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Original poster

Help - massive wobble about property we're buying

30 replies

underrepresented · 31/08/2022 15:28

So we've made an offer on a property about two months ago. I did have some reservations against the property which had some (minor) issues but there was nothing better available at that moment so DH convinced me to it. We were also nervous about not finding anything better and potentially losing our buyers, having to re-mortgage our current property, and staying in that property for an indefinite time, which would be less than ideal.

Now, two months into the process, the exchange date is nearing and I just feel sick. I have this very strong gut feeling that this property is not a good idea. I wake up every day and the first thing I do is freaking out about the fact that we'll be now tied to a massive mortgage, and with the energy prices going up it's going to be so hard. We probably won't go hungry but there will be no gym memberships, no holidays and no eating out for a long while. Is it really worth it? And what if property prices go down and we can't sell it for the amount we bought it, if need be?

Also the issues that seemed minor to me at the time seem to have developed into mountains of problems in my head. The location is not convenient for commuting to school and work, and on a busy road... the house is old and probably not well insulated...which will make us spend even more on heating...

To make matters worse, I still receive updates from estate agents and there are a few properties available now that look much better (on pictures) and also less expensive.

But there is no way to back out now!!! Or is there???
What should I do?

OP posts:
PotteringAlonggotkickedoutandhadtoreregister · 31/08/2022 15:29

You could pull out and move into rented so not to loose your buyers?

how close to completion are you?

Paddleandbail · 31/08/2022 15:38

Gosh OP if you haven’t exchanged contracts of course you can pull out! You are in control. There will always be another buyer for your place if you lose them, it may just take a while. Weigh up spending another year or two in your house and purchasing this (potentially not ideal) house - is there a clearly better option? Bear in mind it’s not just the purchase price to consider but SDLT and the like on top of it.

If you find another property why don’t you have a look? It may even make you feel better about the one you’re buying if the grass isn’t greener after all.

I don’t think anyone (sensible…) ever feels certain about purchasing a new house. I certainly didn’t! But it’s working out so far and we were realistic about what we could afford and what was available (ie it’s not perfect!). That’s meant to be encouraging! :)

Twiglets1 · 31/08/2022 16:09

It’s not too late to back out until you exchange contracts

Sarahconnor1 · 31/08/2022 16:15

We were in a similar position and we have decided not to move and stay in our current home for the next few years.

It seemed madness to be paying ££££ stamp duty, fees, increasing our mortgage when we didn't have to move.

Nothing is set until contracts exchanged and you have to do what is best for you

Thurlow · 31/08/2022 16:15

I imagine it’s pretty normal to panic a bit about a new place but it jumps out that some of the things you’ve mentioned might be pretty major. How difficult is the commute to school and work going to be - a complete pain, or just longer?

We moved less than a year ago and the commute to the youngest’s school is just on the edge of being a pain. We had to change their childcare because of it. It’s worth it long term for the property we are in, and we only have two years left of this longer journey, but it is something you need to seriously consider.

Original poster
underrepresented · 31/08/2022 16:22

Thanks All.

@Thurlow the commuting is not too bad - otherwise we wouldn't have considered it, but could be better. For example I would prefer DC to be able to walk to school rather than take a bus... For us, the work commute would be extended by about 15-20min. So not a catastrophe, but could be better.

@Sarahconnor1 I wish we didn't have to move but we absolutely do have to. We have outgrown this flat ages ago.

OP posts:
Original poster
underrepresented · 31/08/2022 16:26

I know I can still pull out as haven't exchanged. The big question is - should I?? I just don't know. Head says - keep going and exchange as planned. Gut feeling says - maybe not :(
Maybe it's just buyer's remorse and general panic before a big commitment.

OP posts:
Ilikewinter · 31/08/2022 16:27

We probably won't go hungry but there will be no gym memberships, no holidays and no eating out for a long while.

humm that would put me off, what are the minor things that initially put you off?

Why dont you have a look at the other properties your seen.

And it probably depends how far down the line you are, have you paid out for searches etc etc?

Sarahconnor1 · 31/08/2022 16:29

It really is a horrible time to be looking to buy isn't it.

Go and look at some of the other houses you have seen, that will give you perspective on the one you've offered on.

RobertsRadio · 31/08/2022 16:30

If it were me I would visit the other properties you like the look of asap so you can do a proper comparison with the one you offered on. I too would be wary of moving into an old property with no or poor insulation with current energy prices, unless you have already factored in the cost of putting in insulation.

HikingBoots · 31/08/2022 17:12

Of course you can pull out. We once pulled out at week 12.
The sellers started screwing us around, wanting extra money for tatty, 20 year-old white goods that they planned to leave behind.
It gave us pause to think - and DH and I realised we both had concerns about the house anyway.
I felt like a total piece of shit destroying the chain at the 11th hour, but you don't owe the other parties anything and it's a massive commitment that you can't enter into lightly.

Original poster
underrepresented · 31/08/2022 17:13

I feel terrible even thinking of pulling out. The sellers are waiting for us to complete so that they can complete on their onward purchase and if we pull out it's going to be terrible for all the people up the chain :o

We really should have waited with the offer or pulled out earlier :(

OP posts:
Twiglets1 · 31/08/2022 17:40

underrepresented · 31/08/2022 17:13

I feel terrible even thinking of pulling out. The sellers are waiting for us to complete so that they can complete on their onward purchase and if we pull out it's going to be terrible for all the people up the chain :o

We really should have waited with the offer or pulled out earlier :(

It is terrible to pull out at a late stage. Nevertheless, you have to do what is right for you. It’s too big a purchase to buy something you have changed your mind about, if it is more than just a wobble.

oceanbleu · 31/08/2022 17:41

You should pull out. Do it now before any more time passes. It may be terrible for the upward chain but it'd be more terrible you spend all that money on a place your gut was telling you wasn't right... trust your gut.

