F**k buying and carry on renting

[xXwhenwillitendXx]

I've had many previous threads on this topic.
Just for background we are buying the house we are currently renting.
I've just had enough, today I've got to te end of my tether, had a breakdown and refuse to get out of bed.
I'm sick of daily messages, I'm sick of needing to send my life story, I'm tired of daily phone calls aswell as holding down a job, looking after a toddler and trying to keep on top of day to day tasks.
We have had the morgage offer, but are awaiting a building survey as searches came back area is at risk of subsidence and flooding.
The solicitors get on to me daily, I need to sign this and send that but I don't have a clue what they are talking about and what the forms mean that I'm signing, I've lost track now of what I've done, signed, sent and what I've still got left to do.
I keep asking solicitor and mortgage brokers what happens to the offer if there is major structural damage and we want to pull out, but no one gives me a straight answer.
I'm not sleeping, eating and on the verge of tears constantly. I just need a break from it all.
I'm even having doubts on the house now, it need work doing such as new carpets, replastering and just working done to general wear and tear, but after we purchase we won't have the money to do these things.
I'm seriously considering just forgetting the whole idea as I feel I've bitten off more then I can chew, and carry on just renting.
Sorry of it doesn't make sense, I just really needed a rant.

Take it one step at a time each document you sign brings the end nearer. You can take out indemnity insurance if the mortgage provider requests it. You have lived with the decor and carpets for some time now so a bit longer is doable because it will be YOUR HOME. Just hang on in there and please think how lucky you are to become a homeowner how great that will make you feel. Upward and onward hope this has helped you OP

Do you mean a mortgage offer in principle? Did that not come out in the mortgage survey? Companies normally require that risk of flooding is ‘low’ or require insurance and a higher deposit if it’s not, and you have to get a broker to scoot around for a company who will do it. Flood risk maps are something you can Google for.

You need to know what you’re signing, so you must read each document carefully.

What happens to the mortgage offer if you pull out is nothing really - it just goes phut.

Sorry YOUR OWN HOME

Actually have the offer. I should be jumping around really excited, but I'm just so low and stressed.
The bank came weeks ago to do their survey, we are just paying for a level 3 for peace of mind, although this too is causing me high anxiety incase they find anything really wrong with the house.
We have been asked to sign mortgage dead and there is something about a reflection period, I have no idea what these are or even mean.
It's been like this the whole way through and it's really effecting my mental health now.
Is it always this stressful??

Being in a chain is far, far worse.

@SoosanCarter I really don't think I could cope with that

We’ve just moved house and it was extremely stressful.
Maybe post some of the specific questions you have, so others can advise.

I think you have to try to remain focused on the long term goal with house buying, because the actual process seems to be a massive ball ache for almost everyone I know.

Buying and selling can be stressful, l think most people (at least the first time) don't realise how much effort they have to go to to deal with the paperwork and all the possible issues.
Google every item you don't understand and if you still don't, email your solicitor with a list of queries and organise the email trail to refer back to.
It is helpful to keep notes and update every time you sign x or fill in y.
Really it is your solicitors job to explain and advise every step of the way, l cannot stress enough how important a helpful, available a capable solicitor is.
However when it comes to structural issues they cannot give definitive advice, only a reputable builder can do that.
It is worth it, get out of bed and crack on!

Right, well I have ignored all emails and texts today and turned my phone off just to give me some breathing space. Luckily toddler has very much enjoyed a duvet day with mummy.
I'm going to set alone some time tomorrow to properly concentrate on everything so sort it all out as best I can.
I'm glad it's not just me that has found the whole process stressful.

You’re doing fine with all the paperwork it seems, though it can all get a bit much from time to time I know. Just deal with things one step at a time. Also be prepared for the fact the survey WILL sound scary - they nearly always do! Speak to the surveyor afterwards and ask if there is anything in the report so bad you need to pull out or not snd hopefully they can reassure you.
A reflection period just means a period of time in which you can change your mind, even if you’ve signed a form. But you should carry on with what you’re doing, it will be worth it in the long run.

