Been here almost a year, still doesn't really feel like 'home'.

[RedTravellingSocks]

Has anyone else had this issue?

We moved into our new house last summer, new area and new jobs as well, so it has been a lot of change. We've done a lot of work on the house - redecorated every room, new floors, new kitchen, reconfigured the back garden etc. There is still quite a lot more work we'd like to do in the longer term, although it is perfectly live-able as it is right now.

I just don't feel as if it's 'home', though. I like the area, I'm starting to make friends, work is fine, so it's not that. I check Rightmove every day still and wonder how much we'd get for the house if we put it back on the market. The house was quite a big compromise in lots of ways, but I don't hate it, I just don't feel settled. It feels impermanent somehow, like it still belongs to someone else and we're just renting or house-sitting.

Has anyone got any advice? Do I just need more patience? I want to love my home!

Have you met your neighbours or the local community much? It made me feel much more at home to get to know the people around me more and have people in for cuppas and street party meetings etc

When we moved/decorated over 10 years ago everything felt a bit too new to be comfy for ages. I needed to get sentimental things up and around me and to put my own stamp on things a bit rather than all the more neutral interiors stuff I had been aiming for

Do you like they way your decorated or have you gone for something easy/neutral. Maybe you just need to find your style.

Have you got a dcat?
If not you need a dcat...
Then it's a home!!
Ime!!

You are still living in a work in progress, with so many big refurb jobs etc. You haven’t really ‘lived’ in the house as you have been so busy re-doing it.

Are you waiting until you have it ‘houseproud perfect’ for it to be your home?

Could it be because you compromised?
We did when we bought our last place and whenever we did a job to it, I'd have one eye on resale value and was ALWAYS on Rightmove!

I now LOVE our current home, the street it's on and town it's in - and don't feel that sense of impermanence any more.

This is probably it, I think. The other houses we'd viewed and offered on were interesting period properties in a slightly different part of town - but we kept getting outbid in last summer's insane market! I think I'm still pining for that kind of house (although they would have needed just as much work!)

We have a cat and I'm happy with the decoration

We're FTBs at a very late age. I wonder if it's also because I've spent all my adult life living in '"someone else's" house that I can't quite feel settled every when it's actually, finally, my own!

I’ve been in my house 2½ years and I’m only just beginning to feel settled, it was a long distance move followed by Covid, which didn’t help.
We haven’t decorated much as we have had to address quite a few structural problems but I’ve made big changes to the garden.

I'm still mourning the house that got away (gazumped) that had already been done up even though I know this house is probably in a better location.
It’s difficult, I don’t really know what the answer is, I can’t face moving again and we’ve spent so much money on this house I think we’d be lucky to make it back.

I think some of us who bought recently in the insane market might feel similar. Getting a house was like playing a lottery and the constant rightmove checking is a hard habit to break. I'm glad I moved but also had to compromise due to the insane market. I resist looking on the property sites now as I suspect I need to work on feeling settled rather than look to move again. The stock in this area isn't great anyway so I would be wasting time looking for happiness elsewhere!

I know MN loathes the concept of making memories, but I do think a house becomes a home when things that matter happen there.

Throw a few landmark birthday celebrations, a few good family Christmases, have friends over for long, lazy lunches etc. Go out on windy rainy days for long walks then come back for hot baths and cocoa and a good film, thankful it is so cosy. That makes it home.

I think some of us who bought recently in the insane market might feel similar. Getting a house was like playing a lottery and the constant rightmove checking is a hard habit to break

Definitely this! We bought in the insane market last year and while I’m really happy with the house we’ve ended up with in general, I still often look around and think “This is my forever house? Really?”. It’s just so different from where i imagined I’d settle down and raise my family for twenty or thirty years - lots of compromises in that market, and little room to hold on and wait for something more perfect.

Give it time. It will come, I’m sure

If you're FTBs then it most likely won't be your home forever. So don't stress that it doesn't really feel like it.

Instead keep making it more valuable with the work you're doing to it and think of the day you will be able to sell it for a profit and buy a home you really love.

If you're FTBs then it most likely won't be your home forever

At our age it could very well be!

I do just need to give it time, I guess. The 'making memories' point is a good one.

We’ve been in ours six years - and it still definitely doesn’t feel like home! I’m resigned to the fact that we can’t move for probably another 5 years though. We bought purely on location- I never loved the house. The location has been perfect for our ds though, and he’s had a happy childhood living here, but I will never love the house. Waiting till he goes into 6th form or Uni to move.

I've lived in four houses that I've owned and the second one never really felt like home. It also needed a lot of work but even when it was finished never felt settled. Ended up moving after 4 years

We moved a year ago and I don't feel settled at all. We don't like the area that much though and we compromised on the house. We also seemed to have swapped one bellend of a neighbour for another so feels like we're still in the same position but paid 4 times more for the privilege.

It's a full renovation project too and with a toddler and a newborn it will take us years to finish. Maybe once it's done I'll feel more settled.

I do remember it taking years to settle at my previous home (was a FTB) but by the time I moved 15yrs later I loved it and I still miss it.

Hi OP, do you still feel this way? I moved almost three months ago. We are also doing a lot of work but it's just about starting to look like a home. Didn't change job, DC schools and only moved 1/2 a mile away but like you we made quite a lot of compromises on the house and I really feel like we're renting or in a holiday home or something. It doesn't feel like mine. I've never had this when moving before. I usually feel settled very quickly, and excited about my new home. This time I just feel homesick for our old location.
There's still a lot to do so maybe when the bathroom is replaced etc I might feel better and more adjusted. Maybe it's just we need more time to pass, more memories etc. But I keep looking at rightmove too even though there's no way we could afford to move now, this last time almost bankrupted us!