Home getting me really down

[Mumofboys109]

I bought a large house that was a proper do-er upper 4 years ago. It’s my first home and my dad being very handy with DIY and also a chartered surveyor and property developer I thought I was in safe hands. Anyway it didn’t really go completely to plan- builders messed us around, my dad became Ill, covid happened.. so I’m left with large parts of my house unfinished, lots of unfinished little jobs like my bedroom door not closing properly and having no architraves ect. No carpet on stairs, patches of unplastered walls, rooms without skirtings finished ect. I’ve also just got me and my wage coming in so have no savings, no money to spend on the house. I do what I can do myself- painting, stripping wallpaper ect is all stuff I can and have done. My dads feeling better now and is doing little bits here and there but not at the momentum he used to. He’s always working or going on holiday.
Feel a bit like I’m being ungrateful moaning because I love the house- was basically bought with inheritance from my grandparents who with my dads blessing bypassed him in the will so I could buy a home after decades renting. I just wish I could have it finished but no idea how to

Can you make a list of jobs by room and then do a room at a time? - maybe your bedroom first so you have somewhere to at least relax at night!
Or tackle the little jobs, especially if they are the cheaper jobs, go for the quick wins and save up for some of the bigger jobs

I would start by finishing one of the bedrooms and getting a lodger in it. When that starts to bring in money you can do other rooms, room by room.

Is the house in a fit state for you to get a lodger? You could spend the income from doing that getting someone in to do the jobs.

YouTube is your friend for some of those jobs, we learned how to do skirting and architraves ourselves, I'm sure you'd find ones to help with the door. Focus on getting one room nice, it will give you motivation to keep going

4 years is a long time, no wonder it’s getting you down. Do you have a garden? The better weather is coming, hopefully you can get out into the garden and relax. But getting one room fully completed at a time will give you a sense of achievement. You will get there.

It's grim isn't it? I found it takes a few years of slog then it suddenly feels like things are getting finished all at once. I'd suggest finishing something so you get the buzz but then unfortunately it really is just keep plodding on with it.

Do you have to stay there? Could you sell and buy a cozy smaller house?

One room at a time...loads of unfinished rooms is depressing.....make yourself lists....have weekends where you start on a Friday after work then don’t stop until Monday morning...then weekends where you just enjoy the finished rooms....we took 5 years to do up our 1870s semi....i just love it now....but if it hadn’t been for Covid and furlough and 3 lots 10 day Self isolating Each ...no way would we have finished in 5 years.., good luck

Me and DH are in our 2nd "live in" project and relatively skint due to mortgage and 3 kids. It is important to have a space that feels good so of finishing a room would do that then it should be your priority. Also have a tick-off list so you can feel progress.

We have 3 lists of jobs:

• cheap or can do with stuff we have lying around. We do these whenever we feel like/have time (see 3 kids and both work ft)
• jobs costing upwards of £150, need to save for materials/skilled trade. We have an agreed priority list and have assessed how these fit in with the cheap list so that stuff gets done in the right/sensible order.
• mega bucks jobs Eg replacing the roof which will need doing within 10years. Hoping we'll be able to put it on the mortgage by then.

We only pay for trades if we really need to.
We would learn how to do skirting and architrave. You'll probably want to buy a mitre saw - we'd cost this into a job. Once you have one you can use it for all sorts.

I was in a similar position a few years back - I bought my sibling out of a doer upper that our parent bought but died before it was started. Not going to lie, it was tough at first, but like others have said, I did one room at a time. I also worked out what could be lived with and prioritised jobs eg the carpets were fine but dated colours (pink or mint anyone?) so I had them cleaned. I used handymen for small joinery or plumbing tasks as they were sometimes cheaper. I started with downstairs first as those were the bits visitors would see, and I felt a lot better once those were done. I did classes on curtain and blind making and basic DIY. I painted every room and piece of woodwork in the house. It WILL be worth it - I just have to carpet upstairs and then mine is finally done.

I think it can be overwhelming when you look at it as a whole, and I'm not surprised it's getting you down.
Break it down to what needs doing in each room. See what else there is that you can do on your own. Use YouTube to help with jobs you may be able to do. See what else your dad can help you do.
Once you have a few jobs ticked off I think you will feel better about it, and you may feel confident enough to take on the other jobs that you thought you couldn't do.

Hey guys. Thanks for all your replies. I can’t get a lodger as there are no spare rooms unless I turn the lounge into a bedroom which I wouldn’t want to.
Currently I have been trying to do one room at a time but because there’s so long when certain things can’t get done I’ve thought to move onto other things I can do in that time of that makes sense.

Not sure if you own outright but could you take a mortgage, or remortgage and take some equity out?