What should do

[Lonelybanna]

I am a single parent with two school going children. I currently rent in an expensive area- near the city One child is starting secondary in September and the other is starting 2nd year. I got a permanent job and commute 2 hours per day. Life is hectic with juggling work, school runs and commuting- never mind exhausting. I have got the opportunity to buy a starter home which is near my job no commute, more time with the children, less money on fuel etc but l am struggling re the guilt of moving my children from what is familiar to them. They will be happy with more space and more time with me but it's a big transition from city to country. Its a big decision to make on my own but l am desperate for my own home. I cannot afford to buy where l am currently living and changing jobs is not an option for a few years. Can anyone offer me advice? Thanks for reading.

same as single mom, also will move from city to more countryside soon, absolutely understand your struggles. talk to kids and let them involve in the decision making. discuss pros and cons together.

let them involve in the decision making
I disagree with this. Be the parent, make the decision.
Give them choice and involve them but make it over things like "do you want blue paint or green paint?"

If you move now will you get into the schools you want in September? Do you know how over/under-subscribed they are.

My dc were slightly younger - all moved in the back end of primary - tech made it easier to keep in touch with their friends.. And your dc are old enough to travel to see their friends also op..
As the adult op make the decision and tell dc you will support them with WiFi and bus fares!

They will get a place in the school. I feel so guilty but trying to consider what is best for our future. I have to get on the property ladder too but feel so conflicted too.

It's a no-brained OP! You will burn out at this rate. Get the house fgs the kids will settle down in next to no time, it's a great time to move with your older DC starting a new school.

I feel so guilty
Why? Where's the logic in renting in an expensive area when you don't work there?

For what it's worth, my DC haven't kept in touch with any of their Primary school friends. University yes, Secondary yes but Primary no. I still have a present that DD got which swore that her little trio would be 'best friends forever' - they haven't contacted each other for 20 years!

Put the guilt behind you and move. As previous poster says, the kids make new friends at secondary school and often drop primary school friends pretty quickly. You are doing your best for all of you - your needs are very important too.

move! One is going to be moving schools anyway and the benefits to everyone's quality of life seem to outweigh the negatives.

Do it!

Goodness, add up the hours (and cost! ) you will save commuting!

Big up to your kids what an amazing thing it us that you will own your own house.

Start of new school year so a great time to make new friends.

It sounds like an unmissable opportunity.

Well done!

make the move. it is much better to move before secondary and the kids will settle down quickly. don't give them the choice, just tell them how it will all work out. They will make new friends quickly at this age but it is much harder to move once they get into doing GCSEs etc.

if they get stressed, watch 'Inside Out' together about a kid moving in her teens and learning to like it.