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Original poster

Will we be homeless because of DH

35 replies

xXwhenwillitendXx · 02/02/2022 14:45

So I've had (numerous) previous threads about LL selling our rented property.
We may of been just about able to raise the money for a deposit to buy this.
So I happily go off to a morgage advisor to see what can be done. We have affordability for hopefully the value if the property, but haven't taken this further yet (thank god)
So I check my credit report and all is good, DH checks credit report and refuses to show me. In the end he caved and told me he had some missed payments therefore morgage out the window.
He said this was not correct and he would call Vodafone to get this rectified. Okay we will see what happens. Them I find he has a 5k loan I asked him what that was about and he said it was from years ago. It blatantly said it was from late last year, he still tried to deny it. Turns out he had built up on his credit cards, the interest was getting out if hand and he took a bank loan to pay them off.
By this stage I'm fuming at the lying and keeping things from me.
Today it has come to light that in 2018 he had missed 6 months worth of payments, he insisted this was his sisters fault as she took a loan out in his name WTAF it's not anyone's fault but his.
He then admits it's his fault as he consolidated his debts in the past, however apparently this is okay because it was before me.... but the missed payments where when he was with me!!!! For 6 bloody months!!!!
He has now spoken to me and said it's fully paid and closed, but it's come up as a missed payment as he changed address Hmm.
I don't know what to believe any more.

Well that's any chance of a morgage out the window. There is no rental properties in our budget anywhere in the area and no family we can stay with.

We are f**ked!!!

OP posts:
AwkwardPaws27 · 02/02/2022 14:51

Have you spoken to a broker and confirmed there are no lenders at all you could apply to?
Has your DH looked at Money Saving Expert for advice on improving his credit rating? If it truly is now all paid off, there may be some way to improve it?

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 02/02/2022 14:52

Buy somewhere on your own.

AwkwardPaws27 · 02/02/2022 14:53

Also, contact Shelter for housing advice. It's very important that you don't just move out when given notice as the council will say you are "voluntarily homeless" (ridiculous, I know!) & refuse to help.

gamerchick · 02/02/2022 14:54

Can you not just go it alone?

Original poster
xXwhenwillitendXx · 02/02/2022 14:54

Apparently it was paid of in full in 2018 but missed payments will show for 6 years. Some credit scores say low some say good, but it's the report that doesn't look good.
If I'm honest I'm to embarrassed to go back to the morgage advisor not knowing all this in the first place.
He thinks he will be fine because the bank gave him a loan. There's a difference for being accepted for 5k of lending to over 200k

OP posts:
Original poster
xXwhenwillitendXx · 02/02/2022 14:56

Can't do it alone, I did check but I won't get the affordability by myself.
I'm on the verge of leaving him to be honest I'm that angry, it's only having a toddler DD that's stopped me from walking out as it it.

OP posts:
RagzRebooted · 02/02/2022 14:57

@gamerchick

Can you not just go it alone?
Affordability on half their income is not going to get much mortgage, unless OP earns £50k+
Snorkello · 02/02/2022 14:58

Have you actually applied for a mortgage yet? Some providers may be flexible and you can have an honest and open discussion about your options. You can also work with creditors to manage debt and your credit score, but he needs to be honest with you. If he’s not, consider buying without him if you can’t trust him. It will all work out, so try not to panic. Sending hugs as this must be very stressful x

Spottydotdotty · 02/02/2022 14:59

I would recommend speaking to smaller banks/building societies. We were rejected for our first mortgage due to a mobile phone contract that hadn't been paid (their fault, got resolved in the end). The bigger lenders just dump your info into a computer and it will come up with "no". We went to a small regional building society where decisions are made by actual people and they were surprised I thought that would even be a problem.

NorthSouthcatlady · 02/02/2022 15:00

To be honest l would leave him. I’m not tolerant of lying, stupidity and poor management of money -all of which he appears have done a lot of. If you continue with him then l would be wanting him to pay extra rent (he’s the one who has made you go down the rental route after all) and his figuring out a plan to of how you are going to get onto the property ladder

YellowLemonz · 02/02/2022 15:01

I don't think your out just yet.
Was the broker independent or part of a bank?

AwkwardPaws27 · 02/02/2022 15:03

If I'm honest I'm to embarrassed to go back to the morgage advisor not knowing all this in the first place

Don't be embarrassed! You aren't the first and definitely won't be the last client they have who has either not known about something, hasn't realised it would stay on file that long or found a discrepancy that needs fixing.

I can think if at least three friends/relatives this has happened with, two of them went on to buy and one is working on improving their rating.

The best thing to do is take the bull by the horns & ask the broker. They are the experts - they'll be able to tell you if it's still possible or not.

