Lost Dream House

[MurphDad]

Hi
Feeling absolutely gutted that I lost dream house because I procrastinated.
I am currently unhappy where I live even though it is close to my Daughter and Grandchildren. I have a burning desire to move to the west country near my son.
Estate Agent gave me details of a small cottage in the lovely same village as my son and went to view. Totally refurbished and a good price but I worried about the detail such as not having a bath and wondering if it was too small. Though I could see myself living there and would have given me what I wanted so much. Even though the agent mentioned that the sellers would take an offer before it went on market , I faffed around and it went to Market and lost it.
Cottages rarely come up in the village and I am finding it sooo difficult to stop kicking myself and afraid that nothing else will come up for the same price or standard of finish. My indecision and failure to pick up the signs from the agent that basically they were offering it on a plate for me is causing me a lot of distress.

Don’t be hard on yourself OP. It’s a big decision, unless you are ready to make that leap it’s not worth rushing. Who knows what will happen, sales often fall through, another property may come onto the market. If the property was perfect, you wouldn’t have been delaying would you? Good luck going forward.

Sometimes you need to miss out on an opportunity to know for sure that it’s what you want. You’ll be more prepared now for the next house that comes along.

The estate wasn’t trying to do you a favour by showing you first. It was to make their life easier and nothing else.

It sounds like it's helped you realise what you're looking for though?

It's also worth asking the estate agent to hang onto your details as not all sales complete (about a third were falling through when we were looking) so properties do come back on the market.

In my experience if it really was your dream house you wouldn’t have dithered. Don’t be hard on yourself sounds like you had some doubts and that’s ok.

Thanks, I have been tearing myself up whether to leave being near my Daughter and what is the right decision for months and you're right - big decision. There were things that I was unsure of with house. A good learning for me.

You followed your head, rather than your heart, which is wise. Use this time to think about what you'd like to have, what would be nice to have, and what you definitely don't want. I definitely need a bath - for my dog! Good luck and enjoy looking, you could rent first.

“Dream house” is just a marketing term. Like forever home.

There will be another house, if you decide to go with the move.

It wasn't the dream house though, OP - it was a bit small, and it didn't have a bath. If it had been the dream house you would have jumped at it. There will be another house.

Did have questions on the house, just looking back I think I was getting too hung up on the small negative details and not on the positives and the bigger picture that it would have given me - being near son, an area that fits my lifestyle and nearer to old friends. I had to start imagining myself living there and now have regrets that I sweated the small things. People are right probably not my "dream house but one that would have given me most of what I wanted. Guess I now know my priorities and hopefully something will turn up. Also have been questioning why I wanted to be in the exact small village as my son - another thread I guess.

It might be wise not to be too close to family. What about a nearby village? Or the edge of the nearest town?

((((HUG)))

fellow faffer & procrastinator here! Add in a few health issues & an accident last year and it's difficult. It's hard when you're on your own too, no one equally invested in it, to talk to!

Have you spoken to your daughter about moving away-what has she said? What did your son say? Would you want to live in that village if your Son decided to move away?

You need to be honest with yourself and decide if moving away from your daughter is what you really want & if that location is good for you, with it without your son there.

once you've done that, if you still want to move to that location then get all 'old school' and physically write a list of pro's & cons & decide if you would still want to buy the house if it was available.

if you do, and you're SURE approach the Agent & make it incredibly clear that you've resolved your personal issues that made you dither & if the opportunity was to come up you'd live to put in an offer. Then speak to all the agents that deal with houses in the area & get DS to keep an eye out too!

if you decide not to move then what could you do to make yourself a bit happier in your current location? Move house? Decorate? Find new hobbies? Spend more time with your daughter?