Feel so Awful about my house

[ChristmasBerriesBez]

Hello Mumsnetters, I'm hoping someone is out there....awake and on here early.
I'm reaching out really - I feel so awful about this thing. We bought a house which i had fallen in love with and my logic was clouded so we offered way, way too much.

Now it's come that I feel sick every time I think of the house. I feel sick as I know that it will never sell at anything close to what we paid. Although we got it under asking, it's asking was ridiculously inflated and I'm talking we paid I think maybe £60,000 more than it's worth.
A lot of what we paid was out savings. so literally money no longer in the bank.

There have been comments about what we paid from people who live nearby and I could just melt into the ground.

It has very little resale potential - it's layout is majorly unusual and those who have looked at it's floor plan hate it and say they wouldn't consider it.
It had been listed for over a year, it had just had an offer fall through, and I know they were desperate to sell. North facing garden too!

I got it for 6 percent less than asking price, but now i've done my research (too late!) I can see that it's worth about 10-15 percent less.
Other houses in the area measure up much better.

I've gone from loving it to having bad dreams about it, I feel sick in my stomach all the time and I don't know how to live there without thinking every day '£60K wasted that I'll never see again'
We really need that money. It was top end of budget.

I don't want to decorate or work on it because it only makes me panic that it's more money wasted on it that I'll never see again.
I feel breathless when I think that this is it now...we're stuck in this house with no option to sell in future as it will only lose value as time goes on.
Dont know why I'm posting this really, I think to vent, or to reach out, or to ask how others might handle this. Thanks MNs
xoxoxo

It’s normal to get the jitters/cold feet after spending so much money though. I say give it time. You loved it for a reason.

I still sometimes wake up early with my head spinning over some big house improvement we have planned. They’re only moments.

Our last house cost double what everyone else on the street had paid. But they bought before prices went nuts in the early 2000s. This made me v resentful for a while, especially as many were paying tiny mortgages. We also made very little when we moved, as prices haven't gone up that much in our area. But our next move will be when one of us dies, so back to a smaller house.

‘The feeling’ is the one thing in house buying that is either there or it’s not. Sounds like you had this.
There’s never a perfect time to buy. It’s always something of a gamble. You could have missed out on this, waited months and been priced out of anything that size or in your preferred area.
And are you sure you are comparing properly like for like and sold at the same time, not a year ago when things were very different?

Out of interest are you savy with money in other parts of your life? I often feel like this. Other people will say ‘I got a great deal on a car’ and then I’ll worry I paid too much even though I didn’t. I’m just not vocal about such things and have this worry over pretty much every big purchase I’ve ever made.

I’m struggling to believe such an over priced house would have had other acceptable offers on it. Unless it’s very expensive and 60k is only a small percentage of the asking price. Perhaps you’ve paid a bit over but that seems too much for it not to have flagged anywhere

OP I feel so sad that you feel upset about your house like this! Is it too late to pull out?

What I liked about the house - it has a large open plan kitchen and living space, wide hallways that feel like rooms in themselves, a nice feel about it. It’s hard to put my finger on really but everyone else seems to think it’s awkward.

What everyone else thinks about the layout really isn't important. They don't live there. The person who like the nice feel of it and lives there likes it.

Do you need that smallest room as a bedroom? Nothing wrong with children sharing one id the larger bedrooms. Could it be a study or walk-in wardrobe?

First, ignore the neighbours. It isn't their house, they've probably lived in the area for many years during which property prices have risen substantially, and it's none of their business what you paid. Go on Zoopla Sold Prices and check out other properties nearby - it'll show how long ago the neighbours bought their homes. That'll prove why they make you (albeit unintentionally) feel bad about your purchase price.

It would probably be worth getting some plans drawn up (I used Keyplan 3D and a tape measure, just remember to check wall thicknesses and don't stress about being millimetre accurate), get a project folder and have a section for each room. That will help calculate for paint, etc, too.

Once you have your plans, get onto Houzz (an architecture and interior design app, but make sure it's the UK one), upload the images onto the member forum and ask what others would do with it, while on an exceedingly tight budget. People on there are lovely and often come up with things you would never have thought of.

You can get some fantastic furniture and garden stuff on Facebook Marketplace and the like, for free or very little outlay, and hone your DIY skills.

Quirky is good, as long as it's not massively way out like a bat cave or a pebble encrusted bathroom suite, neutral decor with accent pieces and good lighting will work well. A rug under a coffee table, for instance, will lift a room and make it feel more expensive, even if it isn't.

