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Original poster

Our seller is a widowed hoarder - how to handle

60 replies

fancyaflatwhite · 29/08/2022 11:47

Our buyers have been hanging in there since Spring, as we've had trouble securing a house to buy.

Now we have found somewhere - offer has been accepted early August. The agents made us aware the seller has had a difficult time as she sadly lost her husband some years ago, and has been hoarding since.

The seller's agent tells us they're recommending a removal/sorting service to help her sort her stuff. It's not like the house is stacked to the roof, but there is a lot there for her to go through, including two full outbuildings.

Agent told me she's "having to remind the seller what vacant possession means", which got me worried. She has instructed her solicitor, but it's now nearly a month and our conveyancer (who we've instructed and paid to start searches) is still awaiting the draft contract pack to get cracking. One good thing is, she's chain free.

Our agent has asked our seller for an exchange/completion timeframe that all parties can agree to. Our buyer, however, is starting to get quite uneasy that it won't go through.

How long could we be looking at if our seller is slow to get packing? What's the best way to handle this and get things done efficiently?

OP posts:
lightand · 29/08/2022 11:51

My heart was sinking a bit at reading this.

Does she have relatives to help her?

Could you even offer?
[that might not be the best idea.]
[I know someone who moved into a house next to a hoarder. She offered to help the person, and the person said yes. Different situation though.]

LIZS · 29/08/2022 11:59

There are organisations which could help, but only if she is cooperative. Why is she moving, is it her choice? At best you could be a few months from completion, will your buyer wait much longer especially if interest rates are on the rise?

TooMuchToDoTooLittleInclination · 29/08/2022 12:01

Depends really. I have a lot of compassion for someone who is widowed, downsizing and probably not through choice (no onward purchase? Relatives/care home??)

what are your plans for the out buildings?

because I'd want my sale and this purchase to go through, if at all possible, I'd give her a year to empty the outbuildings IF the house is completely empty of her stuff.

people will worry about all kinds of things (insurance/her & helpers being there etc) but there's nothing the solicitors can't sort out (plus a clause should she die or become incapacitated within that time)

if you need the outbuildings immediately yourself then I guess you'll just have to hope the EA's & Solucitors do their jobs, I can't see there much else you can do.

Original poster
fancyaflatwhite · 29/08/2022 12:03

@lightand a cousin is helping her, but with the best will in the world I think they'll need professional help. The agent tells us they've recommended one to her, but I'm not sure how receptive she is.

@LIZS our buyer is honestly unlikely to hold on much longer. Do you think we may be best cutting our losses and finding somewhere else - I can only think we'd be waiting a few months anywhere at this stage, especially if there's an upper chain?

OP posts:
ThatsGoingToHurt · 29/08/2022 12:05

I would check with your solicitor what is the situation if she leaves a load of her belongings at your new home. Can you get ok that you will remove any left items. It may be that the current owner has difficulty throwing stuff away and may think that you will appreciate her ‘treasures’

anotherpotoftea · 29/08/2022 12:05

I’d be very worried about the state of the property and I think you sadly need to cut your losses.

picklemewalnuts · 29/08/2022 12:06

I'd have a back up plan. Not for her refusing to sell, but for vacant possession.
I helped my mum move, and she was like your lady- totally unable to understand the scale of the task. She resisted everything I did until the last minute.

I don't know what would have happened without me. Perhaps the removals men would have taken everything to storage?
Even with me, we ended up with a 3 piece suite on the drive and rooms with stacked boxes floor to ceiling with no path between.

Xenia · 29/08/2022 12:06

I am more worried she will not exchange contracts than that she won't clear the place. If she exchanges and has not cleared then before completion her cousin and she can pay a company to put everything into a storage unit, but the bigger worry is will she ever exchange contracts. May be give her solicitor a deadline for that or find out what the hold up is.

averageavocado · 29/08/2022 12:08

If she is anything like my elderly relative you've got no chance

I would start looking for another property now

PotteringAlonggotkickedoutandhadtoreregister · 29/08/2022 12:08

You need a deadline for exchange. Get it, and get it fast. And then hopefully they will just bung it all into storage. Give them a deadline, and be firm that you will walk away if it’s not met.

Chewbecca · 29/08/2022 12:09

I agree, it’s not really your concern if / how she will remove the contents, or at worst you can just get the whole lot removed for a fee. I would focus on the legal transaction and what needs to happen to make that go through promptly, everything else is resolvable.

LIZS · 29/08/2022 12:11

I think you are in for a protracted timeframe assuming she even sees it through. Look for an alternative and tell the agent to come back to you once it is cleared and proceedable in case your buyer pulls out. Realistically there is no point marketing it until the decluttering is done. Did you see the scale of it when you viewed?

vroom321 · 29/08/2022 12:12

Surely that's what you pay your solicitor for? To liaise with the sellers solicitor?

