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Original poster

To move or not?

9 replies

Irishmammy20 · 31/08/2022 11:55

Hoping for some advice.. our property has a damp problem that needs to be fixed and is also too small for our growing family (3 bed but expecting second baby so will need an office space and we are already running out of room downstairs). Ideally we would like to extend but I'm very worried about rising cost of bills and mortgage and being able to afford it. We love the area and have friends here but no family which can be tough. Our other option is to move near to the in laws where we would have a little help with childcare and could buy a house with little to no mortgage. However, there are less job opportunities, we don't have friends there (the area is ok but we don't love it) and I'm afraid about more family drama from the in laws (half are lovely, the other half are a headache) and feeling isolated/ not being accepted. I've only a few weeks until I give birth so am being told to just relax and make no decisions but our house is sale agreed and we can't seem to get building quotes OR find a suitable house near the in laws. Would be grateful for some advice as my poor brain is fried and I feel like I'm stuck in limbo (my own family are in ireland but no option to move back)

OP posts:
MaybeMaybeNotJ · 31/08/2022 13:29

We started an extension when our second was 6 months. We costed it out and compared to properties nearby, extending was the best option financially.
I think it all depends whether you want to chance location or not? Once you decide that you then make your next decision. Congratulations on your second baby :)

MaybeMaybeNotJ · 31/08/2022 13:30

*change

Original poster
Irishmammy20 · 31/08/2022 14:49

MaybeMaybeNotJ · 31/08/2022 13:29

We started an extension when our second was 6 months. We costed it out and compared to properties nearby, extending was the best option financially.
I think it all depends whether you want to chance location or not? Once you decide that you then make your next decision. Congratulations on your second baby :)

Thank you :-) I think you're right (and if I'm honest, I'm probably happier staying though moving would make things a bit easier financially) we just may need to wait a bit longer for the extension. I think I'm just frustrated because I don't have the room to 'nest' and get a little space ready for the baby 😂

OP posts:
TwoBlueFish · 31/08/2022 14:54

I would stay put for the moment. Your kids can share a room for a while and hopefully by then you can do the extension. Could you maybe save for a garden office? That way each child could still have their space.

girlmom21 · 31/08/2022 15:01

If you prefer the area you're in I'd stay and extend if you can.

Calmdown14 · 31/08/2022 16:14

It really depends on your life plans/ ambitions.
If you are both career focused and the opportunities are better where you are then stay.
If it is more about having a job and this would allow a better standard of living, for you to stay at home longer, work less hours then it's worth considering.

Could you visit the area with fresh eyes to really assess what it offers an expanding family? Having some childcare is a god send. It's much harder to ask a friend to look after two kids of different ages at short notice.
If you are going to move this is a great time to do it while they are small and you get maximum benefit but it has to suit the life you want.

Can you give a rough geographic area so people can recommend areas close that might suit you better?

Original poster
Irishmammy20 · 31/08/2022 16:51

Calmdown14 · 31/08/2022 16:14

It really depends on your life plans/ ambitions.
If you are both career focused and the opportunities are better where you are then stay.
If it is more about having a job and this would allow a better standard of living, for you to stay at home longer, work less hours then it's worth considering.

Could you visit the area with fresh eyes to really assess what it offers an expanding family? Having some childcare is a god send. It's much harder to ask a friend to look after two kids of different ages at short notice.
If you are going to move this is a great time to do it while they are small and you get maximum benefit but it has to suit the life you want.

Can you give a rough geographic area so people can recommend areas close that might suit you better?

Thank you for the advice. Neither of us are very ambitious. I'm working fulltime hours at the moment so would like more time with the kids. Trouble is it would be harder to get a similar job in that area (I work in IT& the money is pretty good but part time opportunities in my role are v few and far between). For context, we currently live in Bristol, have lovely neighbours, parks, schools, nursery and shops in walking distance & city centre is a short bus journey away. The in-laws live in Kendal which is a nice place but less opportunities for kids (and jobs in general, unless remote). You are right too in that it is harder to leave kids with friends ar short notice. I think we will look at houses there and get building work quotes here too

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Original poster
Irishmammy20 · 31/08/2022 16:52

TwoBlueFish · 31/08/2022 14:54

I would stay put for the moment. Your kids can share a room for a while and hopefully by then you can do the extension. Could you maybe save for a garden office? That way each child could still have their space.

Thanks, we did consider just patching up the damp for now and getting a garden office which would tide us over for a bit

OP posts:
Original poster
Irishmammy20 · 31/08/2022 16:57

girlmom21 · 31/08/2022 15:01

If you prefer the area you're in I'd stay and extend if you can.

I'd love to extend, will just depend on quotes. Just nervous as our fixed term is up the end of next year (and will be on mat leave soon) and the hike in energy and everything else will also pile the pressure on..so I guess the decision might be taken out of our hands (and then we either spend a little to fix damp and have a garden room or just move)

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