Possible for renovations to NOT be a nightmare??

[ChickenShedLife]

We are going to be having some big renovations in the next year (loft conversion, knock through kitchen diner). From everything I read it sounds like it is inevitably going to be a massive nightmare and our lives are going to be horrendous and stressful until it's finished. Is this really true? Has anyone ever experienced doing major renovations without having your family/ relationship / life entirely break down? Is there anything I can do to mitigate the horror...?

Me too and I'm very very anxious after watching way too many Grand Designs, although nothing on that scale.
Following for tips, the thought of no kitchen for weeks with 2 small children keeps me awake at night.

We did the kitchen knock through at the start of lockdown whilst I was heavily pregnant/ had newborn DTs. We moved in with my parents for a few weeks at the worst point, but wouldn’t have done if DTs were older. We taped up the kitchen with dustsheets which helped a lot. The noise disruption is inevitable.

We bought a ‘doer upper’, fully renovated it, knocked down walls, new bathroom, kitchen, every room plastered, log burner installed etc.. majority ourselves (just not gas plumbing) in just under 12 weeks, heavily pregnant and our 3 year old with no previous trades experience just sheer enthusiasm and lots of elbow grease (and research).

I looked at it as exciting, not a nightmare, every day something was being done by us bit by bit, a new job tackled, closer to the end goal.

I genuinely think having this mindset saved us. We threw ourselves into the project and loved every bit of it, wouldn’t bat an eyelid at doing it again. I was stripping 1970s wallpaper in labour 😅

Its a short term loss (of convenience) for long term gains, just focus on that.

Yeah it's mostly a bit stressful but all depends on getting the right people for the job .

Currently living in a building site, back of the house knocked through, no kitchen for a further 4 weeks! I have one toddler! Trying to keep on top of the mess, using slow cooker, microwave and George Foreman grill and working is stressful! Our builders have been fab! And everything has gone to plan! But it's a struggle!

I mostly enjoy it too! We are having loft and kitchen diner extension, but not until we have created a sitting room, loo and untility room by moving walls around. I am finding it not disruptive.
We are heavily involved and we wanted to do it, I am really enjoying it too so far. We don't expect perfection and the kids are fine with it all. We don't use the oven every day as we BBQ and have an instant pot / air fryer / microwave so it is all good

Life is what you make it. If it is more about the end result than the getting there just make sure you keep your eyes on the prize!

Ahhh, you're all making me feel much better! Whenever I mention to anyone about the work we're planning they're very doom mongery and warn me to prepare to just argue with DH for months on end. Nice to know that it's possible to actually enjoy the process (or at least not hate it). Kids are a little older (6 and 9) and we have family we can stay with for a short while if it gets too much, but we're hoping to live in the house for most of the work. I'm excited about it, but everyone I speak to brings me down!

We did renovations last year with young DC (baby and toddler) and it wasn’t too bad. We had a loft conversion, new kitchen and a few rooms replastered. We tried to find random things to get excited about, my oldest DC loved having “floor picnics” in the living room whilst the kitchen was being done! And a grown up shower in our en suite whilst the bathroom was out of action storing things. Whilst the plastering was being done I temporarily moved in with my parents with DC so they didn’t have to put up with plaster dust.

We're 2 1/2 years into a doer-upper. I find I just have learned to ignore mess and just not see it- even in the room which still has two walls stripped and painted nicely, and the other two still horrible wallpaper with the pattern not centred on the fireplace, which drives me nuts- that job has been paused for over a year while we do other jobs. It can be depressing at times, but as people keep telling us (we now grit our teeth what people say it because they mean well) 'it'll be great when it's done'.😐General advice is to get/have at least one room decent so you have a refuge when it all gets too much. Which is good advice, though sometimes not possible to follow as other rooms may have to be emptied into it whilst they are being done....
We have almost never got annoyed with each other, but we are fiends for talking things over reasonably until we both agree on what needs to be done, which is time consuming, but avoids fights.
The kids may even enjoy it- especially if the workers on the jobs are friendly to them.

I think it depends on your character. I don't mind it, but my OH nearly has a mental breakdown, which I'm not very sympathetic about I have to say!!!

Depends on the individual. Some people don't mind a certain level of chaos going on.

(We get a lot of satisfaction looking back at the various jobs as they are done- that helps us keep going. It's good to be able to have things done the way you want, rather than buying a 'done' house full of compromises- it keeps on being satisfying long after the job is done. And it's nice when workmen come to do a job and say nice things about the bit you've just done. I got compliments on the render painting from a chap delivering timber as I got down off the ladders last week- and at my age getting compliments from blokes is a rarity. I think he was impressed to see a little grey old woman up scaffolding with a rope harness on.😊)

Get in your mind that there will be some challenges but everything can be tidied up and in the long run it will be worth it.

Train yourself to expect mess but to work around it.

We had major renovations and I work from home. We had to cook in the garage and the washing machine was under a tarpaulin in the garden. We just decided that we would just have to get on with it and so we did.

If you expect stress you will subconsciously make yourself stressed.

We moved out whilst the renovations were being done. I think that really helped a lot with reducing the stress of the build.

I loved doing up my favourite house! But to mitigate stress always have contingency money! And if you can move out if you've only got one bathroom. That bit nearly did me in.

Keep an eye on the prices of things, plan take always into your budget, always bargain for a good deal. How exciting!