Whinge · 29/08/2022 12:12

I am more worried she will not exchange contracts than that she won't clear the place.

I agree with this. She doesn't seem like she wants to sell her house, which is understandable as it's obviously been a much loved home and it's hard to let go. I think you'll end up with delays, stalling and then her withdrawing the house for sale.

Netty909 · 29/08/2022 12:24

My sister had a similar purchase. Her vendor was a hoarder and an alcoholic but needed to sell to move abroad. There was no way that she would be able to clear the house so my sister said to just take what she wanted and she would deal with the rest of it on completion. It was pretty bad and a lot of work but there was no way it would have completed otherwise. It's a really tricky situation.

sleepymum50 · 29/08/2022 12:31

We bought a house as a doer upper off a man who had learning problems and was moving to sheltered accommodation after his dad (carer) had died.

We knew there would be problems so just accepted there would be stuff left behind and got ready to get a skip in. We knew we would have to rip up carpets (so filthy).

We decided that the cost of a few hundred pounds set against the cost of the house purchase was pretty insignificant. Plus we could set a moving date rather than endlessly waiting for vacant possession.

Would this work for you? The time saved may actually outweigh the cost of the skip.

TwilightDreams · 29/08/2022 12:32

Has your buyer given you a timescale for their move? It doesn't sound like they'll wait around for you to start a new purchase. If they're running out of time you may need to choose between breaking the chain and moving into rented or having to remarket your house.

Did you meet the seller when you viewed? If she doesn't really want to sell at best she's likely to (subconsciously) delay every step. At worst she'll get to exchange and decide she can't go through with the sale.

ILoveYoga · 29/08/2022 12:33

I have another suggestion. Coming from a child of hoarders who recently spent a whole month trying to help clear their home (unsuccessfully). Make an offer to cheat the house yourself. As in, drop the purchase price a few grand, that she takes whatever she wants and walks away from the remainder. You then use the few grand to clear the house and outbuildings. This was the time is not wasted by her going through all the items and not being able to part with anything. In all likelihood, anything in outbuildings don't really have that much sentimental value until she starts looking through it. Then time is taken up reminiscing. Eventually the process becomes overwhelming and they stop.

offering that she takes what she wants and leaves takes away her trauma of dealing with the colossal task. You don’t have dang emotional tie abc can just get rid of the lot.

Aquamarine1029 · 29/08/2022 12:35

I would find another property. I would have very serious concerns about the condition of the home once everything is removed, and dealing expediently with a hoarder is basically impossible.

kirkandpetal · 29/08/2022 12:38

ILoveYoga · 29/08/2022 12:33

I have another suggestion. Coming from a child of hoarders who recently spent a whole month trying to help clear their home (unsuccessfully). Make an offer to cheat the house yourself. As in, drop the purchase price a few grand, that she takes whatever she wants and walks away from the remainder. You then use the few grand to clear the house and outbuildings. This was the time is not wasted by her going through all the items and not being able to part with anything. In all likelihood, anything in outbuildings don't really have that much sentimental value until she starts looking through it. Then time is taken up reminiscing. Eventually the process becomes overwhelming and they stop.

offering that she takes what she wants and leaves takes away her trauma of dealing with the colossal task. You don’t have dang emotional tie abc can just get rid of the lot.

Agree with this. See if that is an acceptable offer and helps things move along. Then get a house clearance company ready to swoop in and take everything left away.

Bestcatmum · 29/08/2022 12:39

My first husband was a holder and I can tell you it was a month of Sundays before he was able to sort his hoard enough to move. It took him months and months. Eventually his friends agreed to store his stuff in their garages to enable the move to go ahead. That was in 1991. His stuff is still in their garages and some og them have had to get legal advice to move it.
Not to mention the place will be left a pig sty. Can you deal with that?

swimmingincustard · 29/08/2022 12:41

No advice really but this was the top of our chain except the lady in question didn't want to move (was moving in with her daughter after numerous falls/issues).

We ended up in a holiday let for 4 months so not to lose our buyer and our sellers solicitor piled on the pressure for a completion date. In the end a family member booked professional help.

Is there anywhere you can go short term with your things in storage if necessary?

TeacupDrama · 29/08/2022 12:50

I agree if you want house and you think that it is structurally sound you can take house as is ie not vancant of possessions but make no promises about looking after it for her, you could get a clause about leaving a small shed to be cleared within 4-8weeks 3 months whatever

MaggieFS · 29/08/2022 13:12

I agree with pp, you don't need to overly worry about vacant possession as much as exchanging. Where/why is she moving and is she likely to not want to?

Reduce your offer slightly to factor in professional clearance and just deal with it yourselves.

Original poster
fancyaflatwhite · 29/08/2022 13:33

@MaggieFS @TeacupDrama

It's a good idea to take it as is. But would someone very emotionally attached to their belongings agree to professional clearance? I can't see it myself.

OP posts: