Post London Move

[Jogreen88]

Me and my partner and 3 yo daughter made the move from London to the Midlands in March 2021. We lived in Hackney and loved it but like many felt a bit trapped by the prospect of having to rent indefinitely. My partner is freelance so works from home mostly. His flexibility and family connections meant on paper the midlands looked like a sensible option.

we’ve been here nearly a year and a half and whilst the first year was extremely difficult (partner hated it, we felt lonely, lots of work to do on the house) things have got better.

We both do however feel that this isn’t the place for us. We haven’t made any new friends and neither of us feel settled in the area.

Our current mortgage deal ends in March so we’re keen to review our options I.e. put the house on the market, rent it out.

the crux of the matter is that we don’t know where we’d move to. My partners family is in the midlands and my parents are in north London. Our budget (tops) would be about £400k.

We both want to be closish to London (under two hours car) but want to be in a place with its own identity, community and things going on.

When we lived in Hackney we used to travel to Folkestone and the surrounding area for the day and really loved the feel of Kent and the coast but we don’t have any family there so support network would have to be built from the ground up.

We have some family in Welwyn in Hertford but neither of us feel a particularly pull to Welwyn. Hertford is lovely but we know it would be difficult to buy there.

what have other people done who have been in this situation? Is it best we just stay put and settle? Are there areas that were not thinking of? Have people made a similar move to Folkestone?

looking for some pragmatic help.

Thanks.

Hi. My family and I moved to Folkestone from London (via Middle East) knowing no one here and almost nothing about the area. It has been the best gamble we’ve ever taken and we love it. There’s an FB group called Life After London which has a plethora of posts about moving down here. Happy to help if you decide you want to explore more and have specific questions.

V easy to make friends by the way - there’s always something going on and social media groups/societies for everything under the sun. Plus tonnes of free / cheap activities for families and little ones.

Hi @Jogreen88 How close do you want to be to family? Do you have a preference which family you'd like to be closer to? I'd have a look at house price maps to get an idea of where you could buy the sort of home you'd like. This one, for example. And from there, look at villages/towns/cities (whichever you'd prefer) in that area, and start looking at housing. The area between north London and the midlands has tons of options that could work for you, it's just a matter of deciding what's most important to you (a larger house, access to green space, access to cafes/restaurants, etc) and prioritising that way.

Won’t you start making friends when your daughter starts school? What is your job, where do you need to be based?

@Twasacceptableinthe80s Thanks so much. I think ideally we need to go and spend some time in Folkestone to get a real sense of it. From what we’ve seen and heard it sounds great, the lack of family would be an issue but the idea that there is access to a network is very appealing.

@SafelySoftly he works in IT, has an office in London which he needs to be in 1 day a week. Occasionally he’ll need to travel for site specific work.

@sarahb083 yes that’s partially why we thought the midlands and north of London would be handy - close to family and budget can go further. We really like Leamington, it has a lot more going on, good parks and local amenities and is centrally located so makes travel for partners work that bit easier.

Folkestone definitely feels more exciting - the draw of living by the coasts and community vibes but it’s definitely the less sensible option (no family, potential longer travel for my partner).

Were also conscious that we don’t want to keep moving our daughter around and want to give her the chance to settle so feel like the next move has to be the right one.

The Midlands is a big area. Where my brother lives in the Midlands is pretty awful but where my SIL (DH’s sister not my DB’s wife!) is perfectly nice. SIL used to live close to where my DB is and she really didn’t like it (she moved from London and people were rude to her because she was from the South) but she is very happy where she is now. What I am trying to say, is would you consider a different area in the Midlands?!

If you have found you haven't made friends perhaps think about that

Is it that there are not things you like to join in with?- search clubs etc
Is it that the community is very static / closed? Try an area with lots of new build
Is it that the "class" of the area is out of step with you

Where are you now op ? Because if I say somewhere like Nottingham or melton Mowbray - you may well live there.

