Not sure where to move

heg502 · 2022-05-21T20:08:13+00:00

Since having kids we've been constantly questioning where to live and it's exhausting! We've got somewhere near a brilliant school but the house itself is average with a tiny courtyard garden. Me and my husband are from different parts of the country and we also debate urban vs more rural. The fact that I work from home probably doesn't help us narrow things down. The constant questioning of our choices is exhausting not to mention getting expensive. Does anyone else have this experience? Is it something about having kids that makes you question everything?

Lemmingsarecool · 21/05/2022 21:17

When we were having kids we needed to move too. We narrowed down our 'must have' list to something like a smallish safe town with low crime rates, lots of open areas, woods, beach within walking distance, sense of community with a good high street (we're self employed), good schools, lots of clubs and activities for the kids and baby groups, easy access to town within 40 minutes and a garden was non negotiable. We visited areas that we thought fit what we needed and settled where we are and have to say don't regret it.

Have a chat about what you value and how and where you want the children brought up and just explore any options. We love where we live and I'm so glad we made that list and stuck to it. Good luck!

changingforthebetter3 · 22/05/2022 07:27

Yes, me! It gives me such a headache not knowing what to do for the best!

I have 2 children who are in primary. We live in a lovely village about 5miles from town, low crime, lovely people, activities for the kids, lovely school, a house which is fine for now but feel we will outgrow as they get bigger. But the town we live in is horrible, I avoid it at all costs so do many other people. I worry that the kids will have nowhere to go when they are older apart from there and it's really rough with high crime, drugs and issues. But our family is here too and our jobs, although my partner has mainly WFH since covid so I guess that's not a huge issue now.

I'm torn because here and now everything for the kids is perfect, but I worry that when they are older they won't want to move, so we should do it when they are younger but give up everything they have now. But then also think, what if they do also want to move when they are older and we can just move when we outgrow this house and they are in high school? Then i think I might just be overthinking it all.....but yes, exhausting. Anyone any advice?

Original poster

heg502 · 22/05/2022 21:01

changingforthebetter3 · 22/05/2022 07:27

Yes, me! It gives me such a headache not knowing what to do for the best!

I have 2 children who are in primary. We live in a lovely village about 5miles from town, low crime, lovely people, activities for the kids, lovely school, a house which is fine for now but feel we will outgrow as they get bigger. But the town we live in is horrible, I avoid it at all costs so do many other people. I worry that the kids will have nowhere to go when they are older apart from there and it's really rough with high crime, drugs and issues. But our family is here too and our jobs, although my partner has mainly WFH since covid so I guess that's not a huge issue now.

I'm torn because here and now everything for the kids is perfect, but I worry that when they are older they won't want to move, so we should do it when they are younger but give up everything they have now. But then also think, what if they do also want to move when they are older and we can just move when we outgrow this house and they are in high school? Then i think I might just be overthinking it all.....but yes, exhausting. Anyone any advice?

This sounds almost exactly my situation! Where we live is perfect for now. What we've tried to do is focus on our number 1 priority, schools. Therefore we need to be in a good catchment and thus forgo the nice house/garden.
It's so tempting to not, though, when a nice house comes out in a slightly different catchment. But if there's a niggle it'll just keep coming back. Maybe once where in the school we might move again.
So difficult when the girls are clearly enjoying all the garden space they've got to think we won't have it in our new home! The priority list really helps, and some things you just need to work through in your head, you'll know when you get there

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