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Horrible neighbour

25 replies

Purpleamethyst · 11/12/2021 14:56

I have a neighbour that I share a driveway with, the only access to my house is via that driveway.
She decided to put tiny fences at the entrance to purposely make it difficult to enter because she said people (not me, delivery drivers etc) were running over the grass. To get in we have to swing out on the wrong side of the road as it creates a tight right angled narrow turning. We politely asked her to remove them but she refused, and even got her lawyers onto it who said she could do it because it was in her property. Fair enough. We just learned to live with it, although she still keeps blaming me for smashing into it when I haven’t.
Recently she installed cameras everywhere and goes nuts at me every time a driver /workman/anyone stops outside her house. I can’t exactly control these people, I can’t even see that bit of the drive from my house! I told her this but she insists I’m responsible for them if they have come to see me.
She went crazy once when my two year old put one foot on her grass as we were walking out, and absolutely ballistic when the kids accidentally lost a bit of their toy gun in her garden. She threatened to sue me because I asked someone to repair the fence between our properties and he walked on her side. She keeps accusing us of cutting her plants when we didn’t touch them. It’s like this all the time and it’s stressing me out. She leaves me loads of messages, and shouts down the phone. She makes her daughter do this to me as well, she’s even more aggressive than her mum!
My question is, should I block them both from calling me? What should I say if they come over and ask why I’ve done it? I just want a quiet life! I think she is actually insane as there is no way to reason with her.

OP posts:
thegcatsmother · 11/12/2021 15:20

Is it a shared drive, or do you have a right of way over her drive? If the latter, she can do what she likes with the entrance. If you co own it, then remove the fences on your side of the entrance.

LIZS · 11/12/2021 15:23

If her camera covers your property there may be gdpr issues. If her fence is only on her side and there are no enforceable covenants you cannot have it removed.

Purpleamethyst · 11/12/2021 15:41

On our plans it says it’s shared access, but you have to go through her property to access ours.

OP posts:
LIZS · 11/12/2021 15:43

Do you have a diagram. You have a legal right of access over her land for your drive and road but no direct one of your own?

Wingedharpy · 11/12/2021 18:36

I know nothing about shared access drives so have no opinion which would be of help to you OP.
Regarding blocking neighbour and her daughter from calling you - yes, I would.
You are not obliged to speak to anyone you chose not to.
If they ask, "I have nothing to say to you regarding this and am not prepared to be your verbal punchbag".

traka · 11/12/2021 18:48

Sounds like harassment to me. She obviously doesn't give a shit about you and your family

I would block her and her daughter and speak to the local PCSO about her. I think a little visit about her unacceptable behavior would be perfect

ivykaty44 · 11/12/2021 18:54

It’s sounds like harassment

Get a ring doorbell and keep an eye on what’s really happening

Give her an old email address and tell her only to contact you on that

ChardonnaysPetDragon · 11/12/2021 18:57

her cameras should not cover your property.

When you say delivery/workman and so one are stopping outside her house are then blocking her driveway? And are they your deliveries?

shimmmer1 · 11/12/2021 19:43

Yeah sounds like the nieghbour from hell is antisocial and so is her daughter. I would advise you to log the incidents who said what and where dates times etc then get straight onto your local council she and her daughter could both end up with ASBOs.

FAQs · 11/12/2021 19:46

This def needs a diagram, but yes block them!

Cissyandflora · 12/12/2021 10:01

I’d block them too. And of course try your best to never encroach onto their property but you shouldn’t have to listen to lots of abuse via your phone. That sounds awful.

Justilou1 · 12/12/2021 10:03

Keep the messages and claim harrassment.

Justjoinedtomoan · 12/12/2021 10:05

I would post on here www.gardenlaw.co.uk/phpBB2/index.php

hope that helps

thegcatsmother · 12/12/2021 11:22

My NDN has right of way over our drive, but that is it. She cannot park on it; allow her students parents to park on it, and bugger off for 20 minutes, neither should she allow any tradesmen to park on it. That doesn't stop her however. It's our drive, we paid the mortgage on it, we have just paid for the drive to be redone. I think you might need to read the wording of your deeds to see what the situation really is.

When next door was being marketed, the sale blurb said it was a shared drive. I raised merry hell with the estate agents as I didn't want any issues when I reoccupied the house. Their argument was that this would be picked up in searches. I wasn't willing to let it get to that point.

