Super stressed about move

[WimbyAce]

This is my first post so please be kind. Just need an outlet really. We are due to move next month, still waiting on exchange/completion date. I am becoming more and more stressed. Has been a long old process, we originally sold our house over a year ago then we took a long time to find another one. In the meantime our buyers pulled out so we had to go through all the sales process again. Thought we had quite a straightforward chain and were due to complete a couple of months ago when it turned out the chain had doubled and was incomplete. Anyway it now all looks like everything is in place fingers crossed.
Just feel really stressed about the whole thing, feel like I am pretty much shouldering it all myself in terms of the solicitors and paperwork etc. I have also started doing the packing. Other half just doesn't seem to get involved, he is very laid back and I can see everything being very last minute if this does go ahead. Add to that things are very stressful at work at the minute I really feel I am struggling mentally. I am extremely anxious and just can't see the light at the end of the tunnel at the moment.

It's a shame you're doing everything yourself.

Fwiw, in the lead up to my last move, with a fully engaged partner, I still became slightly paranoid, unreasonably frightened that the home I was selling would somehow collapse before I could get out! It's such a stressful process.

Moving is the absolute worst, and it’s normal to be stressed and anxious about the whole process.

However you have to talk to your OH and let them know how this is making you feel, and what you need them to do to help. They need to start packing and sorting and planning too.

I'm sorry you're so stressed.

sounds like you could do with being with someone more willing to pull their weight & shoulder more responsibility, but I'm also guessing now isn't a good time to be thinking about splitting up with your partner, so maybe you need to 'work with what you've got'.

will he do stuff if you ask him?

is he reliable if you hand over responsibility for xyz to him?

at the very least us he ANY use if you say something like 'this weekend we need to pack up the garage, shed, spare room & tidy up the garden, so please don't make any other plans. I'll make an order for boxes & tape etc can you please collect it early Saturday morning? Then ask him to start on the shed.

or, obviously, whatever things suit you.

pack up as much as you can, as soon as you can. Number the boxes and keep a list of roughly what's in each & which room they're from. whenever/wherever you move to this will need to be done, so no point waiting.

There's no point saying 'don't worry' (like asking the tide to stop coming in), but try to remember that it is just moving house, it will happen at some time.

Thanks very much for the responses. He will do stuff but it is very much in his own time. He is planning having a week off before the move (pending work approval) and has mentioned sorting the garage and loft but I think he is underestimating how much there is to go through and multiple trips to the tip etc plus I don't want to be left with the responsibility of packing everything else. I think he could do with starting it already so we can get rid of some stuff.
When we moved in it was just us 2 but now we have 2 kids so is so much more stuff. I need him to look at papers later so will talk to him again about packing then.

I could have wrote this myself, apart from we sold in Feb. We are hoping to exchange next week but solicitors aren't responding so who knows.

I totally understand. We’re moving next weekend to another country and finally sent our stuff off earlier this week. So I can confirm there is light at the end of the tunnel - things are a lot calmer for us now!
If you can afford it/if it’s a thing where you are, paying the the moving company to pack your things could take some of the stress away. They can’t really do the sorting/decluttering etc. though. I had grand plans for that, made a big list and tried to do a bit each day taking rooms and topics in turn. But I just couldn’t manage it all in time without driving myself crazy. So in the end I decided I had enough on my plate and decided to just send the rest as it was and sort it out in my own time afterwards. Sounds like you’re already making quite good progress! So maybe be kind to yourself and scale down your expectations/plans a bit if it’s stressing you out too much. Focus on what really needs to be done now

Thanks, I think it is the packing that is the main stress as feels like it's been hanging over me for so long and just want to get it over with really.I did pack and store q a bit with relatives a couple of months back but then there was the delay so didn't want to pack too much in case it fell through. I am a big overthinker which doesn't help! I did speak to him earlier and said he needs to start sorting the garage at least, taking stuff to tip etc

We are pretty much the same, nearly a year and 2 buyers in! We should complete in Aug 🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞 but I’m too scared to pack in case it all falls through. Good luck.

I would book the packing service alongside removals- it’s not that much more.
But you and your husband still have to declutter or all your rubbish will be packed and come with you to your new house!

The packers are miracle workers and worth every penny.

Sounds like getting a packing company is definitely what you need. Moving is a stressful time at the best of times, take each little opportunity that will help to reduce the stress and free you up.
Some people (me) get energized at the last minute. Set a firm deadline for him to work to if you can.

Aww fingers crossed for you too then!

I'm betting it will take a lot longer than he thinks to sort out the garage and the loft. If you're at all like us, that could be a hard week's work or a lot more, even if you're gong to be taking much of it to the local tip. And if it turns out to be a hot week, working in the loft could be intolerable. I'd suggest that it's best to get going a.s.a.p.- then he will realise how much there is to do, and be able to do it a bit at a time, and when it's cooler. As for the rest, are you having professional removers? If so, I'd suggest paying them to pack if you can manage to afford it- ask them for a quote. It costs less than most people think and if they're a good firm they'll be very quick and efficient.