Moving house tomorrow - downsizing and freaking out

[Lollywillowes]

After a lengthy divorce, I'm moving out of London from a 4 bed to a 3 bed cottage about an hour and a half away tomorrow.

The packers have been helping me today and have started loading some boxes/furniture etc on the van but I'm freaking out about how much stuff I've got!

I have two young kids and Ive spent the last 6 months clearing and sorting, knowing that I won't be living in as big a house but still the lot seems far too much to fit into my new place.

Has anyone downsized and found themselves literally imprisoned by boxes? What's the best thing to do?

We had this, we had too much stuff when moving in to a new house (managed to fit it in, all be it house was stuffed to the rafters). We immediately sorted a storage unit and put the non essential in there the next day and whittled it down / sorted it over time. Could you pre-empt this and ask movers to take some things into their storage for you?

Good luck with move, a cottage sounds lovely. Hope that you’re happy there.

Thank you. I think I might have to although it's bound to be a terrible expense. I have hundreds of books; got rid of tonnes but now regretting i didn't throw more. Kids rooms are going to be totally jam packed.

I was gonna say I had a similar situation but quite frankly I’m still in it and I’m still stepping over boxes etc 8 weeks later. I don’t really have any advice because it’s not easy I find myself a lot of the time walking around the house thinking well I need that and I do but you can’t have it, theres no room. I guess the only thing that kind of cheers me up a little bit is the idea of selling or donating the stuff that I don’t need in order to fund nice stuff that I do. If you’ve got 100 books and you can sell them all for a quid each with that buy you something nice for the new house ?

We had similar in a house move when my DCs were 4 and 6. We moved from a massive house in Berlin to a house in London with two tiny rooms for the kids. I ended up putting them both in bunks in one room to begin with while the other was literally filled with boxes of their stuff which took a while to sort out. I don't advise paying money for a storage unit as it's too tempting to leave stuff in there that you would be better getting rid of. Remember you can still chuck stuff out after the move - in fact seeing the space you actually have may encourage you to be more brutal and less sentimental about it. You need to get stuff out of boxes and into bookcases, cupboards whatever - make sure you have shelves/bookcases in place so you can unpack boxes asap and make inroads. Beds with storage underneath are also useful - either storage boxes you can roll underneath or those beds that lift up with storage in the base.

As you unpack only keep stuff you need/love. The rest needs to go into two boxes, one marked donate, one marked rubbish.
We moved a large house of twenty years into a three bed semi. I was brutal with the stuff I packed. Donated tons of stuff, sold lots and sent car loads to the dump.

Yep be brutal as you unpack. Also if you haven't missed anything for a month as it's still in a box do you still really need it?

Thanks everyone. I feel the solidarity! Being on your own is also tough as I don't want to chuck the kids things as I feel guilty. I'm uprooting them and I don't want to cause unnecessary discomfort!

New house is a new build - definitely a blank canvas - no bookshelves or shelves. I was thinking of just piling the books up to begin with?

Will definitely do the two boxes - rubbish and donate.

When people say "be brutal" can you be more specific? What sorts of things go through your head when you're sorting? I've already been through a couple of stages of sort.

Pay to get loft boarded out and a loft ladder put in - even if it's just a metre around the loft hatch.

Clothes when did you last wear them, do they fit, do they make you feel GOOD.

Toys - they've proved less is better for DC so be super selective.

Kids clothes- keep minimal day to day wear that way you wash, dry it and barely have to put any away before it's worn again.

Books - how many are you really going to reread, how many can't be picked up cheaply 2nd hand.

What else have you got?

We have one dinner set IKEA cheap love it, easy to store and replace. Don't need tonnes of kitchen crap.

@Lollywillowes

congratulations on your new place, I'm sure you'll make it lovely!! (Sorry for how it's come about though!!)

Don't stress out about 'the stuff' today. It is what it is! You'll fit it in somehow!

How old are your kids?

Being a new build, it'll at least be clean (maybe a little dusty!) and no decorating needing to be done immediately!

so if it was me, I'd do what a pp did & put the kids in one room (if at all possible). & all their 'stuff' in another room.

depending on the house, stack the boxes in lesser used spaces garage/dining room one end of the lounge.

Work your way through them. It'll be a bit more tricky if you don't have bookcases/shelving storage. (What are your plans for this?)

would your Ex want any of the excess? I'm more thinking of an easy way to move stuff on, than what he wants.

I wouldn't pay for storage as its £££ and you have to go and collect the boxes etc. not so easy on your own, with kids. If the boxes are there you can potted when you get time.

put the kitchen stuff away, if you don't have room for everything & don't intend to buy more storage for in the kitchen then you can sort out what to keep & what to rehome as you go.

IF you don't think you'll be moving for a long time, don't keep things that you'll only use 'in another, bigger, house)

try to enjoy the last night in the old house
((HUGS)) it's not easy, msybe invite a goid friend around to keep you company & ward off the 'what ifs' x

If garddn
Get one or two keter xl sheds
Store boxes there will be fine even over winterlater use for kids bikes
Or sell on
gardenworldonline.co.uk/products/keter-hideaway-storage-box?currency=GBP&variant=39638398763182&utm_medium=cpc&utm_source=google&utm_campaign=Google%20Shopping&gclid=Cj0KCQjwof6WBhD4ARIsAOi65agUiNO6OtTE2tFoUl4lq4orTw7RtDzdsL0iLwG3NvLuWruCwbnK-jQaAuwHEALw_wcB

Such helpful comments, some of which have confirmed what I've considered and made me think best to do it asap!