Curlyfifteen · 31/08/2022 17:48

What are the problems that now feel like mountains?

Apl · 31/08/2022 17:52

We can’t help you OP, we haven’t seen the house. Talk it over with your DH.

It would be terrible for the rest of the chain to pull out, yes. Re the problems - insulation, busy road etc - bear in mind that if it was better insulated and on a quiet road, it would cost a lot more. You can’t afford perfect or you’d have found it already. So if you aren’t willing to have the busy road then you’ll need a smaller house, etc.

Squirrelonwheels · 31/08/2022 18:00

Can you go see it again? It may be that the problems aren’t that bad and you might like it more than you remember!

CantFindTheBeat · 31/08/2022 18:06

Go and see it again, in the cold light of day.

You should be excited about your new home, and willing it to complete, not waking in dread every morning.

savvy7 · 31/08/2022 18:22

Trust your gut. I wish I had!

HappyHappyHermit · 31/08/2022 18:25

Its normal to have some wobbles along the way I think. I definitely did, but I love our home and am pleased we went ahead. What did you love about it when you first looked?

Original poster
underrepresented · 31/08/2022 18:49

We just really liked the feel of the house. It's spacious. The layout, the garden. How he house looked from the outside. It had character. It just felt right. It's a massive garden too, not usually found in big cities. But the garden will require quite a bit of maintenance, of course.

The bad bits are the busy polluted road, the not-ideal commute to work/school, the age of the house (and probably the poor insulation that comes with it), and the price.

We lived in an old flat some time ago, and then moved to our current property which is modern. I can't tell you how much of a relief it was to finally be in a dry, warm place instead of a cold, damp, musty cave.

I am worried that because we looked at the house when it was baking hot in the middle of summer, we couldn't assess whether the house is damp/cold in winter, and it may well be...

We actually requested a viewing recently and, literally nothing has changed about my feeling. It's still a beautiful, expensive house on a busy polluted road, far from the tube.

OP posts:
Twiglets1 · 31/08/2022 19:27

underrepresented · 31/08/2022 18:49

We just really liked the feel of the house. It's spacious. The layout, the garden. How he house looked from the outside. It had character. It just felt right. It's a massive garden too, not usually found in big cities. But the garden will require quite a bit of maintenance, of course.

The bad bits are the busy polluted road, the not-ideal commute to work/school, the age of the house (and probably the poor insulation that comes with it), and the price.

We lived in an old flat some time ago, and then moved to our current property which is modern. I can't tell you how much of a relief it was to finally be in a dry, warm place instead of a cold, damp, musty cave.

I am worried that because we looked at the house when it was baking hot in the middle of summer, we couldn't assess whether the house is damp/cold in winter, and it may well be...

We actually requested a viewing recently and, literally nothing has changed about my feeling. It's still a beautiful, expensive house on a busy polluted road, far from the tube.

Your further post makes it sound even more obvious you should pull out and buy a newer property with double glazing, quiet road etc

DanielTheGhostGangbanger · 31/08/2022 19:32

If you pull out now, you'll piss off the sellers - but in the grand scheme of things, they'll get over it and everyone will move on. It's a little bump, but not the end of the world.

Moving to a house that you end up hating and really can't afford would have much worse repercussions for you and your DP. This is one of those times where it's really important to put your needs first, rather than prioritising causing upset to a stranger.

What you need to figure out though, is whether it's just general panic about a big move and a shift to a higher mortgage etc, or whether it's the house itself. The press and social media are whipping up quite a frenzy about what the future holds - it's understandable, but it's creating a lot of anxiety which could be partly to blame for how you're feeling.

Just looking at your last post, the house sounds lovely. A spacious house with a big garden in a city would be a winner for me. I could overlook a busy road for those qualities. But what are YOUR priorities for a house? Did you want lots of space and a big garden - or were you really looking for a good location and just a little bit more space than what you have now?

What is the property market doing where you are - are buyers still fighting to get offers accepted or has it slowed right down? What are your chances of getting accepted on another house that you like?

Sorry, more questions than answers here for you! We've just bought a much bigger older house that needs a ton of work. It's also not in our preferred location. But I think it will be lovely once the work is done, and it will be an investment for the future if we ever want to sell. It's a bit scary leaving my very small house that I've lived in for 15 years though! Being nervous when buying a house is totally normal. What you need to figure out is if it's THIS house that's the problem, or just pre-purchase nerves.

Freeme31 · 31/08/2022 19:36

Everyone has reservations about moving its up their with other big anxieties like weddings/divorce etc you sound like you like the house and it meets your families needs Remember a move does require making compromises. (Ask yourself are these compromises too big for you/your family) Are you usually/previously been nervous/anxious with moves you have made or is it because children are involved now ? But you can back out when ever you want, but will you just be in the same position next move ?

JoanThursday · 31/08/2022 19:37

Gosh, your post brings my own experience back to me! We were desperate for a home as we had sold our house and I was heavily pregnant.

House seemed perfect at the time, but the minor niggles just grew and grew. It was waking me up at night and always on my mind during the day. We pulled out.

We found another house in the same area less than a week later. Quiet street, no through traffic, not overlooked. A bit smaller, but scope to do what we wanted. And £25k less!

Been here 13 years now and so pleased we followed our gut feelings. I pass the house on our walk to school and often feel relief we didn't end up there.

Absolutely no regrets.

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