Oh the house buying process is dreadful but once you are out the other end it will hopefully be worth it.

Good luck!

There’s a reason they say it’s one of the 3 most stressful experiences in your life.

Do use this forum to ask questions and for support, there are lots of knowledgable people here.

You can do it! Keep going!

Oh yes and the survey will be like ‘the second row of bricks on the front elevation has a chip off the edge, this could lead to subsidence or water ingress’ … they don’t actually say ‘the risk of meteor strike or invasion by aliens is HIGH’ but they might as well do. If your mortgage lender is lending then it can’t be that bad.

@Twiglets1, the reflection periodd ends on the 1st which is the same date as the survey. So what happens if a want to drop out after the reflection period?

To make matters worse we also found a mouse yesterday, we have been here 4 years and never had a hint of a mouse, just feels like a sign that we shouldn't go ahead.

Just think - it’s only paperwork! At least you won’t have to physically do any moving!! Any work that needs doing can wait.

I am a solicitor, and I've been divorced, and I still found buying a house SO stressful. SO stressful

I agree in theory with those saying ask your solicitor but it's entirely possible said solicitor is actually a clueless paralegal, or working to a fixed fee and won't actually give this kind of hand holding, or will but at vast expense.

So, I would make sure you read all the available info from your mortgage lender about the process. If they've sent you a mortgage offer, there will be terms and conditions either sent with it, or accessible online which will include definitions of all the terms used. Start there. If you're using a broker ask them - it won't cost anything.

Amd yes you must make sure you read everything carefully until you're satisfied you understand it.

[quote xXwhenwillitendXx]@Twiglets1, the reflection periodd ends on the 1st which is the same date as the survey. So what happens if a want to drop out after the reflection period?[/quote]
Er... I’m not too sure about that tbh you may have to ask whoever sent the form to you. But I do know you can always pull out if the survey is genuinely too awful so don’t feel like you are trapped. Though it sounds like it is the right thing for you to buy this property, despite the current headaches and pesky mouse

A “reflection period” is something lenders have to do as part of an EU Directive, it’s for you and I don’t think it’s punitive on you. You can’t complete within 7 days of a mortgage offer so you have time to understand it before you have a huge mortgage you can’t get out of with large repayment fees. You can waive the period if you want to complete within 7 days.

www.skipton.co.uk/mortgages/mortgage-hub/jargon-buster

Good luck, it’s really stressful and it definitely feels like you need a qualification in house buying and conveyancing to do it! So much paperwork, for basic things like joint ownership types, declaration of who is living in your house and so on.

I recommend just googling anything and MSE and HOA are really useful websites.

www.moneysavingexpert.com/mortgages/buying-a-home-timeline/

hoa.org.uk/advice/guides-for-homeowners/i-am-buying/the-hoa-step-by-step-guide-to-buying-a-home/

Thanks for all your advice. Im on it today.
I've called the solicitors and asked her to explain everything to me. I then asked her to email me a to do list I can tick off.
I've started a mortgage folder and printed everything off for my own reference.
I think I just needed to get everything organised

Glad you’re feeling more positive today. I’m not an organised person normally but I get organised for this sort of thing as it helps make you feel a bit better amongst all the chaos!

That's exactly what I've done.
Some things are still confusing but trying to take it one step at a time.
I've also decided to be more assertive to both mortgage case manager and solicitor and not just let them palm me off.

Remember that if there is anything concerning in the survey you can use it as a bargaining tool to negotiate the cost of your property purchase down to allow for repairs.
With regards to the decor ....you have the rest of your life to sort it out. I personally wouldn't bother until I know whether any technical stuff (damp, plumbing, electrics ) need urgent attention.

Bear in mind you’re paying your solicitor per hour, and you have the option of writing your own to do lists.