thought we would never sell it! I love Worthing by the way lol and very nearly moved there once. Where are you hoping to move to?

Chocolatemummy - we did the same and moved away from the South East to have a more affordable lifestyle. After years of pining after where we used to live I am slowly starting to realise that we are a lot better off here even though it isn't deemed a cool place to live or isn't as pretty as where we were before. As you said it doesn't feel cool to live in a fantastic sought after place yet be on a constant treadmill just to exist. Where are you originally from?

That would be a huge risk to take though Expat. If you are classed as homeless you normaly only get one offer and you are expected to take it. Dread to think of some of the places people are offered.

thanks for all your replies

pelafina is you house now rented... how long is the contract?

of course the tennancy worries me loads as i have assured tennancy now,

once out of here i could go on the waiting lists for key worker renting... but i dont really want to wait any longer here... does anyone think that would be a good idea?

we have loads of private rents here... i will need one that takes HB , i work 24 hours so it would be topped up with a % of HB....

i just really want to feel happy to come home and not dread pulling into street...

and i hope it will all be worth it... and i wont regret it... although i even regret the exchange i did to move here, but i cant look back......

i need some one to predict my future and tell me it will be ok....

does anywhere do longer tennancies...

Not much advice, but just to say I totally sympathise and know exactly how you feel. I had R&B party animals one side and queen of the chavs the other. I didnt want to go home on a friday night and worked later and later just to avoid it. Hated being in the garden if neighbours were there and listening to them. Could hear everything thru the walls. But I was lucky, they both moved within a couple of months of each other and I have lovely, lovely neighbours now who are v quiet and like to come round for glass of wine. Has made BIG difference to how I feel about the house and whole area.

Dont put up with it if you can possibly move. Once you do you will wonder why you stayed so long. Trouble is you might move and get the same thing, but at least you have a chance of getting something nicer.

thankyou- janmoomoo (like the name)

glad i a not wired for feeling like this

i will never talk to neigbours ever ever again...!!!!!!

Dont think you are weird (or wired!) It actually made me feel better when I talked to people and found out there are absolutely loads of people living with neighbours they cant stand, or noisy/ignorant/miserable ones! Sad aint it? I used to do petty things like throw snails over into their garden, bin their post if it came thru my door by accident, not much of a revenge but made me feel better.

i have had there post here before but would never dare bin it in case they had put it through and would launch me if i didnt return it!!!! thats how wired i am

just been to my mums and there is a house to rent 500 yards from her which would be great so going to phone about it tomorrow....

just a bit worried about credit checks etc i heard about today that they seem to do... i work really hard and would never risk losing a roof over our head... but a credit check - not sure how that would score.... i havent had a credit card for 10 years, never had finance....

was thinking of renting in my mums name but she owns her house and doesnt have an income- so not sure if they would allow her to rent it?.

so now i am worried i will be stuck here oh god i cant stay here.... please let it turn out ok....