So out of my depth… Budget nowhere near enough

[Downdumps]

I’ve name changed for this as my friends don’t know my dire financial straits.

I bought a doer upper (because we had to move and it was all I could afford). I knew I would have a very fixed budget for it, but as I’m starting to get quotes in I’m realising that it doesn’t even touch the sides.

Everything is twice what I expected (I’m not stupid and have renovated houses before, but not for a while). Wtf am I going to do? At this rate my budget is going to run out and I won’t have done half the stuff this house needs. As an example, I’d budgeted around £2k to get the kitchen fitted - first quote is £4k.

Earning more isn’t really an option and the stress of the renovation is already taking its toll. I’ve already borrowed £10k from family. I’m not talking expensive kitchens and marble flooring either, just getting the basics done.

How do people renovate on a budget in this day and age? I’m not skilled so doing things myself isn’t really an option.

I am starting to get really worried I’ve bought a wreck that I’ll never be able to do up. Any advice?

@Opal8

Ask on fb for local handy person. There are loads locally to me and they usually charge per hour and are reasonable.

I'm not sure why you only budgeted £2k for a fitted kitchen tbh. We re did our small kitchen 8 years ago with ikea and it was £6k then!!

Prices since brexshit have soared as you've sadly seen.

If I were you I'd look on ebay for the ikea varde free standing kitchen units (I was tempted by these tbh) and get a local handy person to collect/fit it.

I agree with pp that you need a list of essential jobs then "nice to have" things.

If the house is that bad, you may need to shut up rooms til you can do them.

Sorry its all so crap for you x

You paid £6k to have an IKEA kitchen fitted? Just fitting? The OP states the £2k was for fitting only which I feel is perfectly reasonable

@Downdumps

I wouldn’t have the skills or time to fit a kitchen well though. I’m also getting to the point where my mental health is suffering tbh. I’m on my own and have three kids. I just feel so overwhelmed.

Selling is out of the question.

It’s like tradesmen see me and think, ‘oh slap another £2k on the quote.’

If I wait another couple of years, won’t everything be more expensive again? I don’t earn enough to save so wouldn’t really be in a better position financially.

Kitchen quote doesn’t include the units.

I know that feeling. I do think they look at a woman on her own and add another thousand to the bill because for some men there seems to be an assumption that female clients are more difficult. (And I can think of a couple of women I know who have been very unreasonable with tradesmen and expected far more than was quoted for).

Do you have a brother or a male friend or even just a male neighbour who could be there when you have tradespeople round to give you an estimate? I think some tradesmen prefer to think there's a man of the house. It's shocking it should be like that, but so many women have said the same thing.

Don't ask on Facebook, ask around anyone you know. The guy I use is perfectly happy working for men or women and it easy to talk to and fine to work with. It's transparent what you are paying for. He's also really really busy.

Do keep looking around for quotes.
A local builder who came recommended to me quoted £5K for fitting my kitchen. The quote I got from IKEA was £2K, I thought it would be cheaper to find an independent company but that wasn’t the case.

@Downdumps

Thanks *@katienana*

I’m worried that by botching things now (sticky-backed plastic as a work surface was mentioned up-thread??!) I will be storing up trouble later on when it will cost even more to fix it. I am already worried about my future financially.

I can’t get finance on anything unfortunately due to low self-employed income. I’ve found some absolute bargains already though - this I am good at

It’s just the labour costs.

I can see you are overwhelmed but you're not getting bad advice here. Sticky-back plastic for the surfaces is fine, I know lots of people who've done it and it isn't a botch at all - it lasts well and looks better than what was there before. If it's a case of making the kitchen workable until you're in a position to take it out, then this is a good stopgap.

I'm doing up a house with a toddler (trying to do as much work ourselves too, including learning new skills, building kitchen from scratch etc) and I know it's almost impossible to find the hours in the day but please don't sneer at the advice people are trying to help you with. Strangers don't know that learning these skills yourself is not possible right now, and given that your issue is the cost of labour it does make sense for people to suggest you find ways to do the labour yourself.