Don't stress about the money. It's an investment so any return would come through after a minimum couple of years and a bit of a do-up. Look again in 5 years at prices and I'm certain you'll be happy with what you've done.

You're welcome to private message me if you think I can help, but I think the above will be a good start. I'm an amateur, keen DIYer and took on a full renovation when I probably shouldn't have, but got what will be an amazing place when it's done. If all else fails, I can always offer it up for film & tv work. As for the tiny bedroom...would it make an en suite or a utility room?

Spending so much money is always scary. It's natural to get a bit of cold feet.

On people shocked by how much you're paying, they probably just aren't in touch with the market. A neighbour of mine put their house up for sale and I thought the asking price was a bit steep but it sold for the asking, the market has dramatically increased recently.

Relax about the money and just concentrate on making the house feel your own, you can always reassess later.

Have you posted about this before? I think you need to talk to someone about your anxiety levels.

There is no way you didn't think about your offer and gauge the market. All house prices are overinflated right now.

Buying a house is such a tediously slow and painstaking process. If you really had paid way over and it was unsellable, the bank would never have loaned you money and you wouldn't have gone ahead.

You have lost perspective. Everything is ok.

You’re comparing your current situation to an imaginary alternate reality where you have the £60k and everything is perfect.

Whenever I spiral like this (and it has happened a few times in my life) I do a mind exercise where I just believe that any other choice apart from the choice I made, ended up with me being hit by a bus.

So, in your case - maybe you regret the overpayment (and you may not have even overpaid FYI). But just think - every other alternative option, you and your DP got hit by a bus. So you turned down this house and made an offer on another one, hit by a bus on the way to collect the keys. You offered less for the house, hit by a bus on the way to the corner shop first day there because you weren’t posting on mumsnet about how much you regret the purchase.

You really have no idea what would have happened had you not made this decision.

Maybe this decision was the only path to take that stopped you being it by the metaphorical bus. Butterfly effect and all that.

So instead of thinking, I’ve lost 60k! You can think, thank god I got this house and saved us from that bus.

It seems outlandish but is it really less likely than you not buying the house and everything else being rperfect? Not really.

So if it helps you reduce regret then it’s worth doing!

it has a large open plan kitchen and living space, wide hallways that feel like rooms in themselves

Personally I would love that.

@ArblemarzipanTFruitcake

it has a large open plan kitchen and living space, wide hallways that feel like rooms in themselves

Personally I would love that.

I agree, that's a bonus surely?

I live in an open plan home, no hallway just a porch and a large l shape space with conservatory. I find it so very sociable and really like living here

In the nicest possible way op, you have lost perspective. Ultimately, a house is worth what someone will pay for it! And if you have paid slightly over the odds, but you love it and live there for a good while, then no harm is done

@BlissfullyIgnorant

First, ignore the neighbours. It isn't their house, they've probably lived in the area for many years during which property prices have risen substantially, and it's none of their business what you paid. Go on Zoopla Sold Prices and check out other properties nearby - it'll show how long ago the neighbours bought their homes. That'll prove why they make you (albeit unintentionally) feel bad about your purchase price.

It would probably be worth getting some plans drawn up (I used Keyplan 3D and a tape measure, just remember to check wall thicknesses and don't stress about being millimetre accurate), get a project folder and have a section for each room. That will help calculate for paint, etc, too.

Once you have your plans, get onto Houzz (an architecture and interior design app, but make sure it's the UK one), upload the images onto the member forum and ask what others would do with it, while on an exceedingly tight budget. People on there are lovely and often come up with things you would never have thought of.

You can get some fantastic furniture and garden stuff on Facebook Marketplace and the like, for free or very little outlay, and hone your DIY skills.

Quirky is good, as long as it's not massively way out like a bat cave or a pebble encrusted bathroom suite, neutral decor with accent pieces and good lighting will work well. A rug under a coffee table, for instance, will lift a room and make it feel more expensive, even if it isn't.

Don't stress about the money. It's an investment so any return would come through after a minimum couple of years and a bit of a do-up. Look again in 5 years at prices and I'm certain you'll be happy with what you've done.

You're welcome to private message me if you think I can help, but I think the above will be a good start. I'm an amateur, keen DIYer and took on a full renovation when I probably shouldn't have, but got what will be an amazing place when it's done. If all else fails, I can always offer it up for film & tv work. As for the tiny bedroom...would it make an en suite or a utility room?