Original poster
xXwhenwillitendXx · 02/02/2022 15:04

@Snorkello thankyou. If I'm honest I'm too embarrassed to even try now and have that massive fear if been rejected. My credit is impeccable and I've worked so hard to make it that way

@Spottydotdotty that gives me some hope

@NorthSouthcatlady, I'm really considering it but need to calm down first. We have a joint account so everything goes in and out if there (well I thought it did) I think at the least he would need to close any personal account and give me free access and control to all finances.

OP posts:
alexdgr8 · 02/02/2022 15:06

this guy is irresponsible, not just financially, he has not been straight with you.
chuck him now.
he will only drag you down.
move on up. better days ahead.
good luck.

Original poster
xXwhenwillitendXx · 02/02/2022 15:07

I think it doesn't help either that we only have a 5% deposit and I've literally had to work my ass off even to get that.

OP posts:
Heronwatcher · 02/02/2022 15:10

I think realistically you need to try to think about how you can be financially independent. You say there is nowhere you can rent but there must be somewhere. Have you looked out of your immediate area both to buy or rent? Or considered somewhere not brilliant but manageable (like a 1 bed place). Are you working? If you’re not then I would be considering how you can get back to work, if you are are there ways you can retrain or upskill to earn more? In reality this may be fate doing you a favour- no way would I be taking out a joint mortgage with someone who is both financially irresponsible and who lies to me. If you do chances are you’ll end up with a credit rating as bad as his. I know it’s hard but you need to try to find a way out of this on your own.

Hoppinggreen · 02/02/2022 15:10

There might be even more hes not telling you, what he has admitted might be the tip of the ice berg

Original poster
xXwhenwillitendXx · 02/02/2022 15:15

I am working but part time hours and only earn just over 20k. I have option of FT but then have to increase childcare costs. I wouldn't know where to start going it alone. Before meeting DH I was always financially independent with a career straight from uni.

OP posts:
barbrahunter · 02/02/2022 15:43

@Hoppinggreen

There might be even more hes not telling you, what he has admitted might be the tip of the ice berg
I'm sorry OP I agree with this.
Heronwatcher · 02/02/2022 16:12

Your partner would have to be responsible for some of the childcare though, even if you split up. Since this is his problem what is he doing to help? Can he work flexibly to do some of the childcare for 1 day a week so you can increase your hours? Could you do some of the extra hours for your existing job at the weekend, or take a different job at the weekend to increase your earnings, even short term (so you can apply for a higher mortgage) with your partner taking your DD. I know it sounds brutal but my friend (NHS very well qualified) did shifts on the till at Waitrose over the weekend and her partner (a solicitor) stacked shelves in the evenings. I’m not saying this is easy but as you’ve found if you want to buy or rent a decent place and you can’t rely on your partner, you need to increase your earnings beyond 20k. It’s not easy but there’s no magic to it!

Original poster
xXwhenwillitendXx · 02/02/2022 16:17

I'm already picking up at weekends at my current employment, It's double pay currently so taking advantage of this to docas many hours as i can to get as much money as I can In a short period of time. I was also looking into selling my car and have a few quotes I need to look into more (not sure about that now)

OP posts:
JugglingJanuary · 02/02/2022 16:28

I'm sorry you're unexpectedly in this position due to your feckless H.

You might not want to hear this, but I think b you would be better off without him. The financial stuff is bad enough, but the lying I'd find unforgivable. He's going to ruin you financially & you don't want to spend your life working hard to constantly find he's lying & being irresponsible. Although the borrowing is in the past & he did pay it off, he's lied to you about it all & I wouldn't put up with it. He could lose you your home if you do get a mortgage with him and you'd be in an even worse situation than you are in now.

Don't be too embarrassed to go back to the mortgage Broker, it's nothing they haven't seen before & they've seen plenty worse. Go & talk to them and see what you can borrow on your own & see how much more you'd need to earn to buy 'something that would be ideal for you & DD'. Try looking in 'entitled to' and see what you would be entitled too & ask the MB how this would impact on you.

Good luck

caringcarer · 02/02/2022 16:58

OP you have nothing to be embarrassed about your credit score is excellent. Go back to your broker and ask advise on what you can do to go it alone. Could you do a 35 year mortgage instead of 25 years? I would be very worried about linking my finances to a person like your DP who has a bad credit rating.

Bellyups · 02/02/2022 17:09

He’s a financial liability, and has totally disregarded that his actions impact you. I would think twice about taken out a huge loan with this man.
To be honest I don’t know if I could stay married to someone like this. He will likely drag you all down

AlDanvers · 02/02/2022 17:18

Honestly I really would be rethinking the whole relationship. Exh used to pull things like this.

When I divorced and was getting my own mortgage it came up that there was 2 missed mortgage payments on the last 2 years. The payment came out of dhs account.

I still got a mortgage at a good rate. The mortgage broker was brilliant and got it sorted.

If you choose to stay with him and buy the house, I think yiu need a broker. But I really would be considering wether to take out such a large debt.

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