As a general rule of thumb for this stuff, you either need time or money. Preferably both but one will do in the absence of the other. It sounds like you have neither right now so your options are limited.

we were in that position when we moved here in 2006. Had another child since then,

We ripped out all the manky stuff - carpets etc and painted floors... the hall way is till painted. We only had the carpet on the landing and stairs fitted in 2020 - prior to that it was painted. We still haven't done the windows. We have more or less saved the little we can to pay for a big job a year - I have followed cheap DIY groups on facebook for ideas and have made the best of things. Before we could afford the new kitchen I painted the cupboards that were there - got lots of different coloured spray pain in a pound shop and some blackboard paint. Each door was a different colour with a black board bit in the middle. Broken doors came off and replaced by tea towels I made into curtains. Plants on shelves etc and it looked OK - and better than it was. I would paint a wall or so wall a night after the kids were in bed. Didnt take more than half an hour or so - wrapped brushes in cling film. second coat the following day.

you need to build up confidence - start small - make things liveable, read blogs look at You-Tube and DIY facebook groups and you will get the confidence to try things you currently find too daunting.

Poundshops and Wilkos etc have some great things to start you off.Got loads of rugs from free cycle for flooring and didn't pay full price for a sofa for years - throws to cover the ugly ones and then replaced them when better ones came up... same with dining tables and chairs, beds etc. As we have been in the position we have replaced with things we have picked up along the way. keep an eye on sales and you can pick up some good stuff.

Get the teenagers to do their own rooms. Call in favours if you have friends with skills. I attenpted plastering and it was OK but didnt attempt it again and it went on the 'for the professionals' list we were saving for. I did learn plumbing though! Can't tile neatly enough but pretty handy with a drill. You will find your comfort zone.

and mostly don't expect to get it all done quickly - it will grow and keep moving with you. We're still not done - need flooring for ground floor, new windows, carpet in one bedroom but it has been a cosy happy home for years. As long as you can make it so you are happy and warm.

I am also living in the way you describe. With 2 dc, a doer upper that has horrible damp and although there is a DH on the scene, he is a selfish self obsessed and, has been in the past, an emotionally abusive arse so I have tuned out in terms of any emotional support, let alone any support with the house. He just stays away for long days pretending to be at work and comes back to sleep. Anyway this post is not about him/that.

I moved here thinking we would do the place up and make it a forever home but now I am heading towards get it done and get out. Any money I spend will be less I can walk away with. So I am doing as much as I can myself.

The kids hate the place so I spent time making their room (sadly shared room) a pleasant(ish) place so they have a carpet off freecycle and a wardrobe and plastic drawers from Aldi to pull out from unde their beds and store clothes in. I learnt how to wire plugs and have replastered the damp patch on their wall. It's not great but it's better than it was and I can always put some wallpaper over if we get closer to selling. I didn't spend ages learning how to do it, I just got on with it ans started with the bit under the skirting boards and behind the wardrobe that I had a practice in an inconspicuous place.

I have ripped out the stinking carpet from the bathroom and am going to paint the 1950s bare floorboards and put tongue and groove up the side of the bath in the same colour. On Pinterest it looks good. I will replace grout rather than tiles and paint walls.

I learnt how to take the radiator off the wall in the living room and re plastered the whole room. I was more practiced at it and it looks like a lazy plasterer did it. It took me 2 days. Next I need to put on new skirtings and that's so hard with the angles. Walls aren't perfectly straight but YouTube has shown me how to caulk big gaps so I'll do that too! Then I followed the instructions how to put radiator back.

I am working 3 days a week but do this over the weekend too. I feel like a bad mum as my kids are tweens and still want my company sometimes but I have to do this.

Kitchen Sink is plummed in thank goodness, and so is washing machine but there was no work surface- I have bought the cheapest one from B&Q and it rests on the top of the washing machine and the top of a kitchen unit I got off ebay. We have an oven but there is no thermostat so I keep having to open it to cool it down as it just gets hotter and hotter.

I have done loads more, including fixing guttering(!) but I wanted to tell you that it is doable and the strange thing is, I am starting to enjoy it as I am starting to see some progress and its so rewarding!!!

OP if you have repairs that really desperately need doing (like leaking roof) and are on certain benefits the local authority may lend you some money for repairs, that would not be repayable until the property is sold.

@Paiop Chuck him out and cultivate a nice builder!

OP, second hand is often brilliant, and when I first bought 30 years ago, it took years to get the house how we wanted it. A coat of white paint everywhere for now, and bit by bit ....

