Is this normal??

[xXwhenwillitendXx]

To feel so exhausted and overwhelmed with buying a house.
DH and I are FTB buying house from Landlord. If we don't take a chance and try to buy now we will never purchase a home. If it all falls through I'll have to take my toddler to move back in with my dad.
It just seems none stop. I'm picking up overtime at work to get a deposit together (every Saturday and sunday) and the other day I'm off work I'm looking after toddler DD, I'm trying to sort morgage and solicitors (very anxious about morgage as DH has bad credit and we only managed to get 5% deposit) and solicitor fees are a lot more then what I expected. I'm selling my car to also put towards deposit so have all the hassle of sorting this out to. We are literally scraping together every penny we have for the deposit. DH is not very good at this sort of thing and doesn't have a clue so its all left to me.
DH works full time, has DD on weekends while I'm doing over time and his car has been written off, so he is now having to sort that out too.
Along side this we are still trying to do day to day things such as washing, cleaning cooking and shopping.
I've tried to stay positive but today I've cracked. I've had enough, I'm physically and mentally broken and just want to give up and go to bed, but this is not an option.
Is all this normal or should I just save my sanity and give up on the idea as it seems like everything is stacked against us.

All of the things you've mentioned (deposit, solicitor's fees etc) are normal, yes. But your DH having bad credit and "not having a clue" is not normal - why does he get to opt out of adulting because he can't be arsed? No one has a clue how to buy a property til they actually do it - I had zero idea how it all worked and still managed to buy one as a single person on my own. It sounds like you're really stretching your budget as well –a 5% deposit might mean higher interest rates because you're borrowing so much, is there any chance of looking in a cheaper area? obviously that may not be feasible depending on where you live. Why can't your DH also do overtime? Will the overtime even count towards your earnings when applying for the mortgage if it's only a temporary thing? Have you got a mortgage advisor?

We are going through L&C through morgage. The house is cheap as is and we have the affordability, the rent we are paying now is also relatively cheap, I had a few grand in savings already and was planning on saving more in the next couple of years but the landlord decided last month he wanted to sell. If we moved into further renting it would cost any extra £200 pound a month so wouldn't be able to save any spare. My overtime is available whenever I want it, where as DH's isn't, mine also pays more and he has to look after DD as we have no available child care. He isn't clued up on this sort of thing where as more switched on and have a better understanding, his credit report is bad 4 - 6 years ago, he has improved significantly with my guidance since we have been together (I've had the conversation that he needs to learn how to adult and stand on his own two feet).

Buying is hard; I remember that last push to get the deposit & legal fees together for our first place.

A few things;

• do you have an AIP (agreement in principle) now?
• do you know exactly how much deposit you need?
• the deposit is paid when you exchange & the solicitors fees are paid at completion (although these could be on the same day), so you have some time. Could you borrow the legal fee money from family / friends if it came to it? You can't do this with the deposit but you could for the extras.

I'm assuming you've done the maths and can cover the shortfall in the next few months with the overtime?

You could also speak to your landlord about getting your deposit back (i.e. if you got your deposit back promptly at exchange, you could use this to pay towards the solicitors fees?).

We have decision in principle and our offer accepted. With the sale of the car, overtime and savings we just about have the deposit money. This will then leave us broke but I can make some money back up with more overtime. MIL will lend us some money, this will be for fees and a safety net, but I hate borrowing as this just means more to pay back each month.
When MIL puts money into our account will that go against us? As in thinking we have borrowed the deposit?

I'd probably ask her to hold off transferring the money until after you've sent your deposit just in case. You usually send that a couple of days before exchange so plenty of time to then do a quick bank transfer.

It is tough getting the funds etc together but it sounds like you've got everything in hand - and if I'm correctly remembering your previous thread, the mortgage would be similar to/slightly less than your rent, so you'll be no worse off each month?

We a five planned fixed rate it works out about £70 more expensive then renting, but £150 cheaper then renting somewhere else.
I think I've been running on adrenaline for the last few weeks and it's all just hit me today and left me feeling drained.

Hi OP, out of interest which lender are you taking the mortgage through if you don't mind me asking? My brother has a bad credit history and would only be able to put a 5% deposit down as well but we didn't know who he might be able to approach. Thanks.

Ah OP i feel your pain, we finally exchanged yesterday and it's been exhausting. We aren't in a chain so thought it would be quick but we put our offer in Mid-october and are completing next week. I mention this as realistically you'll probably have a couple of months from offer to completing at least to get the money for fees together. Your solicitor will need proof of funds so if some of it will be gifted they will need to do ID checks and see bank statements from the person gifting it. The lender will also want this along with confirmation that irs a gift not a loan. If you can manage without the gift I would as its another layer of admin.
Make sure you also budget for searches etc. While you don't pay the solicitors their fees until completion they will ask for the funds to cover searches quickly after you instruct them.
Good luck, it's stressful but will be worth it. Oh, your DH needs to get it very quickly. If you look for the Mortgage Momma on FB she has a fab step by step guide.

@parkrunner1977 we are using london and country, we have a DIP but haven't been approved for the morgage yet, so will let you know more when we know more.

@EnglishGirlApproximately that's so good to know. Its time that I need to get those additional funds.
I need to pay off the finance owing when selling my car, if MIL transfers the money and we use it to pay off the car, then keep all the equity from the car, would that then show as our money and not even be bought into the equation if you see what I mean??
When do I need proof that I have the deposit? Is it the solicitor who needs this or do I need it for the morgage application?

It sounds tough. Of course you are struggling but it will be worth it.

You are having to put in extra effort now but try to remember that should be balanced out against not having moving you currently rent the place. Packing is time consuming and expensive, better to invest that money directly into something you own (even if it is killing you to earn it).

You presumably also know the house so less nasty surprises like the front door doesn't shut, windows leak etc.

In the long run your hard work now will set up a better future but it doesn't make the now any less difficult and you are entitled to cry about it (and expect DH to pick up the slack elsewhere in your lives)

@Calmdown14 thankyou I think I've just needed that push today.
Both DH and I are stressed so snapping at each other which isn't helping. DD then is a nightmare as she's not being centre of attention

@xXwhenwillitendXx could you MIL pay the car finance directly? If she's transferring the money in to pay for that I would think they'd still class it as a gift.

We had to show proof of funds to the solicitors as part if them setting up our file, and to the lender as part of the full mortgage application. Our broker was amazing and made it easy as there us a LOT of admin in the early stages. Has your broker submitted your full application yet?
Your case is slightly different as you're buying from your LL but in our case the estate agent required proof of funds with the offer to prove we're in a position to proceed.
We also had to send another batch of bank statements and payslips to the lender last week as an extra check due to the time between offer and exchange.

No not submitted just yet, we will be going through the finer details Friday.
How about if I sold her something and she payed over the odds for it??
It's time that I need and time isn't on my side at the minute. I can get nearly 1K a month in overtime (working every Saturday and sunday) so have the provisions in place, just not the time.

I'm exhausted on your behalf!

Just another post to reassure you that it will be worth it in the long run.

We were "cash" buyers with no chain and it still took the best part of 3 months. I think at the moment searches etc are taking quite a long time due to backlogs in some areas. It might be worth asking your solicitor what they are experiencing in terms of local delays.

The feeling of security when you own your home will make it worth while.

I'd ask your mortgage broker on that tbh. Generally speaking though the 'cleaner' you can keep the transactions around the deposit the better, lenders aren't keen on anything complex particularly with a low deposit - they're looking to see that you can afford it. Have L&C done your AIP with a specific lender or is it a genetic online one? If its with a lender you can normally find their T&Cs and criteria online