How does it work when you're selling because of divorce?

[Cuddlywaterfall]

House just gone on the market. We will both be buying another place, relatively close by.
What slightly totally baffles me is the logistics of the actual move!
So assuming that we agree to sell at whatever price, we have both found properties we like and can afford, offers accepted all round, dates agreed - how does it work on moving day? I stand there with my removal guys saying ok take that sofa but leave that chair and H does the same?
And how on earth is it going to be possible to get the chain to work so that our buyer and our respective sellers are all on the same schedule?
My brain hurts. Anyone been through this who can advise??

You are going to be in 2 property chains, so I'm not sure whether it will be feasible to line up the dates. I expect that one of you might need to move out and stay somewhere temporary, until they can move in to their new place. Ultimately, the person who buys your house will most likely set the moving date. My ExH bought me out, so I just left all the furniture there and we added £2k in to my pot for recompense to that. Hopefully you will line up your new homes for the same date, that would be great. Regards all the stuff, you'll have to agree who gets what. Good luck!

Soon as you have exchanged contracts move your stuff into storage and go on a really nice holiday that’s my advice.

By the time you get back your place should’ve completed and go and pick the keys up and move everything in on the weekend.

@Jessie75 that's actually not a bad idea! Although I have 2 kids in tow plus I'm totally skint. Maybe a visit to friends will have to do!

I am currently going through the planning of this.

We have had a few removal companies come and quote and they are completely unphased by it. They advise that we do our own packing in advance (they will drop off boxes beforehand) as we will be splitting stuff.

We mark it up as to what is going where. As one of us will complete before the other some stuff will go into storage. Once the second completion is done the stuff in storage will be delivered to that property.

It seems like they are very used to it. They just want to know what is going where.

Thanks @goodnotbad That's helpful. I'll scope out the storage facility that's nearest to us and get started on the packing as soon as I can.

The removal companies have their own storage facilities if you want to use them. We will be doing that.

When my exH and I split up, he moved into a rented flat and I moved into a 4 bed house with the children. His lease started a week before completion so it was just a matter of gradually moving 'his' stuff out leaving the rest to be shifted by removal men into storage as we couldn't get the completion dates to match due to my seller's (also going through a divorce) now ExH not signing documents in a timely manner.

Storage via removal firm is obviously more expensive but moving AND divorce together are horrendously stressful and I felt it was worth every penny. They were so efficient and practical and excellent at Tetris packing! Really couldn't have crammed any more into each unit. Plus you know that the facility is properly protected and insured and then its so much easier when they bring the stuff to your new home.

Just one word of warning, I was totally gobsmacked at how emotional I felt once the keys were through the letterbox. It wasn't the end of the marriage I was crying for as that had died long before, but the loss of the expected future in that home, the hopes and dreams that we had for the house and our family life. Once the stress of moving out was done, I was hit by a tidal wave of emotion. Thankfully my children were teens so I had time to compose myself before they saw me but it was really hard and totally unexpected.

Thank you @blobby10 that is very helpful. I am dreading leaving my beautiful house. Both kids came home here after they were born, first words, first steps, so many memories. I was sure I would grow old here.
Ugh. I hate being a grown up.

Good luck OP.

I had similar but with added complication that the house I'm buying won't be ready for months. So I have moved me and DC into a rental for 6 months. Unfortunately the dates haven't aligned so I've had rent and mortgage to pay for a couple of months. Thank god for my parents lending me some money.

I agree about the old house. H is still there and its very bare, sometimes I need to go back round and its horrible. I just miss what should have been, I thought I was marrying a decent guy and building a happy family. Still, onwards and upwards x

*@Cuddlywaterfall * its definitely horrible being a grown up! The worst bit for me has been the loss of someone to share responsibility with - even though Ex was like a fourth child he was actually an adult to bounce ideas off even if I ended up doing everything. After 6 years I find myself missing the security that being married gave - I don't miss being married itself and definitely don't miss my Ex but sometimes the pressure of being the sole breadwinner, bill payer, decision maker, what to make for tea-er etc etc gets too much. Then I crash, spend a couple of days crying in private, give myself a shake, pity Ex's new wife and get my head back on straight .

@blobby10 that's interesting. At the moment I feel like I do everything but it will be interesting to see what I do miss. At the mo STBExH is saying he will have the kids 50% of the time. Well we will see how long that lasts but if it does then there could be quite a lot of time when I'm on my tod which may be ace or may be lonely!

I know a lot of people find it quite emotional leave in the house but I have to be honest I had the complete opposite reaction which I really didn’t expect because I loved every inch of my home however it wasn’t my home any more and I actually went back to pick some extra stuff up with the new people were in there and they painted it and cleaned it properly I was shocked at how unbothered I was by it if that makes sense

You leave the bricks and mortar behind but you take the memories of those moments with you.
(I hated leaving our first home too)

I’ve just bought from a divorcing couple, she had already moved out and he was in the house.
He was such a dick and made the sale very unnecessarily difficult, I think a lot of it was to make life difficult for his x wife.
We were caught in the middle, we were buying from abroad (we are returning to the UK) and I can 100% say if I’d been in the UK we would have pulled out and found another house.
Anyway it took 8 months, we were the only people in the chain as they weren’t buying, we got the keys just before Christmas.
The dick bloke moved out 4 days before completion, forgot to leave the keys, didn’t even lock the front door, left windows open food in the fridge, dishes in the sink, and lots of random things left behind and of course didn’t clean anything.
I spent the whole time thinking I bet his x wife can’t wait to get her money and move on in life with him!
But it’s also very sad they had 2 young children and obviously lots of hopes and dreams invested as they had lived there for 9 years but you can see that they let the house fall into disrepair, it’s almost like a reflection of their relationship breakdown, it’s quite sad.
We are in a very different part of our life, our children are young adults, so we will breath a very different energy into the house and hopefully fix the broken bits.
I hope your sale goes well and it isn’t too difficult or emotional.

[quote blobby10]**@Cuddlywaterfall its definitely horrible being a grown up! The worst bit for me has been the loss of someone to share responsibility with - even though Ex was like a fourth child he was actually an adult to bounce ideas off even if I ended up doing everything. After 6 years I find myself missing the security that being married gave - I don't miss being married itself and definitely don't miss my Ex but sometimes the pressure of being the sole breadwinner, bill payer, decision maker, what to make for tea-er etc etc gets too much. Then I crash, spend a couple of days crying in private, give myself a shake, pity Ex's new wife and get my head back on straight .[/quote]
Oh god, this is so relatable at the moment! My ex is in rental already so it'll just be my onward purchase for now. I'm thinking of a move out of the city which will come with its own set of issues but the pressure to make tree decisions on my own I'm really struggling with. My ex was definitely a passenger too, but just having someone at your side to bounce ideas off and support decision making...

Plus we're all a bit burned out from the pandemic stress.

I just keep thinking, this time next year, I hope to be at least settled in a new house, that's mine, and whilst I might be struggling with other things little settling into a new community etc and loneliness (which I feel now anyway, surrounded by everyone) at least I'll have stepped away from this hamster wheel of an existence that I feel I'm living right now.

And I'll have a nicer view and access to the county side on my doorstep.

Also my ex is barely lifting a finger to get the house ready. All on me but he gets half of the equity.