LadyCarlotta's post resonated with what I was thinking. I'm sorry you're in this position OP, but in the kindest of ways your OP literally asks how are people renovating on a budget in this day and age... Which is why you're getting a load of replies saying by learning to do a lot yourself. Because if you don't have the money to pay someone else to do it then really the options are learn to do it yourself or live with it as is!

My husband works during the week and although I'm on mat leave I very rarely get any time to do anything if our DD decides to nap. The reality is that we're doing things in the evenings when we'd much rather be doing something else. If I were a single parent then admittedly I wouldn't feel confident tackling the electrical stuff that my DH is learning to do, so I'd prioritise that. I think a lot of suggestions here are sensible about prioritising and DIY. It really is the only way in your position I think given that you've said selling is not an option at all.

I wonder if part of it is also about adjusting expectations time-wise? As I said in my first post we originally thought we'd move in and be able to get the bulk of the work done quickly before being floored by how expensive getting anything done currently is. Before moving in we'd hoped to remortgage quite quickly to fund a small extension (quotes for that came in literally double what the architect thought it would be so we've had to shelve that idea for 3 years leaving us with a very small kitchen that we weren't planning on having for long). I've openly really struggled at times with adjusting to having to live in a house that looks a mix of very dated and building site for a long time with two young children. It's literally going to take us years to do it all without the tradespeople input we thought we'd have. I feel embarrassed at the idea of inviting people over as my friends have quite nice modernly decorated houses but I'm starting to accept it's just going to take time. Do you think part of your struggle with it is this adjustment to having to do it slowly bit by bit?

@mummabubs

I have had some great advice here on how to source labour more cheaply actually, for which I’m really grateful.

I’m going to try different handymen for example, rather than specialist tradesmen. Someone also suggested trying the council to see if I’m eligible for a loan (I have actually already tried that and it doesn’t make financial sense). I have checked out grants too, and I may be eligible for help with new external doors (not any time soon unfortunately, but it’s something.)

People also suggested how I could prioritise things which was really helpful.

The suggestions that are less helpful are the ones that say I should ‘just’ learn plastering or electrics or ‘just’ fit the kitchen myself, like they did. Of course I can strip wallpaper, paint, put up shelving (I can even do basic plumbing), but doing big, skilled jobs like plastering, fitting windows, replacing radiators or fitting a kitchen or bathroom is clearly unrealistic if you read about my situation.
These are the expensive jobs, labour-wise, so I am asking how I can reduce the cost.

I’m also really appreciative of those who say they understand the stress this is causing - thank you, it means a lot to know I’m not being pathetic!

Ask around friendship groups for recommendations, parent WhatsApp around my way are always asking about recommendations for trades. We have some decent pare ts who are plumbers, gardeners etc and are honest.

Kitchen fitter sounds like he is charging too much.

Do rewriting first, get quotes from election but so British Gas. Then plasterer. Will feel like a step backwards but don’t get kitchen or decorate if wiring needs doing

OP I've been there. It was a nightmare and totally took the joy out of owning what I consider to be my forever home I agree with you that some suggestions here are not very realistic. what helped was taking a step back and looking at the positives. I loved the area and was delighted I finally had a home in the area I wanted to be in and DC wouldn't be moving again. I still lived in a shithole but at least I wasn't at the mercy of landlords and rent increases (which was a big issue around here at that time) so I tried to look at the positive rather than the negative. Obviously none of this helped with the house situation but helped a bit with my headspace. It WILL get done just not in the timeframe you imagined. Honestly it will be fine

Also Anglian windows quoted £8k once for windows, pleaded poverty, whilst sat in our awful state mid project house and said no way we could afford that but he could finish his coffee. He left an hour later with an order for the windows £3.5k

Have you looked at a wicked kitchen? With fitting probs less than your guys fitting only quote.

Wikes kitchen that should say

I agree with you that bodging things now will end up costing you later, so I wouldn’t. Unless you can bodge it in a way that will last 5 years or so

I’m paying £9k labour for my kitchen but that is a full reno, incl. electrics, plaster, floor and wall tiling, and tidying up previously bodged plumbing. Around £2.5k of that is removing and fitting the the new units and appliances. It’s a flat pack kitchen too so more labour there.

The entire job is going to take 2 weeks, so if you are just after fitting I think the person who quoted you is a chancer or not very experienced!