Also depends what's acceptable to you house wise- 2 bed, 3 bed, house, flat etc

Whereabouts are you in the midlands? I’m from there, if you’re in or near the small town I grew up in I’m not overly surprised you haven’t made friends. The local community is pretty insular. What about a city in the midlands? Leicester and Nottingham have a fair amount going on. Or, if you don’t mind living in a flat, go back to London. You could get a 2 bed with outside space in South Norwood and perhaps some other areas in the south east. Easy access on the overground to Hackney and honestly the friendliest place I’ve ever lived (I live there now).

Sometimes you don't get the first move right - people move out of London with a big budget and dreams of country life, but end up somewhere that's picture postcard cute but the wrong demographic or doesn't have much going on.

It's a drag being far from family or having a lot of work related travel, especially in the current climate, it can get expensive. How about somewhere near Birmingham or on the fast train line into Euston, maybe that's a little more urban?

Thanks all. Lots of food for thought.

@NotMeNoNo @TedMullins I think we thought we made quite a sensible decision by moving to quite a busy city, we’re just on the outskirts of Coventry. We both like having access to a variety of shops, restaurants and takeaways and not having to drive lots so a country move whilst very appealing wasn’t ever going to be practical for us.

@midgetastic i think that’s a fair point and is something we’ve asked ourselves. I certainly don’t think it’s everyone else fault I just think that it hasn’t clicked for us and we’ve struggled to get into the rhythm.

thanks @TedMullins i think if we felt like we could afford a house (no leasehold) then a return to London would be the obvious one but we can’t and having dealt with management companies and service charges in the past we’re keen to avoid.

Finding the right place in the midlands would feel great as:

• Our budget can go further
• Close to family
• transport for OH is simpler

moving to somewhere like Folkestone would be great also as we like the city, it’s proximity to countryside and sea would be great for weekends but the downsides are its nowhere near family and travel for OH would be more difficult.

My choices personally if you stayed in the midlands would be

Warwick
Leamington
Nottingham (west Bridgeford is good , tons of facilities and close to town with good bus routes)
Melton Mowbray
Lichfield
Worcester - something like this at £279,000 is still really nice although not sure what your style is !!

www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/122297045

I think all of these might suit you more than Coventry area and I've checked on Rightmove and you can still get at least a decently done up 3 bed semi in all those areas. Sometimes more !!

Oh dear yes Coventry is challenging.

No more challenging than other cities, including London.

Leamington which OP likes is still under the Coventry banner with a CV postcode btw.

We have lived in Folkestone and hated it.

Each to their own.

I do know Coventry and the area actually, I used to live in Warwickshire. I don't like threads slagging off cities of the Midlands, but I think some places have historically become a bit run down and they are harder to move into. You are more likely to be living near people who grew up in the area and have pretty established circles. It takes a while to get to know people without a connection like the university or large employer to get you started.

Stratford, Leamington Spa, etc are totally different and popular with post-Londoners. From my observations anyway. OP they might be worth a look.

Strattford can be very cliquey from my family experience. I have IL with young children currently moving from there.

Leamington or Warwick or Cirencester

Also the south side of Leicester, Queens Road/Clarendon Park I think? It feels a bit North London like to me, you know, independent bookstore kind of place.

@NotMeNoNo I don’t really think there’s anything wrong with Coventry. It’s a young city, affordable, with quite a lot going on and it’s only going to get better thanks to the university. lots of the problems flagged are problems found in all major cities

unfortunately It just isn’t the right fit for us and we want to be in a place where we feel more settled.

leamington feels like the sensible decision but I think we’ll need to arrange to spend a bit more time in Folkestone.

The Folkestone of 5-10 years ago is nothing like the Folkestone of today. Prior to moving here I had only visited once to go to Rocksalt when it opened in 2012. I actually said to DH as we were driving out of town “well the restaurant was nice, but what an absolute dump - who on earth could live there”…as you rightly say, it’s horses for courses however this is a place that is unrecognisable to how it looked just a few short years ago and it’s immeasurably better for it!