1. Boarding the loft and attaching a ladder - I must do this.

1. Outside storage units look genius - better than a shed? Or is that more flexible?

1. One dinner set - so true. I have kept some lovely side plates and tea set from my granny for nostalgia and also because they are so pretty. Eek.

1. No to paid storage - this was my instinct and I'm glad it's been confirmed on here!

1. Such good advice not to keep stuff with the idea that I could use it in a bigger house in the future.

1. @RandomMess I need to practice the less is more. Feels punitive... but you're right!

@WinterMusings my kids are 7 and 9. I got them the ikea daybed you can turn into a double so I could put them both on that. They will not be happy though! Daddy's house is much bigger and they have all sorts of goodies in their rooms! Ex wants nothing. Took booze and coffee machine when he left. Says it all really.

Books - I'm an English teacher so a lot of books I feel are important for work. Get a real sense of self if you know what I mean from the books I've read.

Label the boxes with the contents. It works well to pack whole drawers or cupboards into a box and label it with where it came from. You will remember what was in that location and so will know exactly what is in each box.

Don't rush to unpack the boxes.

Just unpack the things you really need and then forget the rest.

When I downsized, quite early in the move, the removal people told me 'the house is full, where shall we put everything else?' They had spread the boxes in a single row. I got them to stack them three high.

When I moved out a decade later, there were unopened boxes in the loft. I knew if I opened any one I would find it full of treasures I couldn't live without, but had not missed for ten years.

I threw them all out unopened.

Good luck.

just moved and def agree with the declutter. Honestly - we had stuff in storage for 7 years in our old too little place. We should have made a list esp of the books and then chucked 90pc of those belongings. Would say also that we didn’t realise how much space we had in our old house! The new build we have moved to doesn’t have alcoves or handy corner cupboards to store stuff away in.

Wishing you the best of luck with your new life tho!

The lovely tea plates from your Nanna ok so keep them but only if you use them! They may get broken but enjoy using them and remembering her.

@Lollywillowes

Ah 7& 9. They're a great age for helping & bribing!!

not wanting to share a bed/room is great incentive to declutter their belongings (just be sure to check them before sending them to a charity shop!!). Sell some if you can.

also old enough to watch a film/amuse themselves while you crack on!!

Daddy sounds like a twat! Sad though, no matter how much if a twat they turn into, it's not how you planned your future!

onwards & upwards!! You & the kids will be grand 😊. Of course you kept bits of your Grans, they're important to you & beautiful. You don't have to get rid of everything lovely or sentimental. You'll find room for what's important!!

Love my loft! Previous owners had turned it into a room with a loft ladder. Fabulous,

Outside storage depends on many things, I personally prefer a shed, I think they're more versatile and I think a wooden shed is nicer than plastic storage. Each to their own really.

hope you are ok tonight x

My Mum moved from a 3 bedded semi to a 2 bed bungalow….we thought we had got rid of loads before she moved….but when we arrived she was literally surrounded by boxes…..we ended up doing more tip runs and charity shop drops offs…..in all she probably got rid of 40% of her stuff…..but she was very happy to do this….and start again in her new home more minimumistically

Everyone has a million boxes when they move. Don't sweat.

Enjoy your new home, it will all come good

Free to collect on local Facebook page and be absolutely brutal. If it doesn’t work or too small - bin it

Glad you’re feeling better above the move OP. You’ve got some good advice on sorting things. Clearing out PiLs houses gave me some perspective on being ruthless in what you keep (grateful to my FiL for his lack of stuff compared to MiLs hoard!)

We only had our storage unit for 3 months so it was worth the peace of mind / less pressure for us to sort, agree not to see it as a long term thing as it’s not cheap.

We’re about to move again after only 18mths of being in current house. I’m so pleased we whittled stuff down following the downsize move we made two houses back, as most things were
packed really quickly, the rest will be done when we have a date. Makes you realise how much stuff we hang on to when there’s space to shove it away.

Thanks again everyone! I feel less lonely! Absolutely true @westcountryfaithful about the lack of nooks and crannies in new builds - the space either side of the chimneybreasts in the sitting room are weirdly tiny. Very little space to spread out.

Overall, everyone has helped me realise that getting rid of stuff and downsizing doesn't have to mean losing a part of yourself and/or failing somehow. But holding onto "things" can make us feel more permanent and take us away from the tricky transience of everything. Oh god. I'm going into a philosohole...

@demotedreally your response was bliss to hear. Wondered if movers think I'm a mad old bat.

Feel your pain. In two weeks we leave a large 4 bed detached with study to go to a 3 bed bungalow. We have been living abroad for em years and will also receive all
our stuff that’s been in store for 6 years. Honestly I’m wondering where it’s all going to go.

we are lucky in that we have a garage and I’m planning on putting quite a bit in there and transferring what we don’t need to a skip!! It’s all a bit daunting though….