Upcycling a brand new (and shit)looking engineered wood sink unit

[WelshMoth]

I've been caught out a treat on Etsy - didn't read the small print and the seller won't refund. What I thought was a rustic pallet-made unit is actually fake laminated MDF. It's not sturdy either so it'll only last a few years I imagine.

That said, it only cost me £70 but it's not a £70 I want to throw away.

I'm going to nail gun the hell out of the back and unseen areas to make it sturdy, but I'd really like to paint it/spray it/ do anything to it to make the fake-ness less visible.

Any ideas please?! I'm hand with a paint brush but I'm not really sure where to start with this.

Have you a photo?

www.rustoleum.com/product-catalog/consumer-brands/stops-rust/universal-bonding-primer

This is it.
I should have read the description - totally took it at photo value and bought it in a rush.

I love the rustic wood look but in reality, it looks fake the minute you clap eyes on it. I thought a paint job would at least make it look a little less plastic.

If you screw it to the wall, it will not wobble or flex.

Thanks @PigletJohn I'll definitely do that too.

I've seen some primer sprays/chalk sprays in Lidl but haven't a clue what they're like in appearance or what they're like to use.

@mokololo Thanks!
I'm guessing that, then a couple of coats of satin?!