Tell me your renovation stories whilst living with in laws/family

HotChocolate16 · 2022-05-18T19:28:44+00:00

Evening all So we are currently renovating a house we bought, just sold ours, and have moved in with in laws whilst the work is being doing. It’s looking to be 2/3 months but I’m struggling so much! It’s me, DH and DS who is 2. I’m also due baby number 2 in 6 weeks and will be most likely having the baby here. In this house it’s my MIL, FIL BIL and SIL. I’m struggling with the lack of my own space (me and DS and DH in one bedroom). Not being able to relax comfortably downstairs , struggling with keeping DS entertained in the day. I hate being here and it’s really depressing me I feel like I’m in a black hole. was just wondering if anyones been in a similar position and how you got through it?

CorsicaDreaming · 18/05/2022 21:10

That sounds pretty tough going OP...

I'd need to rent. It would drive me batty to live with in laws... not sure how much help that is, but I feel your pain 💐

JBFletcher90 · 18/05/2022 21:13

No advice but following because I could have written this myself! Except we are moving in with ILs next week and it’s just MIL/BIL to contend with.

I am already beginning to feel claustrophobic at the thought, all of our stuff is in storage and a baby due in 7 weeks along with 2yo DS and DH in one room as well.

Construction started on our house last week, concrete for foundations will be getting poured on Saturday so I am praying that everything will be finished by the August timeline the builder has given!

Sending you strength!

Original poster

HotChocolate16 · 18/05/2022 21:18

Thank you @CorsicaDreaming x

@JBFletcher90 sounds like our situations are extremely similar! I’m hoping to me in our house by end of July! I just keep picturing the end goal. It is extremely tough though and the days are very long entertaining DS at my in laws house when I’m just on edge all the time. I’m actually considering increasing his nursery hours (he goes twice a week currently) as he’s so bored here and it’s difficult getting out and about with him right now, and I just feel so depressed with everything! But then the thought of that makes me feel guilty too. Although I know he loves it there.

OP posts:

JBFletcher90 · 18/05/2022 21:36

@HotChocolate16 I completely get what you mean about keeping DS entertained. Currently in our flat we have everything set up so it’s easy for him to get what he needs, and we don’t have to be constantly hovering around him and watching that he doesn’t hurt himself. But IL house is not set up for a toddler so it feels like double the effort to keep him occupied and safe!

We’ve got him in nursery for 5 half days a week and it’s been a godsend for us as I know he loves the freedom of just being outside and being able to burn off any energy he has. It gives me some time to prep for baby and get my own errands done. If you are able to increase it, I’d say do it sooner rather than later so he has time to adjust and doesn’t think the increase is attributed to the new baby.

CocktailsOnTheBeach · 18/05/2022 21:37

We got through it with great difficulty. My advise would be to throw some money at it and rent. My husband refused to rent somewhere whilst we did our house up (we paid rent at his parents but half market value, and bought our own food so it didnt save much in the end). It completely ruined our relationship and we no longer speak. I had my first child in that time too so that really didn't help. It blured lots of boundaries, my in laws were controlling and interfering before this, so living under their roof made matters 1000 times worse. I really do wish my husband had just agreed to rent somewhere. Sending you strength and patience.

Original poster

HotChocolate16 · 18/05/2022 21:39

JBFletcher90 · 18/05/2022 21:36

@HotChocolate16 I completely get what you mean about keeping DS entertained. Currently in our flat we have everything set up so it’s easy for him to get what he needs, and we don’t have to be constantly hovering around him and watching that he doesn’t hurt himself. But IL house is not set up for a toddler so it feels like double the effort to keep him occupied and safe!

We’ve got him in nursery for 5 half days a week and it’s been a godsend for us as I know he loves the freedom of just being outside and being able to burn off any energy he has. It gives me some time to prep for baby and get my own errands done. If you are able to increase it, I’d say do it sooner rather than later so he has time to adjust and doesn’t think the increase is attributed to the new baby.

That’s exactly the same here. I have to folllow DS around the house at my in laws, it’s just very tiring as it’s not fully child proof like ours was.

we do have the means to increase to 5 nursery days and was thinking to do it within the next week or so. I just worry he will wonder why he’s going so much and my guilt makes me feel like as if I’m fobbing him off when technically I am around and could have him with me. It’s just extremely hard at the in laws.

OP posts:

Original poster

HotChocolate16 · 18/05/2022 21:41

CocktailsOnTheBeach · 18/05/2022 21:37

We got through it with great difficulty. My advise would be to throw some money at it and rent. My husband refused to rent somewhere whilst we did our house up (we paid rent at his parents but half market value, and bought our own food so it didnt save much in the end). It completely ruined our relationship and we no longer speak. I had my first child in that time too so that really didn't help. It blured lots of boundaries, my in laws were controlling and interfering before this, so living under their roof made matters 1000 times worse. I really do wish my husband had just agreed to rent somewhere. Sending you strength and patience.

Thanks, so definitely not just me who feels/felt the struggle then! Was starting to wonder if I was being over the top with how much I’m struggling to cope

OP posts:

lightand · 18/05/2022 21:42

I did it, back in the day. Was 2 months as well. Nearly cracked at the end.

I knew there was an end to it, and a nice end. It helped that in laws were as reasonable as could be expected.

It might help to tell them you are struggling? If they are all reasonable people they will understand and might be able to make things all a little more bearable for you?

Original poster

HotChocolate16 · 19/05/2022 10:04

@lightand they are reasonable people which is why I’d feel bad mentioning I’m struggling. I don’t think there’s anything they can do to make it easier for me tbh. I just need my own space with my son. I decided to put my son in nursery full time in the week for the next 8 week, I feel so awful for it though every time I look at him I feel racked with guilt like I’m failing him by not being able to keep him with me

OP posts: