Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Property/DIY

Join our Property forum for renovation, DIY, and house selling advice.

Flip

Original poster

Not married, split with ex partner. Joint house together. Buying me out of mortgage

22 replies

Marshmellow123 · 13/04/2022 21:24

This is my first post here, I just wanted to see if anyone has been in this situation
Me and my ex partner have split - not married. We have a house together. He did not want to sell the house, therefore he is buying me out of the mortgage with a guarantor. It has been delayed for various reasons, but now hoping to hear back this month if it has been approved with the lender so my name can come off the mortgage, deeds and receive equity
Anyway, I live in the south east. Let alone house prices, flat prices are +++. I work as much as I can 4 days a week currently with childcare those days. I am planning to work every other Saturday soon whilst my son is with his Dad. It appears even with my salary, child benefit and maintenance I am unable to borrow enough to get a mortgage even for a 2 bed flat.
I am feeling a little low about it currently. I have worked hard over the years and have a career. I can stay living at my parents for some years and keep saving. I am just wondering if anyone is currently or has in the past experienced a similar situation and share their experience with me
Feeling quite sensitive at the moment, so please be kind

OP posts:

Starseeking · 13/04/2022 22:32

Have you seen a broker yet? I've heard some of them are able to find amazing mortgage deals for people, so don't be too despondent yet.

Also, have you looked into shared ownership properties? You buy less of the equity initially, however it means you can afford to get a better property than you otherwise would.

Bedsheets4knickers · 13/04/2022 22:38

Have you left the house ? I'd sit tight and let the courts sort it out

gogohm · 13/04/2022 22:41

Shared ownership could be a good option if you have a lump sum, once your settlement is finalised speak to a broker to find out you max borrowing

Original poster

Marshmellow123 · 13/04/2022 22:57

Hi all I spoke to a broker today and I won't be able to afford a 2 bedroom flat here. I have another telephone appointment tomorrow with another broker. And a telephone appointment with a bank next week.
I moved out of the property last year.
I have thought about shared ownership, I guess that is an option. I guess my only concern with this is I will have to pay part rent and then mortgage so it will add up in my monthly expenses. It would be an option though. Thank you for your messages

OP posts:

Bedsheets4knickers · 13/04/2022 23:17

@Marshmellow123

Hi all I spoke to a broker today and I won't be able to afford a 2 bedroom flat here. I have another telephone appointment tomorrow with another broker. And a telephone appointment with a bank next week. I moved out of the property last year. I have thought about shared ownership, I guess that is an option. I guess my only concern with this is I will have to pay part rent and then mortgage so it will add up in my monthly expenses. It would be an option though. Thank you for your messages

Ok you moved out that's not so bad but if you've Carried on paying your half of the mortgage you'll get a fair split x

CrushedPistachios · 13/04/2022 23:19

Could your parents help out? Perhaps by going on the mortgage with you or putting more money towards a deposit?

Soontobe60 · 13/04/2022 23:22

If you’re living with your parents, does that work for you? Or are you desperate to move into your own place?

Original poster

Marshmellow123 · 13/04/2022 23:42

I will still be getting what I am entitled to 50 per cent equity. But even with this being my deposit and income I still require more to buy a place, due to the property prices.
Family are unable to help, they do not work/own a property. Not that I expect them to help me.
Thank you again for your replies. I was feeling a little low today that I will not be able to achieve this yet.
I can see how long I can emotional cope living with my parents, the living situation is not ideal. Whilst saving. I should be able to get a better picture a the end of the month hopefully. I will make it work I am sure with time

OP posts:

Starseeking · 14/04/2022 00:26

I'm not sure if not having been married makes a difference, however my understanding was that whoever has the DC for the majority of time could be due a greater share of the equity, e.g. 70/30, rather than a straight 50/50 split. If no-one has yet advised you around that, I'd get a solicitor to look into it.

What you pay the solicitor will be well worth it if it means you can afford a more suitable home for you and your DC.

ItsYabbaDabbaDoTime · 14/04/2022 02:02

Make sure your 50% equity is based on a recent valuation.
It might be best to buy a one bed for now if that’s all you can afford. Sadly your savings are unlikely to outpace rising prices, even if you do live with parents.
Another option could be to buy and rent a one bed, live with your parents for a couple of years, then your savings boosted.by rental income might stretch to a deposit on a two bed.

Bedsheets4knickers · 14/04/2022 02:49

Can you afford a 1 bed flat ? How many DC do you have ? If it's only 1 I'd look into buying a one bed if nothing else but to keep yourself on the ladder .

Sunflowergirl1 · 14/04/2022 07:09

@Bedsheets4knickers

Have you left the house ? I'd sit tight and let the courts sort it out

Unfortunately this is somewhat poor advice. You are not married and all you are doing is probably delaying the inevitable and incurring large legal bills of circa £350 per hour plus VAT. It may be worth having a free half hour and checking if there are any possibilities if you remaining in the house until your child is older but it doesn't sound like it

Be realistic like it sounds you are

Notmyyearthisyear · 14/04/2022 07:12

If the children stay with you as the main carer you are entitled to more than 50%. Speak to a solicitor now.
The courts will want to see that both your housing needs are met, and you have the kids so yours are the priority. Your partner offering 50% is not fair in your situation. It would be if you could afford somewhere with that money but you clearly can’t.