Pp have asked, and I’m sorry if I have missed the response but can you live with the kitchen for a while? It might make sense to put the money towards sorting the other rooms out first, so you’ve sorted out a bigger part of the house?

Like you, I bought a doer-upper on a low income. I did the other rooms first because the money stretched further that way, and it meant a bigger portion of the house was liveable and nicer to look at, waited a few years until the value went up so I could borrow against it to put towards the major jobs like bathroom and kitchen.

Thank you. The kitchen units are already ordered, so I have to go ahead now. I will just have to get many more quotes until I find someone I think.

@minniep Thank you, I feel like you get it. I had this word with myself yesterday actually. For reasons I won’t go into we absolutely had to move, and I had thought we would have to move out the area (which we love) but I was able to buy this house and stay here. So I’m treating that as a massive positive.

It’s easy to feel like my kids are unhappy (mainly because I’m so stressed) and there isn’t any joy in our lives any more because of this effing house, but I am trying to adopt a ‘we can do this’ attitude!

It’s just a very lonely place to be as a single parent.

That isn't pathetic, OP!

I bought an absolute wreck on a housing estate as a single parent years ago. I needed to stay on the property ladder, and for some reason, this place struck me. I am seriously pathetic, and was so broke. I sourced a kitchen for £700, which was ex showroom, and a friend of a friend fitted it for me after he finished work with me working as his builders mate late at night for £250. I did lots of other bits over a number of years, paid where I absolutely had to, fudged a bit and made do. I bought a huge discount rug, and hid the horrid bits of floor. Painted and papered anywhere that was reasonable to have a couple of decent rooms. It was awful. Trying to work, look after DD, do a bit of freelance for a few extra quid. The toilet and bathroom were a hazard and I had to pay. Same with some ventilation issues round the boiler.

However. I sold that house 4 years later and made £100k on it. It still had no kitchen floor, a crappy old boiler and various other issues, but it was so worth it. I did remarry but it was my equity which bought our 30's semi, it's that house that has enabled me to SAHP with our babies and project manage a big renovation here, and I'm still applying the same penny pinching!

You CAN do it. You've left what I'm assuming was a shit situation, your kids are old enough to understand and help where they can, and Rome wasn't built in a day. One step at a time, safety first, it will be ok. Also. It's ok to feel hopeless and pissed off. It's a crap situation and a valid feeling. Long as you remember it achieves bog all, so wallow a bit and then get in with it again!

@Downdumps we did the same and bought the worst house in the best area. Ours was an ex rental with an absolutely horrible owner who had done nothing to it. So we are the first owner occupiers as it had been rented since it was built in 1983 and totally untouched. We did some silly things at the start like DH tried to lay laminate flooring that was a disaster as our floors were uneven so I wished I'd put down cheap wood effect Lino or something to see us through. Back then the situation looked hopeless and I was thinking it would never look nice but honest to god you will get there. I even had a big first holy communion party back in October with lots of extended family and I never thought I'd be able to want people inside my door. Best of luck with it all.

If you have a decent credit rating, you could buy your kitchen and bathroom at IKEA at 0% APR to pay back monthly over a few years. We did that to reduce our immediate costs when we did our house up.

Ps I'm sorry, I've just seen what you said about income so scrap my previous possibly irrelevant advice.
We lived in our house as it was for six months. We stripped back horrible carpets and had bare floorboards (not nice ones, but less gross than the carpet) and also stripped back wallpaper, exposing very unhappy looking plasterboard. If we'd had to live in the house for longer before being able to have new plasterboard or new skimming in some areas, I think it would have been worth painting over the old wallpaper and floorboards as a temporary improvement.
It's hard to know what is the worst thing in your house (ours was falling to bits all over), and I get that advice to paint is annoying if the bathroom and kitchen desperately need replacing, but if you can get those done and then need to save before you can do next thing, eg flooring, new plaster for walls, windows repaired, if you can afford a few cans of paint in the meantime it could cheer up the bedrooms and living room and make it more pleasant for a year or so.

Keep shopping around for tradesmen.
I’m doing a full house renovation just now, amd have been auditioning bathroom fitters …1st guy -now bear in mind this is FITTING ONLY £6500, 2nd guy £3300!
I still have another couple of proves to come in, but whoever I use it won’t be the first one!