^^ This is such great advice! Mumsnet at its best!

Pretty sure we just overpaid on ours to make sure we got it. It also has a funny lay out with a ground floor bathroom, but to me it was worth it, as we don't drive - unusual for this area - and location was everything.

If you are going by Zoopla, prices will fluctuate every month depending on the time of year. They will go down right now because of Christmas. By Spring next year it will likely be worth what you got it for, or more.

Every single house has compromises.. location, size, condition and cost.
You’re just having a moment and focusing on one..
Roll your sleeves up, make it yours and just enjoy living in it. Yes there’s a risk you think you might have over paid.. but so what. You’ve done it now and life is full of risks - some are realised and sone are just in our heads. So just keep moving forwards.

My house has a massive hallway and I love it! Lots of storage, pictures, large plants and a lovely small armchair to sit by the full length window with a coffee.

Ours could be considered a strange layout but it flows wonderfully and has a feeling of space. It’s a one-off so hard to know if we paid over the odds but having lived on it for 10 years I would have quite happily paid 25% more for it.

Give it time OP, make it your own

This is the problem in the UK, houses are seen as investments not somewhere to live in. When we buy cars they lose money thousands and thousands, I bought one 12 years ago and it's lost £26000 on the price and yet we don't ring our hands over it.
A spare room which won't take a bed? First of all measure it and find out, and is it is a close run thing get a bespoke bed made my cousin did this and it was brilliant. A single mattress fitted as the frame for the bed was the issue and they put cupboards at the front and the bed also opened up and they could store their decorations in the other side as they where in a flat so no loft.
Make sure you do spend money of the up keep and decorating as this will keep the place warm, clean and nice to live in. Think about decorating like buying a dress, when we buy clothes we don't expect them to increase in cost or as an investment, decorating can be as expensive or cheap as you want it (renovations are a different matter) but a tub of paint that can do a whole room can be as little as £20, brushes on top £30 in all feature walls can add interest without too much cost.
The other thing is everyone wants to tell you why your house is a donkey... people just do... Christ I do it, house over the road I nearly bought 20 years ago and both owners I tell them what put me off... I don't know why I do it, conversation but these are things that are individual to me so, I didn't buy it because of the layout I wanted a En-suite and one of the bedrooms was tiny, like you it had a small room which I doubted a single bed would fit in, first owners used it as a nursery, next owners made it into a en-suite! They had more imagination than me.

When we bought this home people where falling over themselves to tell us about the gruesome deaths of the previous owners, (which we knew as I had noticed how cagey the estate agent was when I asked where the owners had moved too) how mean the husband was so that any work done was bound to be cheap... we have discovered he may have been a miser with other people but all the work is A1 and top end... just it's all 30 years old, lol which we could see. House is sound.
Oh and how much we had paid over the odd and it wasn't worth anywhere near what we paid... took me a whilst to realised they meant on the price it was advertised at not the price we paid.

Just enjoy your home.

Remember you didn't have a problem with with the layout or price until people told you they where a problem... you need to trust yourself more.

@BlissfullyIgnorant - but I'd love a bat cave and pebbled bathroom. Now I want both of them. Off to RightMove...

It sounds like you need some help with your anxiety. You’re obsessing over something you can’t change.

Even if you did pay £60k more than it is worth (which I'm not convinced by, the mortgage company wouldn't have lent on it) you have two choices now 1) hate the house and constantly worry about what you spent, achieving nothing but making yourself miserable or 2. Remind yourself why you loved it, forget about the money because it is gone and commit to getting it just how you want it and loving it. I know which I'd choose.

[quote hivemindneeded]@BlissfullyIgnorant - but I'd love a bat cave and pebbled bathroom. Now I want both of them. Off to RightMove...[/quote]
LOL

sounds to me like youre freaking out by other peoples opinions. You need to remind yourself why you fell in love with it. Those lovely big open spaces. It doesnt need to work for everyone else. Not everyone wants the same thing. I think stop worrying about other peoples opinions. House valuations are not an exact science.
We are in the process of buying a house and we offered over the asking price. I didnt buy it to make a profit. I bought it as the home I want to live in. If other people started telling me all the negatives, id think that very inappropriate

If it makes you feel any better a 10-15% overpayment will feel inconsequential in 10 years.

Can you have an estate agent come and value it? If you got it less than asking price then it may still be worth the sellers price now, might ease you conscience