Original poster

Marshmellow123 · 14/04/2022 08:03

We are not married, we had a house together that we renovated contributing 50 per cent each. My reason for moving out was because I moved a hour away to where him and his family lived. I had no friends/family near me. I am now back to where I previously lived. I did ask to sell the house first choice but he refused and wanted to buy me out of the mortgage with use of guarantor. I did explain to him last year that I will not be able to afford a 2 bedroom place and asked if I could have more than 50 per cent equity but he will not give me a penny more.
I have also sold my car, as he wanted his contribution back to it and got a lovely smaller car.

To the person who mentioned a 1 bedroom flat yeah I can afford this. I could buy and rent it - this didn't occur to me so this is an option.

We are not married. I have one child. It went on for 3-4 months me trying to get him to agree to more than 50 per cent equity but it didn't get me anywhere and made me more stressed, on top of everything else (new job, finding a preschool, son in preschool almost full time, sorting out my parents house - houlders to making the living condition safe for my son, selling my car, making my sons room nice, I don't currently have a room my stuff is in the hallway)

I did speak to a solicitor last year 30 mins free, and rest via email.

Thanks again for all your responses so far

OP posts:

DameCelia · 14/04/2022 08:10

@Notmyyearthisyear and @Starseeking
As @Marshmellow123 wasn't married she's not 'entitled' to anything other than 50%.
This is why MN bangs on about the importance of marriage for women.
@Marshmellow123 I'd be looking at buying somewhere cheaper if that could be made to work, part ownership, buying a 1 bed and using the living room as a bedroom or buying a 1 bed, renting it out and living with family to build up some equity and stay on the housing ladder.
Good luck

MrJollyLivesNextDoor · 14/04/2022 08:10

Absolutely go for the 1 bed if that's all you can afford

Good luck

FurierTransform · 14/04/2022 08:14

I didn't think any entitlement to more equity split existed if you were not married, even of there are kids... Property is just split as per the ownership terms?

Sorry to hear of your situation OP. It's really good you have the option of living with your parents so no immediate stress. You say you've maintained your career which is really good :) - personally I'd focus on that aspect - high inflation means decent pay rises in the near future for those who switch roles/companies/get promoted, and this is probably the fastest way to bridge that funding gap between where you are now, and the prices of homes you are after.

CarmenThePanda · 14/04/2022 08:22

Is he the father of your child?

Presumably he will pay child maintenance?

OctopusSay · 14/04/2022 08:27

How/when was the value of the equity agreed? I recently had my house valued for tax purposes and I was at how much it's gone up since the last time I checked.

Starseeking · 14/04/2022 09:04

[quote DameCelia]**@Notmyyearthisyear* and @Starseeking*
As @Marshmellow123 wasn't married she's not 'entitled' to anything other than 50%.
This is why MN bangs on about the importance of marriage for women.
@Marshmellow123 I'd be looking at buying somewhere cheaper if that could be made to work, part ownership, buying a 1 bed and using the living room as a bedroom or buying a 1 bed, renting it out and living with family to build up some equity and stay on the housing ladder.
Good luck[/quote]

Thanks for this information, I wasn't aware of that. Like @Marshmellow123, when I split with my EXDP (not married) I left with 50% and my 2DC, as it would have been too stressful to fight my controlling EXDP for more.

So many people since I left have advised me that I should have pursued him for an extra share in the property (including the solicitor I have engaged to agree contact now!), so it seems that this information is not common knowledge.

Original poster

Marshmellow123 · 14/04/2022 11:50

@OctopusSay yeah the price has got up quite a bit since purchased and house renovations. But even with that being a deposit and 4.5 times my salary, unable to afford.
@CarmenThePanda yes he is. I do get maintenance and this is contributed to what I am able to borrow with my mortgage depending on the lender.
@MrJollyLivesNextDoor and @DameCeliayes thank you, if this is all I can get I will have to go for this or shared ownership. I will see what works best when the time comes
@FurierTransform thank you for your kind words. I think with time all will work out. I feel just currently it gets me down at times, as I would love a space for me and my son and want to get to that place now. But I have to keep working towards that - and I will get there

@Starseeking thank you, may I ask how was your experience? Did you manage to buy a property for you a your two DC? I understand I felt it was too stressful and I was getting no where trying to explain, so I just let go - work it out with time and to emotionally deal with the situation. The prices up north are more affordable than the south - but moving that far isn't possible.

OP posts:

Starseeking · 14/04/2022 15:29

I also have really supportive family locally @Marshmellow123 so DC and I were able to move in with them until completion of house. The first house I was supposed to buy, the vendor pulled out after 7 months as she changed her mind. I'm now in the midst of buying a different property, which I expect to complete in the next couple of months.

Things were much easier for me in our split as I'm a high earner myself, so I wasn't concerned about mortgage affordability or bills, but even still the house I'm buying is at the top end of my budget (outer London), and I'll have a huge mortgage for 1 person to service.

Flip