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Original poster

Moral dilemma - to pull out of a sale?

63 replies

Pamela83 · 28/06/2022 13:15

So this is my situation....I put an offer in last November, which got accepted, and there was an expectation to complete the sale within three months as there wasn't supposed to be a chain. After these three months, the sellers said that they changed their mind and want to wait until they've found their new property before completion (so effectively putting it in a chain). I was less than impressed, I didn't agree to the delay nor did I pull out of the sale, I thought let's wait and see.

Fast forward 8 months. Yesterday I saw another property - the property of my dreams! And this morning I had an email from the old estate agent and my solicitor saying that their chain situation is resolved now and they propose to complete next week. Had already three phone calls from the estate agent since.

What shall I do? Pull out of this purchase and pursue the new property I've seen, or go ahead and exchange next week on the old one? I feel terrible for letting the old sellers down so late in the process, but on the other hand it's obviously a big investment and I should buy the best property for me.... I try to make myself feeling a bit better by telling myself that if the seller had completed 5 months ago as initially agreed, they wouldn't be in this situation now. They took a gamble by letting me wait another 5 months, so probably they knew there was a risk of them losing their buyer? What should I do?

OP posts:
hammsalllad · 28/06/2022 13:19

Go with your gut, which house do you see yourself in?

If the original sellers didn't piss you about it wouldn't have been done and dusted ages ago so it was a risk they took, I'd feel no guilt pulling out if you feel that strongly about the new house.

40somethingx · 28/06/2022 13:19

So have you exchanged on this property?

I dont know really as we are supposed to exchange tomorrow after waiting 6 months and its been so stressful so I would be absolutely devastated to be let down after such a long time.

LemonSwan · 28/06/2022 13:24

Do you have an offer accepted on the dream place?

If so then go with that. You don’t want to live with regret.

Likewise it would be a gamble to pull out of the sale if you aren’t going to get the other place. Only you know whether that is worth the risk.

I wouldn’t think of the other parties - that complicated things and this is a hard enough decision for you as it is. You have to think about yourself and make the decision you can live with.

Lastqueenofscotland2 · 28/06/2022 13:26

Have you even viewed the other place? If it’s that amazing it might go to a bidding war and you lose both…
a bird in the hand and all that

sarahc336 · 28/06/2022 13:27

You might not even get the new house after a bidding war.... but you do need to do what's best for you op x

Fluffruff · 28/06/2022 13:31

Have you seen the dream property? If not I would get round there pronto and hold off the solicitors on the first property (just make something up for a couple of days like you are travelling with work).

notapizzaeater · 28/06/2022 13:38

Theyve made you wait, mow make them wait whilst you decide what to do

MRSAHILL · 28/06/2022 13:44

Go for the dream property. You'll never be happy with the original house if you wish you were in another one. I say this as someone who has sold 3 houses in the last 14 years and has been messed about frequently by potential buyers, withdrawing offers, backing out etc, and I never messed any of them about, always accommodated their requests, never changed time frames etc but these things happen during the process and nothing is definite until exchange or even completion. Buying and selling houses is such a massive thing, these things happen. If you want to withdraw your offer, then do so quickly so they can re market. Good luck getting the house you really want, I don't see the point of going ahead with the purchase of a house you don't like as much, especially after the sellers have messed you around.

Original poster
Pamela83 · 28/06/2022 13:48

Yes, I viewed the dream property yesterday and now I wonder whether or not to complete the offer sheet...I usually wouldn't even continue viewing properties once I had an offer accepted because I don't find this morally right, just in this case I feel that the old sellers had messed with me first by offering their property chain-free and then changing their mind, so my moral boundaries moved slightly on that one.

OP posts:
Twiglets1 · 28/06/2022 14:05

Do what’s right for you, we all have to do that when push comes to shove. As long as you haven’t already exchanged on the other property you are free to pull out and not too much guilt necessary in this case as the vendors have rather mucked you about anyway and should have locked down the deal when they had the chance

Doubleraspberry · 28/06/2022 14:30

The dream one. Houses are like jobs - they are too important to you to make decisions based on anyone's interests but your own. Your sellers will be hacked off but they messed you around, and they'll sell again anyway.