Purpleamethyst · 12/12/2021 12:03

Thanks everyone.
I can’t find anywhere to upload an attachment but I’ll try to describe it. Both our houses are next to each other and there is a long shared access driveway across the front of both our properties. So both our front doors look out onto the drive which goes from left to right.The entrance is on her end so I have no choice but to drive through her section. I know I can’t do anything about her fences, but am just bothered by her unreasonable attitude towards me and my family.
My husband wants to have a driveway put in front of our house so we can get direct access to the main road, but the quotes are coming in at £15000-£18000. I’m not keen on paying this but my husband is!
I have kept all the messages but I don’t know how many incidents would constitute a claim for harassment.
I really think they have mental health problems which have been exacerbated by having cctv on her house. She seems to watch it constantly and comment every single time I have a tradesman. I think she’s got some sort of OCD, she’s really paranoid about anyone on her property or anyone touching the plants or grass.
I dont think her cameras film my house directly, but they do film her section of the driveway. She’s also got a ring doorbell which alerts her anytime someone passes, which makes her even more paranoid.
I think I will try and block them on my phone and see how it goes, although having them rant to me in person is equally unpleasant: not sure which I would prefer!

OP posts:
ChocolateDeficitDisorder · 12/12/2021 12:09

the quotes are coming in at £15000-£18000. I’m not keen on paying this but my husband is!

You might want to have a chat with a couple of Estate Agent's to see how much value the separate drives would add to the house - you might find that it's well worth spending the money and doing it.

Theremoresefulday · 12/12/2021 12:16

I would block her. And make sure you abide by the terms in your deeds.

Theremoresefulday · 12/12/2021 12:16

Is it shared driveway or do you have access over her drive?

stealthninjamum · 12/12/2021 12:21

Op if you’re intending to live there for some time £15 - £18k seems like a bargain to me. Because of threads like this I would never buy a house with a shared drive again (I used to have one with amazing neighbours) so the so the current situation would make your house harder to sell.

Escapetothecatshome · 12/12/2021 13:02

Op I really feel for you, in my last house I didn't have a shared driveway but it was a terraced with houses behind it, so I had a right of way out through the garden of the house behind me for bins etc out onto the road.
The house behind me was sold and a new women moved in, it was a nightmare and she made it feel really uncomfortable to use the passageway and actually uncomfortable in my own garden because you constantly feel watched and judged.
She sounds unhinged and pathetically lonely, block her for your own sanity. I've learnt with neighbours if you give an inch they take a mile and you always seem to get a neighbour that wants to dominant a space - if thats makes sense. She knew it was a shared driveway when she bought the house - maybe next time remind her of that.
Also I don't think I'd want to spend that much money on something that wouldn't be a problem if wasn't for her attitude, if the right people lived there it wouldn't be a problem would it ?
Distance your self mentally from her, take a deep breath and ignore her !

Sending hugs x

BronwenFrideswide · 12/12/2021 13:09

I agree with ChocolateDeficitDisorder and stealninjamum, and your husband if you can afford it £15-18k will be well worth it to stop this level of harassment from your neighbour, it will make your property more appealing to buyers in the future even if it doesn't increase the value to the total you have spent initially, although it will over time, you are getting the use, enjoyment and peace from doing it.

Santahatesbraisedcabbage · 12/12/2021 13:13

Build the drive. Keep your wheelie bins on the bit you hare.. She can then look out at your rubbish all she wants then!!

KittenCatcher · 12/12/2021 13:15

Is there a wall in front of the houses, do you have to walk over the shared drive to get into your house or is it just cars that are the problem.. is there a front garden too or is it the back garden she moans about. I am just trying to picture it. Can the tradespeople park in the road. She sounds awful, Imwould block her and her daughter, if they start leaving notes then keep them but I would look at creating your own driveway if you can. You dont want the hassle of declaring a neighbour dispute if you ever want to sell up.

andtherewere2 · 12/12/2021 13:29

Block her phone and don't answer the door to her or her DD. Im sure getting a Rung doorbell yourself so you can see who is at the door before you answer it, will be cheaper than £18k arranging new access to the road!

cjpark · 12/12/2021 14:16

She sounds like our nightmare neighbours OP! thankfully our drives aren't attached but they watch who comes and goes to our house and shout and verbally abuse people who park on the street or drive past their house.
We blocked their numbers and sent them a recorded letter notifying them that what they were doing was causing distress and surmounted to harassment and that we would not be having anymore contact with them. The neighbours didn't accept this initally and started recording us on their phones but a call to the PCSO and a visit with threat of asbo, means they haven't had any contact now for 3 years.

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