Moving again soon - can't face it...

[OUB1974]

Has anyone else moved quite quickly after an initial move? I posted a couple of weeks ago about the problems we are having with barking dogs. We have spoken to both neighbours but nothing has changed and one plainly said he was sorry, but he can't stop it.

It is having a terrible effect on all of us. I suffer from anxiety anyway and this has made it far worse. We are all snapping at each other all the time and we do need to move. In a way it would be good as we can now just about afford a detached house (we moved last year due to redundancy and so had a tight budget).

I am really struggling though to start the process necessary. I'm worried the dogs will put potential buyers off and the stress from trying to find a house and moving last year is still very fresh in my mind.

We have a lovely house and garden and I would want something similar. There isn't much on the market though and I am hesitant to put ours up if we can't find one quickly. We moved in with relatives last year and couldn't do it again. I'm worried about more upheaval for the kids, especially my eldest, who is very sensitive. But they are also picking up on our stress.

I just can't seem to find the energy to deal with it all. There is so much to do and I just want to feel settled and happy after 2 years of upheaval (it is almost 2 years to the day since I lost my job).

Has anyone been in this situation? Any words of wisdom?!

No words of wisdom. Only you bought the house and the barking dogs didn't put you off. I need to move too and am procrastinating, it's exhausting just trying to work out what to do. I think we need to find a way to 'reframe' it. Chin up and best wishes to you.

can you access some kind of cbt or counselling to reduce your reaction to the barking dogs in the meantime? I dont know what would help but I know that once we get irritated by something we become super sensitive to it

I was thinking something similar after your last thread. You can’t control the barking dogs, but can you make it so they have less control of you?

We have a children’s book called Rabbit and Bear The Pest In The Nest, and I think I learned more from it than our kids. It’s really lovely and wise. The central premise is that rabbit’s nerves are being shredded by a noisy woodpecker who has moved into his valley but he eventually reframed his thinking (it’s got some mindfulness ideas in there).

A dog barks in our neighbour’s yard late at night, which never bothered me. Since reading your thread, it has bothered me a bit! I think my brain went from “oh a dog, poor agitated dog” to “that dog noise is something to be annoyed by”. I feel like if the transformation in one direction is possible, maybe the transformation in the other direction is too? It’s not easy, obviously, but it would avoid so much expense and stress if you could retrain your brain to respond differently to the noise.

I get it op. I moved twice in 17 months because of awful neighbors. I will be moving again fairly soon.

It is an upheaval but my health was so bad and moving here has really helped me.

The owners would soon do something about the barking if you got environmental health involved. They would probably know it was you who reported though so you’d have to weigh up the pros and cons of reporting.

Thank you for the replies. Our neighbour was off work on Friday so the dog wasn't home alone - it was wonderful! It's surprising how one day can make you feel better...then he was so noisy last night. He also has his telly and radio on really loud, although that bothers my husband more than me.

I've identified some free cbt that I can access, so I'm going to look into that. I've already had my anxiety medication increased, I don't know if it's just the feeling of doing something, but I am remaining a bit calmer.

I will have a look for the book @housemadd thank you. Sorry I've made you notice your neighbour's dog more! I need to try to put up with it better, even if we do move as we still have a couple of months.

The problem is @TheGriffle that we have a whole street full of dogs and they set each other off. I have never known so many dogs in one street. Obviously next door bothers us the most, but there are 3 more (very yappy) the next house along. Sometimes I hear barking down the street setting those 3 off, then they set off next doors. If he's in, he gets it to stop, but it's at home alone all day so can often bark for ages (to be honest even a couple of minutes feels like a lifetime). It seems an insurmountable problem, and if we report and it doesn't get better, then we will find it hard to sell the house if we have official complaints registered.

We are going to have the house valued and take it from there. I want a house I like as much as this one, without the noise. We went to look at one last week, which wasnt suitable, and there aren't many around. It really is hell sometimes so we need to move really. X

OUB1974 I'm not stalking you, promise and can't offer any advice I'm afraid, but we're in a similar position and will be looking to move if things don't improve. It's heartbreaking. We love (loved) this house and have so many great memories. We always thought we'd be here until DS was fully grown.

We've approached our NDN about it twice now, and our next step will be to put everything to them in writing, including the frankly massive impact it's had on all of us. We 'll also be warning them that the next step will be a formal noise complaint if there isn't a significant improvement.

I know th is isn't necessarily an option for you, but I thought it might help to hear from someone in the same boat.

When last in a similar situation, I was reminded me of something a family member I loved dearly would say - obstacles are what you see when you take your eye off the goal. So, take it a step at a time and hold on to that vision of a better life. Good luck!