Mellowyellow222 · 28/06/2022 14:36

I would bid for the new house - if you get it then apologise and withdraw.

DomPerignon12 · 28/06/2022 14:38

The ‘moral’ part is clear to me. They messed you about, so you have every right to return the favour.

However your ‘dream’ property might go the same way, with a worse outcome. Are you willing to take the risk?

Porridgeislife · 28/06/2022 14:42

Go with the dream house and don’t take a backwards glance. Delay exchange if necessary to keep your options open. Your vendors have stuffed you around so they’ve only got themselves to blame.

JuneJubilee · 28/06/2022 14:47

@Pamela83

Make your offer on the new one.

The sellers of the original one only have themselves to blame!

If you weren't to get the new one, would you want the original one or would you keep looking for another one.

if you'd still want it, I'd delay delay felay...they kept you waiting long enough!!

if you wouldn't want it now & are happy to keep looking I'd just tell them you've changed your mind.

a house is too big a purchase to go through with out of guilt AND in this case they only have themselves to blame!

best of luck getting the new one!!

Allthegoodnamesarechosen · 28/06/2022 14:52

I don’t think you have any moral obligation to the sellers, because they didn’t feel any to you. They shaded the original deal by changing the conditions. Now it’s your turn.

frazzledasarock · 28/06/2022 14:55

I’d go with the house of my dreams.

Calmdown14 · 28/06/2022 14:59

Taking morality out of it and just going for practicality, I’d try and delay exchange by a few days (a last minute holiday, family visit) buy yourself a few days to see if you can get an offer accepted on the other one.

Pulling out when you might not get it seems foolish.

also consider your mortgage offer. The interest rate and terms at which you secured it might not be available if you start the process again.

What is it that makes the other house a more attractive prospect? Does it tick boxes this one doesn’t or is it more about feeling?

if you got neither, can you carry on living where you are or will it cause you any issues?

Surferrosa74 · 28/06/2022 15:07

What is the chain situation with the new one? For me, that would be paramount. No chain = 100% go for it. If the sellers still have to find somewhere I’d be more hesitant.

Crikeyalmighty · 28/06/2022 15:10

To be honest the other people have messed you around so I wouldn't feel that bad

Retrievemysanity · 28/06/2022 15:11

I’d go with the house of your dreams. House selling is a business transaction and everyone goes into it with their eyes open including the fact that someone might withdraw at the last minute, it works both ways and they could easily do the same to you if they changed their mind.

oakleaffy · 28/06/2022 15:13

Lastqueenofscotland2 · 28/06/2022 13:26

Have you even viewed the other place? If it’s that amazing it might go to a bidding war and you lose both…
a bird in the hand and all that

This.
If it’s that lovely, a bidding war could easily take place.
It’s a gamble.

longtompot · 28/06/2022 15:19

You don't know if the house you have your offer on currently will complete next week. They have a history of already doing what they said they wouldn't do, so I would offer on your dream house and see how that goes. Good luck!

Fe345fleur · 28/06/2022 15:31

Retrievemysanity · 28/06/2022 15:11

I’d go with the house of your dreams. House selling is a business transaction and everyone goes into it with their eyes open including the fact that someone might withdraw at the last minute, it works both ways and they could easily do the same to you if they changed their mind.

Totally agree with this. I think it depends on your appetite for risk. If you like the other house more, then pull out of this sale. But with the risk you might or might not get the dream house. No one owes anyone anything until you have exchanged, which is what can make buying a house such an emotional rollercoaster ride.

Original poster
Pamela83 · 28/06/2022 15:31

No chain on the new one (but that's what they said for the old one as well, so...) but I double checked since I am a burnt child now, and they said they are willing to add to the Memorandum of Sale that it will be sold chain-free.

Tbh the old house is nice and would serve the purpose, but then again nothing too special, I could find something similar, in case I'd lose both the old and the new. And I don't have any particular rush to move. Only thing is that I'd have to go through this whole jarring process of buying again.

OP posts: